Salvation: Elusive Dreams, Part III
by Michelle Heath
Summary: Part III or Story #9 in the "Salvation" series. Will Danny get Caroline back or will the lives of the Five-0 ohana be forever changed?
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 27, 2012**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here is the first chapter of the final installment of the "Elusive Dreams" storyline. Thank you all so very much for the wonderful reviews, words of encouragement, and suggestions you have given me thus far. It makes my day to log on and find reviews and/or private messages in my in box, so please keep them coming! I hope you enjoy! Michelle**

(BAM! The sound of a door slamming reverberates throughout the house followed quickly by the sound of shattering glass as a large, glass tumbler hits the wall at a high velocity. Then, the anguished sound of choked sobs fills the air and the man, bent and nearly broken, slides slowly to the floor and allows all the pain, anger, guilt, and fear inside of him to surface as his head drops in his hands and he weeps for all he's lost and all he might never regain. It has been nearly two months since the accident that killed his son and sent his wife into a state not unlike that of the living dead, and Danny Williams is quite sure that he's slowly going insane. Cmdr. Shelton, Caroline's psychiatrist, has been trying to bring Caroline out of the mental no man's land she's been in since the accident happened, but has, so far, had no success. A few days after their son's funeral, Caroline was moved from S.I.C.U. and to the Psychiatric Unit at the base hospital at Pearl and the therapy sessions began. At first, only Libby and Mike were directly involved in the sessions with Caroline and the doctor and they talked her through her childhood from her birth all the way up to when she had just turned twelve and met Sam. At that point, Sam joined the sessions and they discussed Caroline's life right on up to the point where Caroline met Steve and Danny and then they joined the sessions. They have only talked about the positive aspects of Caroline's life and none of the negative, and that, in itself, has been extremely difficult. They have also not brought up Grace or Emily, and certainly not the baby. For all their painstaking efforts, Caroline's condition has not changed one iota and it's more than taking its toll of everyone. Danny has been holding all his emotions in check for so long that he feels as if he's about to explode. He has just come home from yet another unproductive therapy session, and that is why he slammed the door, threw the tumbler, and is now sitting on the kitchen floor of the house where he and Caroline live crying like a baby. . .

Mike Thrasher stands at a window in the kitchen of his and Libby's beach house and watches his wife as she stands at the railing on their back deck and gazes out at the ocean. Libby looks so forlorn standing out there all alone and Mike has to stop himself from going out there and pulling her into his arms as he wants to, but Libby asked him to give her some time and he's going to do just that. In all the weeks since the accident, Libby has never once faltered in her belief that they would get their daughter back. . Until now. The topic of today's therapy session was the one they were all hoping would be the trigger to bring Caroline back from whatever Hell she's been in; today, they talked about Caroline's and Danny's wedding and honeymoon and even showed Caroline every, single picture that was taken at the wedding, reception, and in Italy. Caroline did not so much as blink and the failure was almost like a physical blow to them all. It seems that, by unspoken agreement, they had all felt that surely talking about the happiest time in Caroline's life would trigger a response. Now that it hasn't, they are all feeling the heavy weight of defeat. Dropping his forehead on the window pane, Mike closes his eyes and begins to pray, once again, for God to give his daughter back to those who love her. . .

Steve McGarrett stands in the doorway of the bedroom he shares with Sam and a heavy weight bears down on him as he watches his wife moving listlessly around the room straightening up where no straightening up is needed. They've just gotten home from the latest therapy session, the one they were all hoping was going to start the process of Caroline's recovery but failed miserably, and it's almost as if none of them have any more hope. Sam has hardly said a word since they left the hospital, and Steve knows that she's going through about ten different kinds of Hell at the moment. Watching her like this is breaking his heart, and Steve wants so desperately to _do something_ but there's nothing he can do and it's killing him. Every, single day, he sees more of _his _wife disappearing and it's scaring the Hell out of him. Now, seeing the sadness in Sam's eyes, Steve's anger and frustration grow and he has to use all his SEAL training and skills to stop himself from putting his fist through the wall. The sound of their daughter's crying reaches his ears and his heart nearly stops when he realizes that Sam is making absolutely no effort to walk into the nursery and pick up their precious baby. In seconds, Steve has their child in his arms and she calms down, but Steve's anger is rapidly turning to fear that he may lose his own wife before all this is over.)


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 27, 2012**

_(The little blond-haired girl leaves her new bedroom and walks down the curving staircase on her way to the kitchen where she hears her mother's voice. They've just moved into the big, beautiful house in Alexandria, Virginia because the little girl's father, Capt. Jonathan Murdock, has been assigned to the Pentagon. Her mother, Anne, was so excited to leave San Diego and move to Virginia because her very best friend in the whole world, Libby Thrasher and her husband, Mike, also a Captain in the U.S. Navy and also assigned to the Pentagon, were going to be living close by and the two women could see each other all the time. Samantha Murdock, however, was definitely not happy to leave San Diego. She didn't want to leave her friends or the beach or the house she had loved since they were first stationed in San Diego six years ago. Both her parents had explained that they were really moving back home as they had been stationed in Virginia when Sam was born, and she would love it there if she only gave it a chance. Her mother had then told her that Capt. and Mrs. Thrasher also had a daughter named Caroline and she was sure that Sam and Caroline Thrasher would become very good friends. She knew they would because she was such good friends with Mrs. Thrasher. Having just turned twelve and experienced her first "crush" on a boy, which was another reason Sam didn't want to leave San Diego, hasn't brought the maturity in accepting the move that her parents apparently think she should have, so Sam is determined that she's not going to like anyone or anything in Virginia; including Caroline Thrasher. Stepping into the kitchen, Sam realizes that her mother is on the telephone and the genuine delight on Anne's face makes Sam smile. That smile is quickly erased, however, when her mother ends the call and, turning to find Sam sitting at the table, excitedly tells her that Mrs. Thrasher and her daughter will be arriving at the Murdock's home in about ten minutes. Drawing her mouth into a tight line and fixing her mother with a glare, Sam crosses her arms over her chest and shakes her head.)_

"_I don't want to meet a new friend, Mom. I want to go back to San Diego to my old friends!"_

"_Now, Samantha, you know that isn't possible. Your father has received an appointment to the Pentagon, to the staff of the Joint Chiefs, and that means that he's probably going to be promoted in the not too distant future to Admiral. That wouldn't be possible if we had stayed in San Diego."_

"_Fine. Let Daddy get promoted to Admiral! Why can't I live with Lucy and her parents in San Diego?"_

"_Sam, you know that Daddy and I wouldn't be able to live without you, Sweetheart. We love you so much. Besides, Lucy and her parents aren't in San Diego anymore. Her father was transferred to Italy, and they left two days after we did."_

"_I HATE the Navy!"_

"_Of course you don't hate the Navy, dear."_

"_Yes, I do, Mom! I don't want to live in a new house, I don't want to go to a new school, and I don't want to make new friends! I want . . . "_

"_What, Sweetheart, what is it you want?"_

"_I just want to go home!"_

_(Anne Murdock looks at her daughter, all golden-blonde locks and emerald green eyes and a mutinous expression on her beautiful little face, and knows in her heart that Samantha is going to be a great beauty one day and will probably break many a heart before that one, special man comes along. Sitting in one of the chairs at the kitchen table, Anne gathers her child close to her in a warm hug and kisses the top of Sam's head.)_

"_Sam, Sweetheart, you are home. It doesn't matter where we are, as long as you and Daddy and I are together, we're all home. I know you miss Lucy and the rest of your friends from San Diego, but you'll make new friends here. In fact, I'm hoping that you and Caroline Thrasher will become the best of friends just as her mother and I are."_

"_How can you and Mrs. Thrasher be best friends when you haven't even seen each other in years?"_

"_Because we talk to each other on the phone a lot and there have been a few times when Daddy and I went to Washington and you stayed with Lucy that we were able to see the Thrashers. But it doesn't matter how many miles are between you or how long it's been since you've talked, when you truly care about someone, and they truly care about you, the bonds of friendship between you are so strong they can never be broken. Libby Thrasher and I met when your father and her husband were stationed together in Virginia Beach. They were both SEALs, you see, and their team deployed from the East Coast. Libby and I knew from the moment we met that we were going to be become best friends."_

"_How?"_

"_Because, Sam, we hated each other on sight!"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I saw Libby with all that gorgeous, long, golden-red hair and that peaches and cream complexion and those curves in every place ladies should have curves, and I thought that, next to her, I'd look like a lumpy sack of potatoes. I thought your father would take one look at her and cast me aside in a heartbeat."_

"_You're beautiful, Mom! No one is as beautiful as you are, and Daddy loves you more than anyone or anything!"_

"_Thank you, Sam, and I know that now, but at the time, I was a naïve, inexperienced eighteen year old who didn't understand just how much power I had over your father. "_

"_So why did Mrs. Thrasher hate you?"_

_(But another melodic, female voice from the direction of the back door answers the little girl's question as Libby Thrasher and her daughter Caroline walk into the Murdock's kitchen.)_

"_Because I looked at your mother and saw a tall, slender, blonde goddess who had quite a few curves of her own to go along with her emerald green eyes and was sure that Mike Thrasher was about to ask me for a divorce. "_

"_Libby!"_

"_Hello, Anne. Goodness, but I'm glad you're finally here! I've missed you so much!"_

"_I've missed you, too."_

_(And while Anne Murdock and Libby Thrasher are hugging each other and catching up in a flood of quickly asked and answered questions, their daughters are sizing each other up. Both little girls have mutinous expressions on their faces, both of them cross their arms over their chests in a show of defiance, and they are both glaring at one another while their oblivious mothers get reacquainted._

Sam awakens with a start, sits straight up in bed, and is not the least bit surprised to find that tears are running down her face. Pulling her knees up and resting her head on her arms, she takes a couple of deep breaths in an effort to calm herself. The sensation of Steve's large, warm hand on her bare back as he sits up and slides an arm around her slightly shaking shoulders is one which is very welcome and Sam allows him to pull her closer.)

"What's wrong, Beautiful? You have a nightmare?"

"No. I was dreaming about the day I met Caroline. I knew we were going to be best friends and I think she did, too."

"Yeah? How'd you know?"

"Because we hated each other on sight."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 27, 2012**

"You ha. . . Huh?"

"We hated each other on sight; couldn't stand each other. Actually, that's not quite true."

"Are you going to explain, Beautiful?"

"Both of us had just turned twelve and we'd both just been, in our opinions, uprooted from our homes, our friends, our schools, and moved to Virginia all without anyone asking us what we thought about the matter."

"So you were both hated the circumstances; not necessarily each other."

"Yeah, Steve, but we were _twelve_; Caroline and I were both mad as Hell that we hadn't been given any choice in the matter and we were both determined to hate Virginia and anyone we met there. I even went so far as to tell my mother that I hated the Navy."

(And, in one of the truly rare moments of normalcy they've had since Caroline's accident, Steve smirks at Sam and sends her a disbelieving look.)

"You? Hate the Navy? Really?"

"Once again, Steve, I was _twelve years old_. Of course I didn't hate the Navy, but I didn't realize it at the time. The way I saw it, the Navy was the reason that life as I had known it had come to an end. . . I didn't know that the Navy would be the reason I met the love of my life."

"Yeah, I'm glad you really didn't hate the Navy, too, Sam. . So, if you and Caroline _thought_ you hated each other, how'd you get past it?"

"Well, our mother's were always hanging out together so the two of us didn't have much choice except to hang out together, too. Our houses weren't that far apart and neither of us knew anyone else our age at school, so we just started doing stuff together. Before long, we were inseparable. We decided that, since we were both only children and new to the area, we should look out for each other at school. We did homework together, and, well, before we realized it, we were BFF's. As it turned out, we both had a natural aptitude for mathematics and a mutual interest in aeronautics, so, out sophomore year of high school, we told our parents we wanted to go to the Naval Academy and major in Aeronautical Engineering and eventually fly fighter jets for the U.S. Navy."

(A spontaneous giggle, the first one in a _long_ time, bursts forth from Sam and Steve experiences just the slightest moment of relief before she goes on.)

"You should have seen our parents' faces the night we told them what we wanted to do. Our mothers were beaming from ear to ear and acting all proud, but our fathers were. . . Well, let's just say they both had to sit down and take a few deep breaths."

"Because, being SEALs, they both knew how dangerous flying fighters could be."

"Yep, but after they got over the initial shock, they were both on board with it and helped us secure our letters of appointment for the Academy. . . We were in the middle of our first year when my parents were killed. I don't know what I would have done without Caroline then. Before the funeral and afterwards, after we went back to the Academy, she never left me; not once. She was there for me in the wee hours when I'd have a nightmare and, some nights, neither one of us slept at all, but she never left me."

(Steve sees the tears pooling in Sam's eyes and he holds her a little closer.)

"Sam. ."

"I feel like _I've_ left _her_, Steve. I feel like I'm not doing anything to help my sister the way she helped me. I feel like I'm letting her down and I can't stand it any longer! What time is it?"

"0543."

"I'm calling a family meeting. Call Danny and my folks, please, while I check on Emily. Ask them to head over here as soon as they can."

"Sam, it's 0543 hours and none of us have been getting much sleep lately. Don't you think we should wait a little while?"

"Nope. We've waited too long as it is. Call. Now!"

(And so saying, Sam is out of the bed and heads into the nursery to check on Emily. The sight of her precious baby girl sleeping peacefully sends a warm rush of love through Sam and convinces her that what she has on her mind is the right thing to do. . .

Mike grabs his cellular phone as soon as it starts ringing and glances at the clock as he does. Frowning, he checks the caller I.D. and tenses a little he sees Steve's number pop up. Quickly getting out of bed and heading rapidly for the hallway so as not to wake Libby, he answers the call.)

"Something wrong, Son?"

"No, but Sam's calling a family meeting."

"Now?"

"Yeah."

"Do you two know what time it is, Steve?"

"Yeah, Mike, I do, but Sam's got something on her mind and she thinks it's important enough to get everyone over here at this early hour."

(A moment of silence meets Steve's words and then Mike's voice, clear and alert, comes through.)

"All right, Son, if Sam thinks we need to have a family meeting right now, we'll have a family meeting. Have you called Danny, yet?"

"He's my next call."

"I'll do it and Libby and I will go by and pick him up. We'll be there in . . . Thirty minutes."

(Ending the call and tossing his cellular phone on his bedside table, Steve heads into the nursery.)

"Your folks are going to go by and pick Danny up and they'll be in about half an hour."

"Good."

"You wanna let me in on what's going on in that beautiful head of yours, Sam?"

"Yeah, I want my sister back and I'm going to get her back; one way or the other."


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 27, 2012**

(Thirty minutes later, Sam, Steve, Danny, Libby, and Mike are all seated around the McGarrett's kitchen table and little Emily is still asleep in the portable crib nearby. They all have coffee in front of them and all eyes are turned expectantly toward Sam.)

"I know it's early but I need to talk to all of you. We've done things Cmdr. Shelton's way for the past two months now, and Caroline hasn't made one bit of progress. I think we're going about this the wrong way."

"What do you mean, Sam?"

"I mean, Danny, that we've all done everything we could to talk to Caroline about all the _positive _things that have happened in her life. We've racked our brains to remember every, little detail of Caroline's life but we really haven't told her much of anything. I want my sister back and I'm willing to fight for her, to do whatever is necessary to get her back. The question is, are all of you?"

"Samantha, what on Earth, are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking, Mom, that Caroline needs to hear everything; every, single, unvarnished, truth about her life, the bad as well as the good."

"But, Sweetheart, Cmdr. Shelton said hearing negative things might possibly push her further away."

"How much further away can she get, Mom? She doesn't speak, she doesn't think, she doesn't move, she doesn't eat; she doesn't do _anything_ unless someone forces her! All we've been doing is talking about an idyllic, fairy tale life that we all know has had more than a few rough spots. I think it's time we start telling Caroline everything; talk about the baby, tell her, in explicit detail, about little Gabe's funeral, tell her about Gracie wanting to see her so badly she cries almost all the time from missing her! Tell her how Danny is losing his mind because she's given up! I want to take Gracie _and_ Emily _and_ Eric to see her! I want something, anything, to get through to her and bring her back! I. WANT. MY. SISTER. BACK!"

(By now, Sam has worked herself into quite an agitated state and Libby is looking at her daughter with worry, but Danny, Steve, and even Mike are all looking at Sam with something akin to wonder _and_ agreement in their eyes. Danny reaches over and gently lays his hand on top of his sister-in-law's and meets her eyes with a steady gaze.)

"I think you're right, Sam, and I agree; we've tried it Cmdr. Shelton's way long enough; now we need to try something different."

"Okay, then, how about we all have some breakfast and head over to the hospital to have a little talk with Cmdr. Shelton?"

"Aren't you on duty today, Sam?"

"Yeah, Dad, but we have no flights scheduled for the day and Lt. Cmdr. Monroe will cover for me."

"You've asked him?"

"Yes, Sir. Called him while Steve was on the phone with you."

"Are you sure about this, Danny?"

"I am, Libby. Sam wants her sister back, you want your daughter back, and I . . . I want my wife back. I can't live without her, Libby. I know you loved her first, but she's every breath I take and I need her in my life; whole and healthy. None of us can keep going the way we have been forever; it's time we tried something different."

"All right, Son, if this is what you want to do, we're with you."

(Danny places a call to Cmdr. Shelton and tells her that Caroline's family wants to meet with her first thing and she agrees to meet them at 0700 hours at the base hospital. Danny has a slightly worried expression on his face when he ends the call and Mike picks up on it immediately.)

"What's wrong, Danny?"

"Cmdr. Shelton said she was glad I called because she had planned on calling me this morning. Said she wanted to discuss something with us."

"Wonder what that's all about?"

"Don't know but I guess we'll find out when we get there."

(At precisely 0700 hours, Caroline's family is waiting in the room used for Caroline's therapy sessions. Libby and Mike are sitting on one of the comfortable, homey couches holding hands and looking a little unsettled, but Danny and Sam, who are both sitting in comfortable chairs on either side of the couch look calm. Steve, who is seated on the couch closest to Sam, is exceedingly proud of his wife who looks cool and confident, every inch the CAG and 2IC of the base in her uniform. While Sam explained what she wanted to do to everyone, Steve was silently cheering her on because he knows that, once she sets her mind to something, she gets it done. Libby may not be one hundred percent on board with Sam's plan, but she's not going to speak out against it, either. Mike apparently agrees wholeheartedly with Sam, and Danny, . . . Danny looks more hopeful than he has since this nightmare began. Wanting to give Sam a little extra encouragement and support, Steve reaches over and takes Sam's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze and being rewarded with a sweet smile in return. A few minutes later, Caroline's psychiatrist, Cmdr. Shelton walks into the room and takes a seat on the only other vacant chair in the room; a resigned expression on her face.)

"Good morning, everyone; thank you for coming. I wanted to talk to all of you this morning because, after reviewing my notes on Caroline's therapy sessions, I have come to the conclusion that the catatonic state she is currently in is most likely permanent. It's time we start talking about moving her to the V.A. Hospital for permanent, in-patient admission."


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 27, 2012**

(The silence in the room is deafening and the expressions on the faces of Caroline's family range from horrified to angry. Mike has turned an unhealthy shade of red, Libby has gone white, and Sam and Danny are glaring at the doctor with narrowed eyes. Steve decides to stay put for the moment, but he's seriously worried that he's going to have to physically pull one or both of them off the psychiatrist who is sitting there looking very matter-of-fact. The woman obviously hasn't realized that she might be in danger because she hasn't looked up from the notes resting on her lap, and, when she does, she makes the mistake of continuing to pursue her line of reasoning.)

"I realize that this has been a bit of a shock for all of you, and I am so terribly sorry, but I don't believe there is anything further we can do for Caroline. The trauma of losing the baby was simply too much for her mind to bear. I've already spoken with a colleague at the V.A. and they have a bed ready and waiting for Caroline in the Psychiatric Unit. I will, of course, make sure that Cmdr. Lewis is available when Caroline is transferred so he can go over the maintenance treatment plan with you. We just need your signature on a few forms, Danny, and we can have Caroline moved first thing this morning."

(But Sam holds up a hand to her brother-in-law before he can respond and slowly stands up to her full height and her commanding officer persona is fully in force; her voice deadly calm.)

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'no', Cmdr. Shelton. You are not going to transfer my sister to the V.A. Hospital or anywhere else, for that matter. You are not going to simply dismiss her because your method of treatment has not worked. You are not going to write her off and move on to the next poor soul."

"With all due respect, Cmdr. McGarrett, this is not your call; it's Danny's."

"Oh, my sister-in-law is doing just fine, Cmdr. Shelton."

"All right. Again, Cmdr. McGarrett, with all due respect, while you are the second in command of this base, your area of expertise is not psychiatry. Further, I believe you are reacting emotionally instead of rationally as this _is_ your sister we're talking about. There is nothing further we can do for Lt. Williams and we are not equipped to care for her on a long-term basis. You need to defer to my judgment in this matter, Ma'am."

(Sam takes the three steps necessary to bring her face to face with the psychiatrist, and, since the doctor is all of five feet, two inches, Sam, at five feet, nine inches, towers over her. So concerned is Steve that he might need to intervene that he also stands.)

"You are correct, Cmdr. Shelton; psychiatry is _not_ my area of expertise, and, yes, I do have an emotional investment in my sister; I love her. But neither I nor her husband, nor our parents believe that you have exhausted _every _possible method of treatment, and we expect _all_ treatment methods to be attempted _before_ you send Caroline to oblivion. To that end, we held a family meeting this morning and wanted to extend to you the courtesy of asking you to work with us. However, you have made it more than clear that you have washed your hands of Lt. Williams so we won't press the issue. Stand down, Commander, you are relieved."

"You . . You can't do that!"

"Watch me."

(And Sam turns around and immediately walks out of the room in search of the officer who is the head of the Psychiatric Unit. Cmdr. Shelton is disconcerted but quickly recovers herself and appeals to Mike.)

"Adm. Thrasher, surely you understand that I cannot allow Cmdr. McGarrett to discharge me as Lt. Williams' doctor of record."

"Cmdr. McGarrett _is_ the second in command of this base, Cmdr. Shelton, and since this hospital is part of this base, I don't believe you have much of a say so in the matter."

"But, Sir. . . "

"Commander, I don't know where or when you received your commission, but the last time I checked, officers in the United States Navy were required to follow orders issued by superior officers."

"Very well, Sir, but I want to be on record that I will not be held accountable for any harm which may come to Lt. Williams as a result of Cmdr. McGarrett's rash and ill-advised actions."

"Noted, Commander. You're dismissed."

"Aye, aye, Sir."

(As soon as the woman has left the room, Mike turns to Steve with a questioning look on his face.)

"You didn't really believe Sam was going to physically assault the woman, did you, Son?"

"Actually, Mike, yeah, I did. I mean, we came in here this morning with an idea that gave us all some hope and Cmdr. Shelton shot us down before we had a chance to read her in. I could _feel_ the anger rolling off of Sam in waves so, yeah, I was a little concerned for Cmdr. Shelton's physical well-being. I was just hoping I wasn't going to have to pull Sam _and_ Danny off the woman."

(Any further speculation on the subject is halted as Sam walks back into the room with a hopeful expression on her face.)

"I've spoken with Capt. Benjamin Stewart, the head of this unit. I've explained what we want to do and asked him to review Caroline's records and he's agreed to do so immediately and meet with us at 1300 hours."

"Thanks, Sam, and thank you for relieving Cmdr. Shelton. I don't think I could have stood being in the same room with her another minute."

"You're welcome, Danny, and I think you're going to like Capt. Stewart."

"Yeah? How come?"

" 'Cause he's from Jersey."


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 27, 2012**

(By mutual agreement, they decide to wait until they have spoken with Capt. Stewart before implementing their plan to try and reach Caroline. Danny, Libby, and Mike head to her room to sit with her until they can meet with Capt. Stewart leaving Sam and Steve alone in the therapy room. As soon as the three are out the door and it has closed behind them, Sam immediately turns and slips her arms around her husband's neck. Steve, knowing perfectly well that what just transpired cost Sam a great deal, pulls her close and holds her tightly.)

"It's okay, Baby."

"No, Steve, it's not. All I've managed to do is prevent Caroline from being transferred to the V.A. as a permanent in-patient, and that may still happen if we can't trigger a reaction and do it soon. Capt. Stewart was none too happy that I went over his head and relieved Cmdr. Shelton of responsibility for Caroline's care, and he didn't fail to let me know it. He's probably on the phone with Adm. Henderson right now. I don't care, though. If getting a written reprimand in my file means my sister has a chance to come back to us, they can put a hundred of the damned things in there!"

"That's my girl, and you know that Adm. Henderson isn't going to put a written reprimand in your file. He might call you on the carpet and chew you out, but he knows things on this base wouldn't run as smoothly as they do without you."

"And I can't do this without _you_, Sailor. If Capt. Stewart approves what we want to do, I'm going to need you like I've never needed you before."

"I'm right here, Sam, and I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

(Caroline, dressed in a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, is sitting in a comfortable chair in her room near the window when her husband and parents arrive. Libby puts a smile on her face, walks straight to her daughter, and gives her a hug and kiss before sitting in another chair beside her and holding her hand.)

"Good morning, Sweetheart, how are you feeling today? Danny and your father are here, too, and Sam and Steve will be in a little later. Did you have a nice breakfast? I've always loved that shade of pink on you, Caroline, you're absolutely glowing!"

"Hello, Sweetheart, you'll have to forgive your mother's non-stop chattering, I believe she's had a little too much coffee this morning."

"Too much coffee, indeed, Mike Thrasher! I only had two cups, thank you very much! I believe you had three."

"Well, excuse me, Libby, I didn't realize you were counting."

"Are you listening to these two, Gorgeous? No? Me, neither. I'd much rather talk about an idea I've got. I was thinking that, you know, when you're feeling better we could take your parents' boat out for the weekend; just the two of us. Think you might be up for that?"

(But as has been the case since the accident, Caroline neither speaks nor moves in any way to indicate that she has heard anything her husband or parents have said. Exchanging helpless glances with his in-laws, Danny keeps trying. . .

Sam, deciding to go ahead and "face the music" asks Steve to let everyone know that she's heading over to her office to try and get some work done before they meet with Capt. Stewart at 1300 hours. Giving her a kiss that makes her heart simply melt, Steve lets her go. She hasn't been in her office five minutes when Adm. Henderson knocks on the doorframe and steps inside. Sam is immediately on her feet, but the man says, "as you were", and takes a seat in one of the two chairs in front of her desk.)

"How's Lt. Williams this morning, Commander?"

"The same, Sir."

"I am sorry, Sam. I know this has been very difficult for all of you."

"Thank you, Sir. It has been hard, but we haven't given up hope that she's going to make a complete recovery."

"Cmdr. Shelton called me, Sam. She wanted me to know that you had relieved her as your sister's psychiatrist, and that you refused to allow Caroline to be transported to the V. A. Hospital."

"Yes, Sir, that's true."

"What I'm about to say to you, Sam, is as your friend and not your commanding officer. . . Are you sure that you're not too emotionally involved to make the right choice in this situation?"

"Yes, Sir, I am. Did Cmdr. Shelton also tell you that I've spoken with Capt. Stewart and he's agreed to review Caroline's records and discuss the possibility of a new approach to her therapy?"

"As a matter of fact, no. I know Ben Stewart, and, if he thinks there's a chance of Lt. Williams' making a full recovery, it just might happen. Keep me informed, Commander."

"Aye, aye, Sir."

(Sam starts in on the files in her "In" basket as soon as the Admiral leaves her office but she can't help but wonder why he didn't, at the very least, chew her out. Then, again, Sam was perfectly within her rights as 2IC and it isn't as if her decision is going to put anyone in danger of losing their life; quite the opposite. If what the family has decided to try works, they will be giving a life back. A sudden thought occurs to Sam and she picks up her desk phone and calls the office of Senior Chief Charlie Evans over at the main hangar. When the man answers and Sam explains what's on her mind, she can almost hear the smile in his voice as he readily agrees to take care of Sam's request ASAP. Satisfied that she's actually _doing_ something to help her sister, Sam quickly finishes her paperwork so that she can be back at the base hospital at 1300 hours to meet with Capt. Stewart.)


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 28, 2012**

(At 1300 hours, Caroline's family is, once again, in the room they've been using for her therapy sessions and they are all in surprisingly good spirits. Capt. Benjamin Stewart, Chief of the Psychiatric Unit, sweeps into the room and everyone likes him on sight. A small smile flits across Danny's face when the man starts speaking and he shakes the Captain's hand with enthusiasm.)

"Thank you, Capt. Stewart, for agreeing to take another look at my wife's case."

"You're welcome, Mr. Williams, but you should thank your sister-in-law. And, Cmdr. McGarrett, don't think you're going to go over my head if you don't like _my _diagnosis."

"No, Sir."

"All right, then. I have, indeed, reviewed Lt. Williams' records and, while Cmdr. Shelton's approach has merit in some cases, I don't believe it is the right approach for Lt. Williams. Cmdr. McGarrett explained what you all would like to do, and I believe it might be effective."

"Great, so can we get started today?"

"Actually, Mr. Williams, there are only going to be three people involved in your wife's therapy sessions for the time being; myself, your wife, and Cmdr. McGarrett, and I will be observing from the next room."

"Excuse me?"

"If we are able to reach Lt. Williams and bring her mind back to a point where she can comprehend everything that has happened to her, she may react in a negative manner. She will, most likely, experience grief, pain, and anger; particularly toward the person who brings the information to her. Cmdr. McGarrett has volunteered to be that person so as to try and prevent the possibility of Lt. Williams taking her anger out on either you, Mr. Williams, or her parents."

(All eyes focus on Sam and Danny steps closer to her and takes both her hands in his.)

"Sam, . . .You're willing to run the risk of Caroline . . . Damn."

"Sam, Sweetheart, you can't do this."

"Why not, Daddy? We're not even sure this is going to work, but, if it does and Caroline needs to take her anger out on someone, better me than Danny or you and Mom."

"But, Sam, Caroline might end up hating you!"

"She could never hate me, Mom; just like I could never hate her. She might be angry with me for a while, but . . Please, just let me do this .. For all of us."

(There isn't much more to be said, and everyone but Sam steps next door into an observation room while Sam waits for her sister to be brought into the room. As soon as a nurse brings Caroline in and she's sitting on the couch, Sam turns from the window, takes a seat beside her, and takes her sister's hands in hers.)

"Hey, Boo, I have some things to tell you and I need for you to listen very carefully."

(And Sam starts off by going back to when she and Caroline first met and leaves nothing out. She talks, in vivid and heartbreaking detail, about the death of her biological parents, their funeral, and the many nights the two girls were awake all night because of Sam's nightmares. Although Steve knew about the nightmares because Sam had just told him a couple of days earlier, neither he nor anyone else knew just how horrible they were until they listen to Sam talking to Caroline about it. Libby, hurting terribly for both girls reaches out blindly and grabs Mike's hand as they watch and listen to what's going on in the next room. Sam is doing a fairly decent job of keeping her emotions under control but tears leak from her eyes every now and then anyway. She swiftly moves from the death of her parents and the aftermath through everything up to the point where she was involved with the Kasavich family and every horrible thing that happened to her and the rest of the family as a result, again in vivid detail. She painstakingly goes through everything that happened when Caroline and Danny decided to break off their engagement just before Sam and Caroline deployed and were forced to eject behind enemy lines. When she speaks of Caroline's reaction to waking up to find she was temporarily blind, Sam pulls no punches. She is brutally honest and even goes so far as to chastise her sister for being so selfish. From there, she moves on through things until she gets to the accident. Sam gently takes one hand and turns Caroline's face towards her and looks directly in her sister's eyes.)

"Two months ago, you were involved in an accident, Caroline. You were a little over five months' pregnant at the time and the baby died. It was a little boy and Danny named him Gabriel after his grandfather. We had a funeral for him and he's buried in the same cemetery as Steve's parents. Danny wanted to talk to you and ask you what _you_ would like to name the baby, but you had already gone to wherever you are right now. Danny's been going through all kinds of Hell since the accident, Sweetie. He loves you very much and he needs you, we all need you. Mom and Dad have been going crazy, too. They lost four babies before you came along and now. . . Now they probably feel like, in a sense, they've lost you, too. Gracie loves you, too, and she misses you so much, and I . . . I feel like a part of me is missing, Caroline. . . I had a dream the other night about the first time we met. Remember? We hated each other on sight just like our mothers did when they first met. But we became best friends and then sisters and I miss you. In a way, this is worse than when my parents died because I know where they are, but, Honey, I don't know where you are and I need to find you. I love you, Caroline, and whether you like it or not, we're very much a part of each other and I need you to come back to me; to all of us."

(But Caroline doesn't respond to Sam's heartfelt plea and the tears begin to fall in earnest from Sam's eyes. After several long minutes, Sam's shoulders slump in defeat and she slowly rises from the couch, unable to contain her tears a moment longer as she walks toward the door. She has just placed one hand on the doorknob when she hears her name uttered so softly as to almost be silent and snaps her head around to find Caroline looking, _really looking_, at her with tears in her blue eyes. Sam runs to Caroline and the two young women hug each other tightly, both of them crying their eyes out, as the sounds of the door opening and others rushing into the room greets their ears. But, nothing and no one can separate the two sisters for a few moments even though there isn't a dry eye among the other people in the room; even Capt, Stewart finds it necessary to clear his throat a couple of times.)


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 29, 2012**

(When Sam and Caroline finally pull apart, they search each other's eyes for just a moment and manage to exchange a lot of information in their secret way of communicating that only the two of them understand. Smiling through her tears, Sam moves away from Caroline and into her husband's arms as Danny takes her place and pulls Caroline tightly to him. Mike kisses Sam on the cheek, as does Libby, and they hold one another as they patiently wait for their opportunity to embrace Caroline. Steve notices the expression on Sam's face and quickly grabs her hand and pulls her from the room and into the observation room next door. Once the door is shut behind them, Sam literally has a major meltdown and Steve is there to hold her tightly throughout. He doesn't say a word; just holds her and places gentle kisses on her temple every so often to let her know he's there for her. Finally, Sam lifts her head from his shoulder and causes him a moment of concern because he has never seen panic on her face before but he's seeing it now.)

"Sam?"

"Get me out of here, Steve. Now!"

(And that's all it takes for him to realize that what he _thought_ was a major meltdown was only the warm-up and Sam is really about to breakdown in an extremely major way. He also knows that because of her rank and position on the base, Sam does not want any of the base personnel to see her losing it. Grabbing her hand firmly in his, Steve opens the door, glances around quickly, and tugs Sam out into the hallway where they walk rapidly to the stairwell and head downstairs. In a matter of minutes, they are in Steve's truck and off the base headed to their house. Rosa has the children at Kono's and Tony's for the day, so there is no one at the McGarrett's, and Sam is out of the truck and running for the front door before Steve can walk around to her door. She has the front door open and is flying up the stairs to their bedroom by the time he reaches the house and he locks the front door and takes the stairs two at a time. When he reaches the door to their bedroom, he sees Sam standing in the middle of the room looking, well, a little wild-eyed and scared, and he crosses to her in two strides and pulls her close just as the dam truly bursts and she cries so hard that she is nearly gasping for breath after a few minutes. Steve just holds her and lets her cry; knowing that she desperately needs this release and their home is the only place she can truly let go. After what seems like an eternity, Sam's tears slow and he sweeps her up into his arms and carries her to their bed where he gently lays her down and then lays down beside her and pulls her close.)

"Better?"

"A little. . . Thank you for getting me out of there."

"You're welcome. . . What you did today, Sam . . . Baby, I know that took a lot out of you, but you got through to Caroline; you got your sister back. I'm proud of you, Sam, and I love you so much."

"I know. . . Love you, too."

(But Sam is completely exhausted and her words are slightly slurred as she drops off to sleep. Having been right where Sam is after an extremely tense op, Steve knows that sleep is the best thing for her at the moment, and he gently eases her out of her uniform and then pulls the covers up and over her. Glancing at the clock, he pulls out his cellular phone to call Kono and see if they mind keeping Emily a little later than usual so that he can devote all his attention to Sam. As he steps out in the hallway, his phone rings . . .)

"Hey, Mike."

"Where'd you two go, Son?"

"We're at our house. That whole thing took a lot out of Sam and she had a major meltdown. She's asleep right now and I'm hoping she stays that way until morning."

"Is she all right, Steve?"

"No, but she will be. . . You know, I sometimes forget what Sam went through when her biological parents were killed, and every time she has to relive it, it gets that much harder. . . God, Mike, it just about killed her this time."

"We all tend to forget what that child went through, and Libby and I should know better than most just how horrible it was for Sam; for all of us. Where's Emily?"

"Still at Kono's and Tony's. I was about to call them and ask if they could keep her a little later than usual so I can take care of Sam."

"You do that, Son, and, if they can't keep Emily, you let me know. Libby and I will go get her, and you stay close to Sam. We knew she had nightmares after Anne and Jonathan were killed but we didn't know they continued after the girls returned to the Academy. I have a feeling they might be back; at least for a little while. Keep a sharp eye on her."

"Count on it. How's Caroline?"

"A Hell of a lot better than she was. She and Danny are talking about little Gabe right now and, naturally, she's hurting, but she's getting back to normal a little bit at a time."

"Good. Maybe knowing that Caroline's improving will help Sam."

"I hope so. I'm going to bring Libby up to speed on things and I'll get back with you a little later. I have a feeling Libby and I will be over there sooner rather than later."

"Yeah, I think Sam's going to need all of us for a little while."

"Son, I think we both know the person Sam needs the most is right there with her."


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 29, 2012**

(Libby and Mike are sitting in the waiting room of the Psychiatric Unit while Danny and Caroline talk in her room, and Libby watches the expressions that cross Mike's face while he talks to Steve. When he ends the call and takes her hand in his as he sits back down beside her, she sees the concern on his face.)

"Is Sam all right?"

" 'Course she's not all right, Libby; she just went back through Anne's and Jonathan's deaths in excruciating detail. Steve said she had a meltdown so he took her home. She's asleep right now, but I told him to keep a close eye on her. . . The nightmares are going to come back."

"I never knew until today that she continued to have them after she and  
Caroline went back to the Academy. . Why didn't she say anything, Mike? Why didn't she tell us?"

"Because she didn't want to worry us, Libby. She knew how close we were to Anne and Jonathan; especially you and Anne, and she didn't want to worry or upset us any more than we already were."

"We should have known; _I_ should have known! I cannot believe that sweet girl suffered nightmares night after night and neither she nor Caroline said anything."

"They were in their first year at the Naval Academy, Libby. Plebes don't go running to their Mommies; not if they want to graduate."

"Damn the Naval Academy! That child was going through ten different kinds of Hell and never told a soul!"

"Yes, she did, Libby. She told her sister."

(Caroline and Danny are wrapped in each other's arms and they are both crying because they're talking about their son. After Sam moved away and Danny took her place, they just held each other for a while, each of them so very grateful for having the chance to simply be in the other's arms. When they finally pulled apart, Caroline hugged her parents who then graciously said they would go to the waiting room while Caroline and Danny talked. Now, Danny has just finished describing little Gabe to his mother and told her all about the funeral. Caroline, tears falling the entire time, reaches down deep and finds within herself the strength to tell Danny that it's going to be all right, and they'll get through this together. She seems, surprisingly, to be the strong one of the two at the moment, and Danny is close to being more than a little overwhelmed. He's being hit with so many different emotions at the moment that he's having a hard time keeping up, but he wants to know the answer to one question.)

"Caroline, Baby, what was it Sam said that finally got through to you?"

"All of it, Danny. I think . . . I think I heard her when she started talking about the day we met, but . . I think what finally sunk in was when Sam said _you_ needed me."

"I _do_ need you, Caroline; always. I can't make it without you."

"I'm so sorry, Danny. I'm so, so sorry."

"You couldn't help it, Caroline. I'm just thankful that you're back with me now. Don't ever leave me again, Caroline, please."

"I won't, Danny. You're my life, too, and I don't ever want to lose you. Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to see Grace."

(Mike watches Libby as she moves from the window to a chair and flips through a magazine for about three minutes and then jumps up and walks back to the window again only to repeat the cycle after a few minutes. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, Mike stands up and catches Libby's arm as she walks past him.)

"Libby."

"What?"

"You're going to wear a hole in the carpet if you keep pacing back and forth like that."

"I can't help it, Mike. I'm worried about Sam."

"Yeah, I thought that's what was bothering you."

"She opened up a lot of old wounds today, Mike, and I know she did it for Caroline, but I'm worried about her."

"You're always going to worry about our girls, aren't you, Libby?"

"I can't help it, Mike. When are you going to call Steve back and check on Sam?"

"I just talked to him an hour ago, Libby. He'll call us if Sam needs us but we both know that Steve is really the only person Sam needs right now."

"Well, you may be assured that we _will_ be stopping by their house on the way home. I want to check on Sam myself and Steve, as well. He hasn't escaped unscathed by all this, you know."

(At that moment, Steve is standing at the bedroom window looking out at the sun dropping into the ocean and praying that Sam will be able to get some uninterrupted rest for a change. The last two months have been hard on all of them and Sam is mentally and physically exhausted. Taking the few steps necessary to reach their bed, Steve lifts the covers and slips in behind Sam and pulls her into his arms. As much as he wants Sam to get some rest, he also needs to be close to her. Feeling a little selfish but not caring, Steve tightens his arm around Sam's waist and brushes a gentle kiss across her temple. Sam whimpers softly and turns toward Steve's warmth, and he has a moment when his eyes burn as he thinks about how much he loves this woman. In sleep, her expression is more vulnerable and there are shadows beneath her eyes, but she's just as beautiful to him as she's ever been; more so because of the person she is on the inside. The bedroom is gradually darkening because of the setting sun, but Steve doesn't move a muscle. Caroline is on her way to a full recovery, Emily is with Kono and Tony, Sam is sleeping in his arms, and he's right where he wants to be.)


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: October 31, 2012**

(The ringing of Steve's cellular phone brings him from a deep sleep to an instant state of awareness, and he snags it from the bedside table before the first ring is complete. Glancing at the caller I.D., he sees his father-in-law's name and number pop up and answers softly asking Mike to hang on a second while he gently eases out of the bed hoping not to disturb Sam. He glances at the clock on the bedside table and determines it's 1830 hours as he moves with the grace of a panther out into the hallway and resumes his conversation.)

"Sorry about that, Mike. I didn't want to wake Sam."

"It's okay, Son. Is she still asleep?"

"Yeah. It's the first _real_ rest she's gotten in quite a while so I don't want to wake her up if I can help it."

"And I understand that completely, Steve, but Libby insists she needs to come over there and check on both of you."

"Both of us?"

"Yep. Is Emily still at the Montgomery's?"

"She is, but I was about to call and see if one of them could bring her home."

"I'll call them and Libby and I will go by their house and pick up Emily. You can expect us in about forty-five minutes. Want us to pick up something for dinner on the way?"

"That would probably be a good idea."

"You haven't left Sam since you've been home, have you, Son?"

"No, Sir, I haven't, and I'm not inclined to leave her now, either."

"Understood. We'll pick-up Emily _and_ dinner and see you in an hour or so."

"Thanks, Mike."

(Ending the call and moving noiselessly back into their bedroom, Steve sees Sam's beautiful emerald green eyes looking up at him and he sits on the side of the bed, leans over, and gives her a gentle kiss.)

"How long have I been asleep, Steve?"

"A couple of hours. You feeling any better?"

"A little. I'm just so damned tired."

"I don't doubt it. The last couple of months have been hard and today had to be really tough on you."

"Where's Emily?"

"Kono's and Tony's, but that was your dad and he and your mom are going by there and pick her up after they pick-up dinner."

"Guess I need to get up and get dressed."

"No, Sam, you don't need to do anything you don't want to do, Baby. If you want to stay right there, I'll bring dinner to you."

"I know you would, Steve, but I want to get up. . . I can't lie around in bed half the day and all night."

"Yes, Sam, you can, but, if you want to get up and get dressed, you can do that, too."

"I love you, Steve McGarrett, more than my life, and I thank God for you every, single day."

"Right back at 'ya, Beautiful."

"How long before they'll be here?"

"An hour, give or take. . . Bet I can make you feel much better before they get here."

"Bet you could, too, but I'd rather wait until after Mom and Dad leave and the baby's asleep. I'd kind of like for us to take our time. That okay with you?"

"Absolutely. . . Sam, I'm going to be right here, Sweetheart; I'm not going to leave you, promise."

"I know."

(The Thrashers arrive fifty-seven minutes later with little Emily and take-out from Sam's favorite Mexican restaurant to find Sam and Steve in the kitchen setting out plates, forks, and glasses. The moment Libby sets Emily down on the floor, she runs to the kitchen yelling, "Mommy!" and "Daddy!" at the top of her little lungs. Sam, a smile instantly appearing on her beautiful face, opens her arms and bends down to sweep her daughter up in a tight hug. Little Emily giggles happily and plants a loud, wet kiss on her mother's cheek and Steve, wanting his share of their daughter's kisses, slips an arm around Sam's waist and takes one of Emily's little hands in his large one and kisses her little fingers.)

"Hey, Baby Girl, did you have a good time at Eric's?"

"E-ric! . . . Want Daddy!"

(And Emily holds her little arms out to her Daddy and Steve immediately takes her from Sam and gets a loud, wet kiss of his own. Sam giggles in delight and leans across their daughter to give Steve a kiss on the other cheek and the look he sends Sam says it all; Steve McGarrett is a very blessed man and he knows it. Standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Libby and Mike watch the scene in front of them and, when Mike looks at his wife, he sees that she completely understands why she has no need to worry about either Sam or Steve; no reason at all. In fact, Libby is all misty-eyed and on the verge of tears, so Mike places a hand at the small of her back and gently nudges his wife into the kitchen so they can start getting dinner on the table.

Libby explains that Capt. Stewart felt Caroline would be better able to deal with everything if she were in a more comfortable setting, so he discharged her from the hospital and Danny took her home. They were going to pick Grace up on the way and have a family dinner together just the three of them. After dinner, Libby insists on helping Sam clean up while Steve and Mike play with Emily and then the Thrashers take their leave so that Sam and Steve and Emily can have their own family time. Looking over at his wife while they are waiting at a traffic light, Mike suddenly understands what's wrong with Libby. Gently taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips so he can brush a soft kiss across the back, he smiles when she looks over at him questioningly.)

"You have absolutely no one and nothing to worry about at the moment, do you, Libby?"

"I . . No, Mike, I don't. All seems to be well with the children, thank God, and . . ."

"And you don't know what to do with yourself."

"Well . . . No. I don't."

(Mike's expression turns predatory and Libby knows exactly what that look means.)

"Good. I believe we should take some time for ourselves, Libby."

"I think you may be right, Mike."

(And now both of the Thrashers have something to look forward to when they get home.)


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 2, 2012**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Although it may seem like this part of "Elusive Dreams" is coming to an end, I promise you it is not. There is still more drama for our guys and girls in this story, so please keep reading and reviewing. I would love to hear from all of you if you have suggestions, as well. Thank you so much for reading my work! Michelle**

(Sam leans in the doorway and watches as Steve expertly changes Emily's diaper, puts her in a sleeper, and "flies" her around the nursery making "zoom zoom" noises which causes their beautiful baby girl to laugh delightedly and clap her little hands together. Steve is actually a very good pretend fighter pilot, and Sam is laughing right along with Emily.)

"Okay, Baby Girl, here we go again. . . Two bogies at Angels five and closing fast! We need to take them out before they get close to our carrier; it's all up to us! You ready?"

(And off they go again. They succeed in shooting down both bogies, of course, and Steve brings Emily in for a landing on the carrier which happens to be her bed. Sam claps her approval and moves next to Steve so she can lean over and kiss her daughter goodnight. Both parents stay put, each with an arm around the other, while Emily cuddles with a small, brown teddy bear and nods off to sleep. Sam shoots Steve a sexy, little look that has him focused on her retreating form and following her into their bedroom in less than a heartbeat. . . .

When Danny called Rachel to bring her up to speed on Caroline's condition and ask if Grace could spend the night, Rachel quickly agreed saying how very glad she was that there had been a breakthrough and that Caroline was well on her way to a full recovery. Since Caroline was just being discharged from the hospital after a two-month stay, Rachel told Danny she would bring Grace over the their house herself _and_ she would bring dinner for them, as well. Danny is honestly and deeply touched by his ex-wife's ready agreement and kind offer, and he quickly accepts. He wastes no time in getting Caroline's things packed and both of them home. It doesn't dawn on him that Caroline is going to walk into their house and right by the nursery until she is already through the door from the garage and heading to the den.)

"Caroline!"

"Yes, Danny?"

"I . . . Sweetheart, the . . ."

"It's all right, Danny; I know the . . ., the baby's room is still the way we left it the day of the cookout at Mom's and Dad's. Seeing it isn't going to send me back to 'never never land'; promise."

"I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world, Caroline."

"I know that, Danny. I also realize that you've been through Hell the past couple of months; you had to deal with our baby's death and funeral all by yourself while I selfishly retreated into no man's land so I wouldn't have to face the fact that we'd lost the child we both so desperately wanted. I am so very sorry, Danny; for everything."

"What happened was not your fault, Caroline. Don't, for one second, ever think that you are in any way to blame for our son's death."

"I understand that, Danny, but I should have been there for you when our son died."

"Baby, you couldn't help what happened; Cmdr. Shelton and Capt. Stewart both agreed that the realization that our baby was dead was too much of a shock for you to cope with and that's why you retreated into the catatonic state."

"Because I'm weak, Danny. I wasn't woman enough to be there for you when you needed me the most. I failed you."

"No, Caroline, you didn't fail me. You could never fail me."

"But you needed me and I wasn't there for you!"

"Listen to me. . . What happened was _not _your fault; you did _not_ let me down. I love you, Caroline. As corny as it sounds, I can't live without you, I need you more than I need my next breath. I know that we've got some work ahead of us before we can get back to where we were before the accident, but _we_ can do this; as long as we're together, we can do anything."

(And to punctuate his words, he gives his wife a very sweet kiss that melts her heart. Moments later, Caroline looks Danny in the eye, takes his hand, and gently tugs in an effort to get him moving, with her, to the nursery. For just a moment, Caroline stands in the doorway of the room the two of them had so lovingly prepared for their baby and looks around. From the furniture to the curtains and wall hangings to the tiny outfits lying on top of the changing table and the many stuffed animals scattered on every spare surface and in the crib, everything is exactly as they left it the day of the accident. Caroline steps into the room and crosses to the crib where she reaches down and picks up a small, stuffed rabbit and just stares at if for a moment. Turning to meet Danny's eyes when she feels the gentle touch of his hand on her shoulder, Caroline sees just how much he's suffered the past two months. But she also sees love and hope in his gaze and she turns into his arms so that they can hold one another and finally, share their grief for their lost child. . . . )


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 3, 2012**

(Her body a thoroughly sated boneless mass, Sam lies in Steve's arms after he has just made love to her so sweetly she nearly cried and sends up a prayer of gratitude for the strong, brave man she calls husband. Her love for Steve is so strong that she is convinced that, should anything ever happen to him, she will simply stop breathing. Knowing that he feels exactly the same way about her brings a smile to her lips and she somehow finds enough strength to push herself up so that she can look down into the handsome face she dearly loves and brush a soft kiss against Steve's mouth.)

"I love you, Steve."

"I love you, too, Sam. Forever and Always. . . Whoa, what's wrong, Beautiful? Why are you crying?"

"Can't help it. My sister's well on her way to recovering, we have a beautiful, sweet daughter, and I have you; I am a truly blessed woman."

"Ah, the 'tears of joy' thing."

"Yes, and don't you dare make fun of me, Steve!"

"I'm not making fun of you, Baby; I happen to agree with you."

(And, moving like lightning, Steve gently flips Sam so that he has her pinned beneath him; much to her extreme delight.)

"We're both very blessed, Sam. You are my other half and, I know I've said it before, but I honestly believe that God created you for me and me for you."

(And, before Sam can say a word, Steve dips his head and takes her mouth with his in a kiss that nearly takes her breath away. His hands move sensuously over her body and, tearing his mouth from hers, he begins to gently nip her jaw and then her neck until he finds the "sweet spot" at her collarbone, and Sam is again swept up in the heat of desire. . . .

As soon as she is through the door, Grace races through the kitchen and "launches" herself at Caroline who is entering the den from the hallway which leads to the bedrooms. Grace hugs Caroline fiercely and Caroline has tears in her eyes at the effusive greeting from the little girl; even Rachel is misty-eyed as she sets two huge bags on the kitchen counter. Once Grace has stepped back to give Caroline a visual assessment, Rachel steps forward and also gives Caroline a hug; an action that surprises Danny somewhat, but Caroline seems to take it right in stride.)

"I'm very glad that you're feeling better, Caroline; you've been greatly missed the past couple of months."

"Thank you, Rachel. I have some lost time to make up for; especially with Grace."

"Indeed, you do, and I want you to know that Grace may spend time with you whenever you and Danny would like. Grace has missed you terribly these past weeks."

"Rachel, that. . . That means a lot. Thank you."

"You're quite welcome, Danny. It means a lot to Grace, as well. Now, Grace asked me to make some of her favorite dishes for dinner, so I hope the two of you will enjoy my chicken casserole, five-layer salad, and creamed potatoes. Oh, and there's a chocolate fudge cake for dessert."

"Wow, Rachel, you must have been in the kitchen all afternoon. You didn't have to go to all that trouble for us."

"Of course, I did, Danny, I want Caroline to be able to spend time with you and Grace without having to worry about anything else. That means that you're going to be in charge of cleaning up after dinner."

(Caroline and Grace have walked outside to the back deck so Danny and Rachel are alone in the kitchen.)

"Not a problem. . . . Rach, thank you; really, this means a lot; to both of us."

"You're welcome, Danny. I'm just glad that Sam was finally able to get through to Caroline. I know how upset Grace was, and I have a fairly good idea of how devastating all this must have been for you. . . I truly am sorry about the loss of your son, Danny. I can't imagine how either of you must be feeling."

"We're going to get through it together, and, when the time is right, we'll try again."

"Good, but please don't rush Caroline into having another baby. She's probably going to need quite a bit of time before she'll be willing to even think about another pregnancy."

"Yeah, I know. I had a long talk with her doctor, Capt. Stewart, before we left the hospital and he said almost the same thing. I'm just so thankful to have Caroline back that I'm not about to rush her into anything."

"Good. I'm going to tell Caroline and Grace goodbye now, but I want you to know that . . Well, if you need to talk with someone; I'm here."

"You never cease to amaze me, Rachel. Not many women would do what you've done and are doing for your ex-husband and his new wife."

"I'm not most women, Daniel."

(Out on the back deck, Caroline and Grace are sitting on one of the comfortably cushioned loveseats with Caroline's arm around the little girl and Grace is, once again, happy to be with her stepmother. Although Rachel cautioned Grace to be careful about asking Caroline any questions which might upset her, there is one question that Grace wants answered that simply won't wait.)

"Mom?"

"Yes, Grace?"

"The doctor didn't think it would be good for me or Emily or Eric to come see you while you were in the hospital, so I haven't gotten to see you in such a long time, and . . . "

"What is it, Sweetie?"

"Do you still love me as much as you did before you got sick?"


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 3, 2012**

"Oh, Gracie! Of course, I love you as much, Sweetheart! I love you _more_ because you were there for Danno when I couldn't be! I am so thankful that your father had you to love and comfort him while I was sick. Danno told me how much it meant to him every time you gave him a hug and kiss and told him everything would be okay; especially during . . . During Gabe's funeral. Thank you, Sweetheart, for taking care of Danno for me."

"I wanted to take care of you, too, Mom, but that silly old doctor wouldn't let me see you! I just know that my hugs and kisses would have made you feel better sooner!"

"I know they would have, too, Grace, but, sometimes, grown ups don't always make the right choices. Cmdr. Shelton went to school for a very long time and studied very hard to become a psychiatrist, and she has way more experience with the kind of illness I had than Danno, or Grandma and Grandpa or Aunt Sam and Uncle Steve, and, because of that, she thought it would be better if I didn't see _any_ children for a while."

"I know, and she didn't want anyone to talk about kids around you, either. I heard Grandma and Grandpa talking about how hard it was on Danno and Aunt Sam and Uncle Steve to not talk about me and Emily around you. Grandma said they were all really scared they were going to mess up and mention one of us in front of you."

"I'm so sorry, Grace, but we don't have to worry about any of that now. I'm feeling much, much better, and I _know_ that having you around is going to help me get completely well that much quicker."

"Mom?"

"Yes, Grace?"

"Mommy said that you were really, really sad about Gabe and that I shouldn't talk about him, but. . . "

"It's all right, Grace. Yes, I'm extremely sad about Gabe; part of me always will be, but I don't want you, or anyone else, to feel that you _can't _talk about him with or around me. He's a part of our lives and he always will be so it would be silly for any of us to think we won't remember him."

(Grace, who has been very calm while talking with Caroline up to this point, throws her arms around Caroline's neck and begins to sob rather loudly; her little voice breaking and cracking.)

"He . . He was . . . My bro. . . Brother and I . . .Ne. . .Never even g. . Got to. . . See Hi . . Him!"

"Oh, Baby, I'm so, so sorry, Grace! I would give anything if I could go back and change things, Sweetheart!"

(Danny, having seen Rachel out, steps onto the back deck just as Grace makes her tearful declaration, and his heart is ripped open again as he watches his wife and daughter, both of whom are crying freely, hug each other tightly. Swiping at his own tears, he wordlessly walks over, kneels down, and pulls both of them into his arms. It is a long time before any of them moves so much as an inch. . . .

Libby Thrasher simply cannot sleep. After she and Mike got home from Sam's and Steve's, her dashing husband swept her off her feet, carried her upstairs to their bedroom, and proceeded to make love to her not once, but twice. Passion has _never_ been a concern in their marriage and Libby is quite sure that they will behave like newlyweds for the rest of their lives; a thought which brings a smile to her beautiful face. Now, however, Mike is sleeping like the proverbial log and she is wide awake. For one, teensy tiny second, Libby is totally annoyed with her husband, but then she realizes that the fault for her sleeplessness lies not with Mike, but with her. As ecstatically happy as she is that Sam was able to get through to Caroline and things seem to be returning to a more normal state, she can't quite shake the feeling that all is not as it seems. Mike, of course, told her she was being paranoid, and should be thankful that, after two months of horror, they had Caroline back, but Libby has always had a "sixth sense" where the children are concerned and she has a vague feeling that they are not through with trying times and tense moments just yet. Of course, she didn't know that Sam had continued to have nightmares after she and Caroline went back to the Naval Academy, either, so maybe Mike's right and she _is_ just being paranoid. Damn! Now she's overanalyzing everything and _triple_-guessing herself! Well, this idle speculation certainly isn't getting her anywhere! Taking a deep breath and slowly expelling it, Libby concentrates on forcing all conscious thoughts from her head and tries to relax. Sam isn't the only one who's learned a thing or two from her SEAL husband, and Libby employs a technique Mike once taught her when she asked him how he was able to go from wide awake to a deep sleep, and vice versa, in a matter of seconds. Twenty minutes later, Libby is thoroughly pissed off and becoming more so with every second that ticks off the clock. Having had enough, she throws the covers back and swings her bare legs around to the side of the bed in preparation of getting up, getting a robe, and going downstairs to read. She is just about to push herself off the bed when Mike's arm shoots out and her wrist is encircled by a hand that feels like a band of steel.)

"Just where do you think you're going, Libby?"

"Downstairs. To read. I. Can. Not. Sleep!"

"Think again."

"Michael!"


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 3, 2012**

_(She's cold; cold and wet and frightened but doesn't know why and she can't see anything through the thick, almost suffocating fog that envelopes her. All she can do is keep moving and hope that she can move out of the grayness and back into the sunlight. Taking a step and then another and another, she keeps moving, but the fog is not clearing. If anything, it seems to be getting thicker and darker and the temperature is dropping, as well. Her heart rate picks up and fear begins to slither in her belly, cold and dark, but she doesn't stop. She can't stop because she's afraid that, if she does, she will be forever lost in this terrible void. She is so very tired and it takes real effort to force her feet to continue to move, but she cannot stop. Suddenly, the fog begins to thin out and she can see indistinct shapes in front of her and the level of her fear increases with each step she takes. Her heart rate picks up and she begins to tremble, whether from fear or the cold she doesn't know. The shapes in front of her are becoming clearer now. Doors. Huge, doors are what lie in front of her now. "Sam". Who was that? "Sam." Who. Was. That! Everything slows down. She sees her feet moving in slow motion toward the doors. She watches in horrified fascination as her hand slowly reaches out toward one of the doors, every fiber of her being silently screaming, "NO!" The door is opening now, and she desperately, DESPERATELY does NOT want to see what's on the other side! What she wants does not matter because the door is slowly opening and she is compelled to move forward. She has broken out in a cold sweat and her heart is pounding painfully in her chest, but she cannot stop her forward movement. Sheet-covered metal tables, side by side, the strong smell of antiseptic, shadows transforming and taking on ghoulish shapes, and a heavy weight crushing her chest. She can't breathe! No! No, I don't want to do this! "Sam." Oh, God, no! "Sam." She shuts her eyes and prays that this will all disappear. When she opens them again, her parents' dead bodies, bloody and torn, bones protruding through skin, eyes open and staring, lie before her. No. No! NO!)_

"Sam! Sam, wake up! SAM!"

(Her eyes snap open and Steve sees pure panic and fear in their emerald green depths as he does his damndest to bring her out of the nightmare and back into the safety of his arms. She is breathing so hard and fast that he's scared she's about to pass out and he lets go of her upper arms to grab her face with both hands and force her to look directly in his eyes.)

"You're all right, Sam. It was a dream; just a dream. I'm right here. I've got you. You're all right."

'St. . . Steve?"

"Yeah, Beautiful, it's me. I've got you. You're all right, Sweetheart, I'm right here."

"Ho. . Hold me."

"Til the end of time, Sam, and then some."

(But she is still trembling; violently so, and the fear and panic are still present in her eyes and Steve is getting worried. Never has he seen Sam this frightened, this vulnerable, this lost, and it's killing him. Pulling her into his arms, he holds her very tightly and does his best to talk her down from the nightmare. A quick glance at the clock tells him its 0337 hours, and he has a feeling they've got a long night ahead of them. Sam scrambles to get as close to Steve as she can and he tightens his arms around her while he continues to softly reassure her and intersperses his words with soft kisses. Finally, after what seems like hours, Sam's trembling lessens and her breathing slows to a more normal rate, and Steve heaves a sigh of relief.)

"Better?"

"Yeah. What time is it?"

"0421."

"Steve?"

"What, Baby?"

"Go get Emily, please. I need both of you right now."

"Be right back."

"Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Hurry."

(Steve hurries into Emily's room, scoops his sleeping daughter up quickly, and hands her to her mother in a matter of seconds. Sam deftly lays the baby on her side, pulls her little body up close to hers, and gently kisses Emily's dark, silky hair as Steve slides into the bed, pulls both of them close, and puts a strong, muscled arm around Sam's waist. Emily McGarrett never even stirs, but neither her mother nor father sleep another wink the rest of the night. Sam can't sleep because she's afraid of having another nightmare and Steve won't sleep because he's determined to keep watch over his wife and daughter. He feels soft shudders run through Sam's body and reaches up with one hand to find her face wet with tears."

"Sam, Baby, you're all right, you and Emily are safe. I won't let anyone hurt either of you. Promise."

"I know that, Steve. I trust you wife my life, with Emily's life."

"Go to sleep, Sweetheart. You need to rest."

"I can't, Steve. I'm scared."

"I'm right here, Sam. I won't leave you."

"I know. . . . I don't want to . . . See them like that again, Steve."

"I know you don't, Baby. I'm sorry you had to see them like that at all. If I could take that memory from you, I would."

"Let me go."

"You're okay."

"No, Steve, let me go! I'm going to be sick!"

(And, although he's not quite sure how they manage it, both of them are out of the bed and Sam flies to the bathroom all without waking Emily. Steve can hear Sam retching violently in their bathroom, and he quickly puts some pillows around Emily to keep her from rolling off the bed and goes to Sam. He spends the rest of the night alternating between checking on Emily and holding Sam's hair back as she empties her stomach and wiping her face with a cool washcloth. Just as the dawn begins to break, Steve carries Sam's limp form back to their bed and gently lays her down. He has already put Emily back in her own bed, and Sam is so exhausted from being sick that she has fallen into a deep, and he hopes dreamless, sleep. At 0600 hours, he snags his cellular phone from the bedside table, hits a speed dial and waits.)

"Steve? Everything okay?"

"No, Mike, everything's not okay. I need you and Libby over here ASAP. There's a problem with Sam."


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 3, 2012**

(Steve is pacing in the hallway outside his and Sam's bedroom when Libby and Mike let themselves in with their key and come upstairs. A fiercely dark scowl is on Steve's handsome face and it eases only marginally when he sees his in-laws. Quickly checking to make sure Emily and Sam are both still asleep, Steve turns back toward them and both Libby and Mike see the worry in his eyes.)

"What happened, Son?"

"As you predicted, Sam had a nightmare last night about seeing her parents in the morgue at Bethesda. It took me nearly five, full minutes to get her awake enough to realize where she was and another thirty for her to calm down enough to stop shaking. When she did, she wanted Emily so I went and got her and put her in the bed with us and that seemed to help for a little while, but, about an hour later, Sam practically shoved me out of the bed and ran to the bathroom where she stayed until about forty-five minutes ago. I put Emily back in her bed and stayed with Sam, holding her and wiping her face after she threw up until all she was capable of was dry heaves. She was so weak by the time I carried her back to bed she could barely hold her head up. I know telling Caroline about her parents' death was necessary, but it's taken a lot out of Sam. I'm scared. I don't know how to help her through this. I . . _We_ need your help."

"All right, the first thing we're going to do is get some breakfast ready. Sam may or may not feel like eating something when she wakes up, but you need to eat something and Emily will most definitely be hungry when she wakes up. Mike, you go downstairs and start a pot of coffee. Steve, you march yourself into that bathroom and take a hot shower. I'm going to check on Emily and Sam. Move, gentlemen, we have work to do!"

(And neither Steve nor Mike dares to defy Libby's orders and both take off in opposite directions while Libby steps into Sam's and Steve's bedroom and moves quietly to the bed. Sam is pale and has dark circles under her eyes, and, even in sleep, her face is tense. Libby gently smoothes Sam's hair back from her face and places a motherly hand on her forehead. Finding that Sam is not feverish, Libby adjusts the covers and kisses Sam's forehead before stepping through the connecting door to the nursery. Emily is just beginning to stir as Libby approaches the crib and makes little snuffling sounds as she awakens.)

"Hello, Emily. How's Grandma's pretty girl today?"

"Gan-Ma! Want Mommy!"

"Mommy isn't feeling well this morning, Emily; she's still sleeping. Why don't we go downstairs and see Grandpa, hmmm?"

"Gan-Pa! Gan-Pa!"

"That's right, Emily. Let's go see Grandpa."

(Steve wastes no time in the shower and dresses quickly, looking worriedly at Sam's sleeping form the whole time. Glancing in the nursery, he sees that Emily's bed is empty and assumes Libby took her downstairs. Sitting on the side of their bed, Steve is torn between staying with his wife or going downstairs to his daughter, but decides Emily is in good hands with her grandparents and he needs to be there if Sam has another nightmare. Mike finds him there, holding Sam's hand, thirty minutes later.)

"She's going to be okay, Steve. Just going to take some time."

"I can't stand to see her hurting, Mike; it cuts me to the core."

"I know, Son. I've been right there myself, and not a damned thing you were taught in BUD/S is helpful when the woman you love is in pain."

"What am I going to do, Mike? How do I help Sam get through this? How do I take her pain away?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Steve, except that you _will_ find a way. . . Libby sent me up here to tell you to come downstairs and have some breakfast. Sam will be okay without you for a few minutes. Besides, Emily wants her Daddy."

(It is only the last sentence that convinces Steve to leave Sam for a little while and he finally agrees to go back downstairs with Mike. Libby is holding Emily in her arms and they are both looking out the kitchen window toward the ocean where the sunlight is reflecting off the water when Steve and Mike enter the kitchen. Emily spies her father and immediately holds both little arms out toward Steve and starts saying, "Daddy!" over and over until Steve takes her from Libby."

"Hey, Baby Girl."

"Daddy. Want Mommy."

"Mommy's asleep, Emily; she isn't feeling good this morning."

"Want Mommy!"

"Hey, I thought you wanted Daddy?"

"Love Daddy. Want Mommy."

"Tell you what. How about we have some breakfast and then go see Mommy, okay?"

(But Emily McGarrett is definitely her mother's _and_ her father's daughter and has a stubborn streak a mile wide. She crosses her little arms in front of her and adopts a fierce expression that looks eerily like Steve's and says very slowly and succinctly, "Want. Mommy!", as if her father is an idiot. Mike quickly coughs to cover his amusement at his granddaughter's antics and Steve is having a hard time hiding his mirth as well, but he manages to smother a smile and adopts a stern expression.)

"Emily Anne McGarrett, I said your mother isn't feeling well this morning and is still asleep. You, young lady, are just going to have be patient and wait until Mommy wakes up. In the meantime, you're just going to have make do with Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa."

(But Emily is looking past her father and a big smile spreads across her little face as she spies her mother standing in the doorway and starts holding out her little arms and leaning toward her mother.)

"Mommy! Mommy!"

"Good morning, Sweetheart."

"You okay, Beautiful?"

"Yeah, Sailor, I'm good; at least, for the moment."

"Are you sure, Sam? 'Cause you're not looking too good right now."

"I'm okay, Steve."

"That nightmare really got a hold of you, Sam. So much so that it literally made you sick."

"The nightmare didn't make me sick, Steve. . . . I think I may be pregnant."


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 4, 2012**

"You . . . What?"

"I said, I think I may be pregnant."

"Sam, in order for you to be pregnant, .."

"Hold up, there, Son, I believe we're all aware of just what would have to happen for Sam to be pregnant."

(But neither Sam nor Steve are listening to Mike nor are they looking anywhere but at each other and Steve hands Emily off to her grandfather so he can move to stand directly in front of Sam.)

"In order for you to be pregnant, Sam, you'd have to be off your birth control pills, and I know for a fact that you're not."

"Okay, one, they're not one hundred percent effective, and, two, I missed a couple the last few weeks. I was so upset about Caroline that I . . . God, Steve, I don't really know how I missed them, but I definitely missed a couple of pills."

"We need to find out, Sam, as soon as possible."

"I know that, Steve. I called the OB/GYN Clinic at the base hospital before I came down here. I'm going to take a shower and get dressed and then we're going over there so they can run a pregnancy test."

"Good, that's . . . That's good. Are you okay?"

"Honestly? No, Steve, I'm not. Getting pregnant while on birth control pills is a pretty stupid thing to do. Birth control pills can cause serious birth defects. And then there's the fact that I just got my sister back. How do you think Caroline's going to react to my being pregnant? It would be like rubbing salt into an open wound! And, on top of everything else, I'm having stupid nightmares like a three year-old!"

(Sam has started crying and she's shaking again and Mike makes a hasty exit to the back deck with Emily in his arms while Steve enfolds Sam in his. Libby, her heart breaking for her daughter, steps over to them and tries to offer what comfort she can.)

"Sam. . . Sam, look at me. . . First of all, if you _are_ pregnant, we'll pray that they baby is unharmed by the birth control pills or anything else, for that matter and, if there is a problem, we'll deal with it. Secondly, don't worry about your sister. She loves you and will be thrilled for you and Steve. Caroline's made of sterner stuff than you might think and she'll adjust. And as for those nightmares, we're going to work through them. I wasn't there for you when you were at the Naval Academy, but I'm going to be here for you this time. Now, you go upstairs, take a shower, and get dressed. I'll have an omelet ready when you come back down and you and Steve can go to the base as soon as you've eaten."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Sam. Now go on. The sooner you two know what you're dealing with, the better."

(Steve starts to follow his wife upstairs, but Libby lays a restraining hand on his arm to stop him.)

"Give her some space, Steve. She's experiencing a lot of conflicting emotions right now, and she needs a few minutes to sort everything out. So do you. Sit down; you look like you're about to kiss the floor the hard way."

"Everything Sam said is true, Libby. Any or all of those things could happen, and she's scared."

"You're _both_ scared, Steve. Stop denying it."

"I'm not denying it, Libby. You're damned right I'm scared. What if Sam _is_ pregnant and the baby _has_ been affected in some way by the drugs in her system?"

"Then you'll both do what you have to do to take care of your child. Every baby is a gift from God, dear, whether they're born with all ten fingers and toes or not."

"I'm with you, Libby, and I'm pretty sure Sam is, too, I just. . . . I just wouldn't want Sam to blame herself if there was some kind of . . problem."

(Mike, who brought Emily back inside when Sam headed upstairs and put her in her highchair, looks up from the eggs he's giving to Emily and adds his two cents' worth.)

"I believe Sam's smarter than that, Steve, and, for the record, as long as the two of you have each other, there's nothing you can't deal with, nothing you can't do together. But, we're putting the cart before the horse here; we don't even know for sure if Sam is pregnant, so let's wait until we do to start worrying, shall we?"

(Sam comes downstairs a few minutes later, looking a little pale and very conflicted, and the first thing Steve does is pull her into his arms and give her a sweet kiss.)

"This is going to be okay, Sam. Whether you're pregnant or not, it's going to be okay."

"I know. You ready?"

"Yeah. Your mom and dad are going to stay here with Baby Girl while we're gone, so, if you want to go somewhere and talk after we leave the base, we can. 'Kay?"

(Sam and Steve both take the time to hug and kiss their daughter before they leave and Libby makes sure they both get a hug and kiss from her, as well. As she watches them walk out of the house and toward Steve's truck, hand in hand, she feels a peaceful calm descending. Sam and Steve are the last two people on Earth she has to worry about and she knows it. There is no doubt in her mind that, whatever the outcome of Sam's pregnancy test, they will be just fine. Turning toward Emily's high chair, Libby smiles as she watches Mike playing "airplane" with a fork full of scrambled eggs. . .

Steve holds Sam's hand as they drive to the base and hopes she can feel the loving support he's silently offering to her.)

"You know, Sam, you weren't sick when you were pregnant with Emily."

"I know, but each pregnancy changes a woman, Steve, and it's possible to have some symptoms of pregnancy with one child and not another and vice versa. Besides, I'm late."

"How late?"

"A few days, but I'm still late."

"Okay, still doesn't mean anything. You said yourself that you were so stressed out over what was going on with Caroline that you missed a couple of pills, so maybe the symptoms you're having are being caused by stress."

"Maybe. Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"If I am pregnant, . ."

"If you are pregnant, Beautiful, we'll celebrate having a new addition to the family and we'll welcome this baby with open arms; no matter what."

"I love you."

"Right back at 'ya, Sam."

(Once they reach the base hospital, they head straight up to the OB/GYN Clinic and then wait in one of the examination rooms for the results of Sam's pregnancy test. They sit, side by side, in the two chairs in the room holding hands and Steve slips an arm around Sam's shoulders and pulls her close, kissing the top of her head and offering her a reassuring smile. Finally, Lt. Cmdr. Denning knocks on the door and steps into the room with a solemn expression on his face. Both Sam and Steve look up expectantly, and Steve's grip on Sam's hand tightens.)


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 4, 2012**

(Half an hour later, Sam and Steve are sitting on a deserted section of beach not far from their house looking out at the waves as they wash up on the shore. They are sitting right next to each other, though they are not touching at the moment, and both are lost in thought. They've been sitting here like this ever since Lt. Cmdr. Denning gave them the results of Sam's pregnancy test, talked with them for a few minutes, and then left them to see other patients. Finally, Steve looks over at Sam.)

"How 'ya doin', Beautiful?"

"I don't know, Steve. I'm not sure how I feel right now. You?"

"Right there with you, Sam."

"This is hard. I'm so mixed up right now I don't know which way is up."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I do know that I love you, Sam, and we _will_ get through this; all of it."

"Steve, I want to talk with Capt. Stewart. I never . . . I never sat down and talked with anyone when my parents died, and I think. . . I think it's time I did; especially now."

"I think that's a good idea, Sam. You've carried all that pain and anger and grief inside you for a long time. It's time you faced it head-on."

"Yeah, me, too. Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"I can't do this by myself."

"You don't have to, Sweetheart. I'm here; I'll always be here for you, Sam."

"I know."

(Emily is putting both her grandparents through their paces with no mercy whatsoever. She was not at all pleased when her Mommy and Daddy both gave her a hug and kiss and headed out the door, and, even if she does adore "Gan-ma" and "Gan-pa", they are most definitely _not _Mommy and Daddy. Mike has run out of ideas to entertain the little girl and even calm, unflappable Libby is getting a little frustrated. Emily is definitely in a temper and it seems that nothing and no one is going to bring her out of it except her parents. Both Libby and Mike look relieved when the doorbell rings because any distraction is most welcomed at the moment. Mike goes to the door and returns moments later with Grace, Caroline, and Danny in tow. As soon as Caroline spies her niece, her eyes tear up and she goes straight to her mother and takes Emily into her arms hugging her tightly and burying her face in the little girl's long, dark, silky hair.)

"Hello, Emily. Aunt Caroline has missed you, Sweetie."

"Aunt Caralin! Love you!"

(And, of course, Emily's words only make Caroline's tears start sliding down her beautiful face. She quickly wipes them away, however, and gives both her parents a kiss before sitting down at the table with the baby in her arms. Grace, who has already kissed her grandparents and is currently sitting on Mike's lap, smiles at the baby and starts making silly faces and noises to amuse her little cousin. Danny, looking better than he has since the accident, pours himself a cup of coffee and sits in the chair across the table from Caroline.)

"Where's Sam and Steve? I noticed his truck is gone."

"Um, they had a couple of errands to run this morning so Mike and I volunteered to stay with Emily. Would you all like some breakfast? I can make omelets in no time and, Grace, I made chocolate chip pancakes for Emily and there's still some batter left. Want some?"

"Sure, Grandma, I love your chocolate chip pancakes!"

"Okay, then. Caroline? Danny?"

"Omelets sound great, Mom. Grace wanted to hurry up and get over here, so we just loaded up and came. Thought we could talk Sam and Steve into going out for breakfast, but looks like we're a little late."

"Omelets, it is. How are you feeling this morning, dear?"

"I feel great, Mom. It's a little weird knowing that I missed two months of my life, but . . . I'm okay. I'm still not a hundred percent, and I have some work ahead of me, but I'm okay."

"Want Unka Danny!"

"You do? Well, all right then, Kiddo, go see your Uncle Danny."

(And Caroline laughingly hands Emily over to her husband and watches as he expertly sits the baby on his lap and has a conversation with her. A twinge of pain shoots through Caroline as she thinks about how good Danny would have been with Gabe, but she is determined to keep a positive attitude and quickly banishes the thought. Libby places a plate of chocolate pancakes in front of Grace, who has moved to a chair of her own, and the little girl looks over at Emily and begins to give her instructions on how to properly eat pancakes much to the amusement of all the adults, but Emily is paying very close attention. Mike excuses himself for a moment and heads toward the front of the house. Pulling his cellular phone from his pocket, he hits the speed dial for Steve and waits.)

"Mike."

"Wanted to give you a 'heads up', Steve. Caroline, Danny, and Grace are here at your house. Didn't want you and Sam walking in here unprepared."

"Thanks. We'll be home in a little while. . . . Your Dad says Caroline, Danny, and Grace are at our house. You up for this, Sam?"

"Yeah. You?"

"I'm good as long as you are."

(Ten minutes later, Sam and Steve walk into their kitchen and Sam heads straight for her sister and the two young women hug each other. Steve quietly moves to lean against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. Danny immediately picks up on the fact that there's some tension in the air, but doesn't say a word. Mike catches Steve's eye and sends him a look which asks a question and Danny doesn't miss that, either. He and Caroline and Grace have walked into something at the McGarrett's. The question is, what.)


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 4, 2012**

(Libby is well aware of the tension in the room and decides to do her best to diffuse it before Caroline catches on. The fact that Danny realizes something's up hasn't escaped her notice and the last thing she wants is to make either Sam or Caroline uncomfortable.)

"I've got an idea. Since it's Saturday and since Caroline hasn't been out in a while, why don't we ladies go out and do a little shopping? I'm sure your father and Steve and Danny can find a game on television they'd like to watch and we can have some Mother/Daughter/Granddaughter time. What do you think?"

"I think that's a splendid idea, Libby! The boys and I haven't had a chance to argue football or baseball or basketball in a while. You girls go right ahead and go shopping; we'll be just fine."

"Good! All right, then, shopping and lunch, it is. Just let me straighten up the kitchen and we'll head out."

"You girls go ahead. We'll take care of the kitchen, Libby. Between the three of us, we'll have it cleaned up in no time."

"Thank you, Mike. Well, what are you girls waiting for? Your father and the boys are going to clean up the kitchen, so we're good to go. I think we'll start at that store Grace likes so much. I believe they have a pair of those jeans you wanted, dear."

(And Libby and Grace are heading toward the front door with Sam and Caroline, who has taken Emily from Danny, looking at each other like deer caught in headlights and scrambling to find their purses and Emily's diaper bag and follow their mother out of the house. Seconds later, the three men hear Libby's SUV start up and pull out of the driveway, and Mike stands up and grabs two plates off the table.)

"All right, you two, we promised Libby we'd take care of this mess, so let's get to it."

"Hold up there, Mike. _You_ promised Libby we'd take care of the kitchen. Steve and I didn't say a word. Besides, you two need to tell me what's going on, and don't say 'nothing' because I know better. Just where did you and Sam go this morning, Steve?"

(Steve and Mike exchange concerned looks, and Steve sighs heavily and straightens up from the counter to his full height and faces his brother-in-law after Mike gives him an almost imperceptible nod.)

"We went to the base, Danny; to the hospital. We went there to have a pregnancy test done. Sam had a rough night and we had reason to believe she might be pregnant. I called Libby and Mike at 0600 this morning and asked them to come over here because . . . Because Sam was sick and hurting, and I felt pretty damned helpless, and I needed their help."

(Danny's expression changes from suspicious to understanding and, as he's just spent two months in emotional and mental Hell because he couldn't help _his_ wife, he well understands where Steve's coming from. Steve and Mike are both a little surprised that there is no sign of anger or resentment or grief in Danny's expression at the news that Sam might be pregnant, but they are both relieved.)

"You all were worried that Sam's pregnancy would upset Caroline; upset both of us."

"Yeah, Danny, we were. Libby said Caroline was tougher than we thought and she would be thrilled for us, but . . ."

"Libby's right, Steve. . . So, _is_ Sam pregnant?"

"No, the pregnancy test was negative. Lt. Cmdr. Denning told us he thinks that Sam's nightmares and her throwing up half the night were the result of all the stress she's been under the past couple of months; especially after she talked Caroline through her parents' death yesterday. He said he's fairly certain everything's just caught up to her and she had to get it out of her system somehow."

"Is Sam okay? Are _you_ okay, Son?"

"I'm not sure what either one of us is feeling right now, Mike, but we will be okay. Sam told me a little while ago that she wants to talk with Capt. Stewart about her nightmares, and I think it's a good idea. She's kept her feelings locked up since it happened."

"Libby and I should have insisted that she see a therapist when it all happened, but Sam was so determined to go back to school, to get back into her regular routine. . . That she's having nightmares now, that she can't move past this, . . . It's out fault."

"No, Mike, it isn't. Sam can be pretty hardheaded when she wants to be and nothing you or Libby could have said or done could have convinced her to talk about how she really felt if she was determined to keep it to herself."

"Anne and Jonathan Murdock were the best friends Libby and I had; Libby and Anne were particularly close, and their deaths shook both of us to the core. We were trying our best to take care of Sam and . . . I guess that we were blind to the fact that we should have insisted Sam talk with someone about what happened. At the time, I was furious with that damned NCIS Agent who insisted Sam identify her parents' bodies even though Libby had already done so, and I was also furious that the man who had caused the accident was walking around, scot-free, while Anne and Jonathan were gone forever. There were well-known, high-powered military and political figures in and out of our house before and during the funerals and, because of Jonathan's position with the Joint Chiefs and the fact that the Vice-President of the United States was a personal friend, the media was camped out on our front lawn. We were all a little overwhelmed by it all, and Libby and I wanted to protect Sam, to shield her from those damned reporters who tried to shove cameras and microphones in our faces every time the front door opened. The Vice-President even went so far as to assign a team of Secret Service agents to us the day of the funeral so that we could have some semblance of privacy in which to grieve. Because of all the publicity, Sam wanted to return to the Naval Academy right after the funeral, and, at the time, Libby and I agreed. We felt that the girls would be safe from the media once they were back on campus. We never once stopped to think about the fact that Sam was internalizing everything."

"You did what you thought was best for her, Mike."

"But it wasn't enough! Damn it, we should have known better!"

"It's going to be okay, Mike. Sam's going to talk to Capt. Stewart and work through this."

"Still. . ."

"Mike, you need to stop blaming yourself for something that was not your fault and focus on helping Sam now. This is going to be painful for her, and the best thing we can do for her now is be there for her when she's hurting."

"I am so thankful that Sam has you, Steve. You're a good man, Son, and your Sam's match in every way. Glad you didn't let her push you away,"

"There was absolutely no chance of that happening, Mike. I was totally and completely in love with her the moment I first laid eyes on her."


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 5, 2012**

(Libby and Grace have carried on a running conversation about the jeans Grace has been wanting and what's going on at school while Sam and Caroline, with Emily in her car seat between them, listen quietly. Caroline catches Sam's eye at one point during the conversation and both young women roll their eyes when Grace makes a comment about boys being "totally gross". They both know it won't be too long before Grace is going to change her mind and then life's going to get a lot more complicated. As soon as Libby has parked, she and Grace are moving to the back of her SUV and have Emily's stroller out and ready by the time Sam and Caroline join them. After Sam has placed her daughter in the stroller and buckled her in, Libby, pushing the stroller, and Grace head off in search of Grace's jeans, leaving Sam and Caroline on their own. They follow their mother and Grace at a more leisurely pace, and, after Caroline shouts to her mother that they're going to walk around the Mall and Libby waves them off, they head in the opposite direction. They window shop for a little while until they come across a lingerie store and Caroline grabs Sam by the arm and practically yanks her inside.)

"Hey!"

"Come on, Sam, I've been out of it for two months; I need something that's going to make Danny's eyes pop out!"

"Trust me, Caroline; you do _not_ need anything from here. You'll have no problem getting his attention."

"Yeah, well, it never hurts to have a little extra ammunition in one's arsenal. . Hey, while we're here, why don't you get a little something for Steve?"

"A little something for Steve?"

"Wait, I forgot. You guys were rabbits in another life; never mind."

"Yep, you're back to normal."

(Twenty minutes later, the two leave the store with a couple of bags and giggling like teenagers. Libby and Grace, carrying some bags of their own, see the two and Libby calls out to them. They meet up in front of the store and Libby gives both her daughters a questioning look which causes them to start giggling again.)

"I'm glad you girls are having a good time. Why don't you take Grace and Emily to that chocolate shop and I'll join you in a few minutes?"

"Aren't you coming, Grandma?"

"Me, miss chocolate? Never! I'll be right there, Grace. I just have to pick something up first. Go on with your Mom and Aunt Sam."

(And Grace dutifully does as Libby asks and pushes Emily's stroller in front of Sam and Caroline. Libby's daughters, however, are not fooled and they turn just in time to catch Libby slipping into the lingerie store which sets them both off in another fit of giggles. A few minutes later, Libby joins them with a bag of her own from the lingerie store and is on the receiving end of questionable looks from her daughters. She completely ignores them both and she and Grace proceed to select several different kinds of chocolate candy. Caroline decides that she and Grace need to stop in at an infants and children's store a couple of shops down from the candy store, and they take of, hand in hand, while Sam and Libby finish paying for their chocolate. Libby couldn't be happier. There has been no opportunity for her to talk to Sam and find out the results of the pregnancy test. As they slowly walk in the same direction Caroline and Grace took, Libby veers toward a bench and sits down. When Sam joins her and Libby finally has a moment to take a good look at her daughter, the stress and worry are apparent in Sam's face.)

"What did you find out, Sam?"

"I'm not pregnant. Lt. Cmdr. Denning thinks that the stress of everything that's been going on the last couple of months coupled with talking Caroline through everything is what caused the nightmares and made me sick. He said it was my body's way of coping.

"Are you all right?"

"I don't know, Mom. The dream I had last night was so sharp, so clearly defined, so . . Real. I saw their bodies, broken and bloody and gray, like it happened yesterday. I _felt_ the pain all over again."

"Oh, Sam, Sweetheart, I would give anything if I could spare you this! If I could get my hands on that stupid man who made you identify Anne and Jonathan, I would cheerfully strangle him!"

"It is what it is, Mom. I desperately want to move past this, but I can't and that's what scares me. I've decided to talk to Capt. Stewart."

"I think that's a good idea, Sam. We should have arranged for you to talk with someone when it happened."

"I didn't _want _to talk with anyone then. All I wanted to do was go back to school, go back to regimented routine of the Academy where I didn't have to think about it."

"And we were foolish enough to let you. You threw yourself into your studies and then graduated with honors and received your commission and went straight to Pensacola to flight school, and. . . You've never really talked about it until recently, Sam. You locked all your anger and pain and grief away somewhere deep inside of you right after the funeral. I am so sorry, Sweetheart; this is all our fault."

"No, Mom, please don't think that! You were in pain, too. You had just lost your best friend!"

"And my best friend's child had just lost both her parents! Mike and I should have realized that you needed to talk with someone."

"Mom."

"I let you go back to the Academy without even trying to talk with you about what happened. You were only seventeen years old, Sam, you were a _child_!"

"I'm not a child now, Mom. I'm a grown woman with a child of my own. I _cannot_ allow this to take over my life!"

(But before Libby can respond, Grace comes running up giggling; apparently, having won a race with Caroline. The little girl is totally oblivious to what she's just interrupted and Sam smiles and hugs Grace while taunting Caroline for losing. Libby watches all this and her heart nearly stops because the truth hits her squarely between the eyes. She begins to tremble, not very overtly at all, but she is suddenly very frightened and desperately needs to get them all back to Sam's and Steve's. Although her stomach is roiling, she pastes a smile on her face and suggests that they go back to the McGarrett's and see if the guys want to join them for lunch. Sam, Caroline, and Grace all agree and they are soon on their way. Although the girls keep up a steady chatter, Libby is unusually quiet and she breathes a sigh of relief when they pull into Sam's and Steve's driveway. The girls grab the packages and Emily and head into the house, but Libby hits the speed dial for Mike and it seems like an eternity before he answers.)

"Libby? Aren't you coming inside?"

"I need you to come out to the car, Mike. Right now, and bring Steve with you!"


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 6, 2012**

(Libby is still sitting in her SUV when Steve and Mike appear. Mike takes one look at his wife's pale face and immediately becomes concerned."

"Libby, what on Earth is wrong?"

"I finally managed to get a few minutes alone with Sam and she told me her pregnancy test was negative, that the doctor thought what happened last night was a result of the stress she's been under recently, but I'm not so sure. She said that she desperately wanted to move past all this but couldn't and that it scared her. She told me she had decided to talk with Capt. Stewart."

"She told me that this morning after we left the hospital, Libby. We agreed that it was a good idea."

(Libby looks directly at Steve as soon as he makes his this comment and something in her expression gives him pause.)

"Ask her if she _still_ intends to talk to him, Steve."

(Both Steve and Mike hear the thread of concern in Libby's voice and they exchange uneasy looks.)

"What are you getting at, Libby?"

"One minute Sam was opening up, she was telling me she thought it was time to talk to a therapist about Anne's and Jonathan's deaths, and the next . . . It was as if she was two different people. I literally watched her change right in front of me, and that's when it hit me . . . Michael, I want you to think very carefully. Have you, from the point in time when you walked in the house the day after Anne and Jonathan were killed up until this very moment, _ever_ seen Sam really cry over their deaths? Do you _ever_ remember one, single conversation either of us have ever had with her when we discussed their deaths in detail? Do you remember Sam _ever_ going to their graves or saying that she did? . . Steve, has Sam _ever_ talked with you about Anne's and Jonathan's deaths in any detail?"

(The silence stretches on as both men do as Libby asked and _really_ think about the questions she posed. Their expressions change as they realize that the answer to every one of Libby's questions is a definite 'no', and they are both beginning to see where she's going with her line of reasoning.)

"Sam is, and has been, in denial about Anne's and Jonathan's deaths all these years, and I think this is why she's having the nightmares again. Samantha has _never_ allowed herself to truly grieve for her parents, she's never talked about them, she's never visited their graves, she's had _no closure_. If I'm right, Steve, she's going to tell you that she's changed her mind; that she doesn't want, doesn't _need_ to talk with Capt. Stewart or anyone else. She's going to say that she's fine; that it was nothing more than stress. She's wrong, Steve. Sam needs to face this; not run from it, and it's going to be up to you to make her understand that. She needs you, Son, more than she's ever needed you before. Mike and I will be right here with both of you. This isn't going to be easy on any of us, especially you and Sam, but that sweet child will never have a moment's peace until she comes to terms with her parents' deaths."

(Steve is completely struck dumb and can only stare at his mother-in-law in shock. He realizes, however that what Libby is saying may have some merit because she's right; Sam only gave him the very barest of details about the deaths of her biological parents, they've never discussed them, he's never been to their graves at Arlington and, as far as he knows, Sam's never been there, either. Turning away from Libby and Mike and walking about four feet, Steve stares off into the distance for a few minutes before running his hand through his hair in frustration and turning back to them with his hands on his hips.)

"I need to talk to Sam. Will you two stay here with Emily for a while?"

"Of course, we will, Steve, but do you think now is the best time to do this? I mean, it is Saturday and Sam seems to be doing reasonably well for the moment. Besides, I seriously doubt you'll be able to speak with Capt. Stewart today. Are you sure you don't want to wait until Monday?"

"I'm not sure of anything right now, Mike. I don't want Sam to have to go through any more nightmares, but I also don't want to push her into anything she's not ready for. If you're right, Libby, this is going to be very hard on Sam; she's been suppressing a lot of strong emotions for a very long time."

"Yes, but she's a strong person, Steve, and she has you and Emily."

"And you and Mike. Sam has a lot of people who love her."

"Yes, she does, and we'll all help her get through this."

(The object of their discussion walks through the front door and out to Libby's SUV with a genuine expression of concern on her beautiful face.)

"Everything okay out here?"

"Just fine, dear. Have you girls decided where you want to have lunch?"

"Actually, Mom, we thought we'd let you pick the restaurant."

"Why don't we let Caroline decide? After all, it's been a while since she's had the chance to go out to eat. Let's go inside and see where she wants to go."

(And Libby links her arm with Sam's and the two women head inside. Mike turns toward Steve to find a worried frown on his son-in-law's face and places a fatherly hand on the younger man's shoulder as they slowly follow their wives.)

"We'll get through this, Son, and Sam will be fine."

"I hope so, Mike; I really hope so."


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 14, 2012**

(Caroline, as it turns out, decides to defer to Grace in the matter of deciding where they're all going to have lunch saying she's just so glad to have her life back that she doesn't really care where they eat as long as they go somewhere where they can enjoy themselves. Grace immediately speaks up and declares that she would like to go to her favorite fast food restaurant and Caroline laughingly agrees as Steve, Danny, and Mike all groan and make faces. Libby, of course, immediately rushes to her granddaughter's defense and sends glares in the direction of her husband and two sons-on-law reminding them all just exactly who is really in charge. Sam, cuddling Emily in her arms, is looking at everyone except Caroline and Grace with a slight frown on her beautiful face. Finding her husband and her parents talking out in the driveway earlier was a bit unusual, and she doesn't quite know what to make of it just yet. Mike picks up on that immediately and quickly throws out a comment to try to keep Sam from thinking too hard and too long as he takes the baby and gives her a kiss which she returns with a sweet smile on her little face.)

"Looks like you ladies had a very successful shopping trip based on the number of bags you girls brought in. Find anything interesting?"

"Mom and Aunt Sam went shopping for Danno and Uncle Steve while Grandma and I were getting my jeans and then Grandma went shopping for you, Grandpa, while the rest of us went to the chocolate shop."

"Yeah? What'd you get me, Gorgeous?"

"Uh, just . . . A little something, Danny."

"Sam?"

(And Sam, her mind completely off what the conference in the driveway was all about, sends Steve a look that he understands perfectly and replies to his question in flawless Russian; a language she knows her husband speaks fluently. What she has forgotten is that her _father_ also speaks Russian fluently and while she and Steve are exchanging rather heated looks, Mike nearly spits the sip of coffee he had just taken when Sam made her comment. Libby, Caroline, and Danny, although they don't speak Russian quickly get the gist of Sam's comment but Gracie is the one who "ices the cake.")

"Aren't you going to show Uncle Steve what you got him, Aunt Sam?"

(And her now furiously blushing Aunt Sam grabs her niece's hand and heads toward the door with a grinning Steve right behind her.)

"I'll show him later, Gracie. Let's go eat before the lunchtime crowd shows up and we have to wait forever before we get our food."

(And Caroline, who certainly is pretty much back to normal, just can't let it go.)

"Oh, yeah, Bugs and Honey Bunny indeed."

"Who's that, Mom?"

"What I'm going to start calling your Aunt Sam and Uncle Steve, Grace."

"Why?"

"Cause Honey Bunny is Bugs Bunny's girlfriend, Grace."

"But they're rabbits, Mom."

"Exactly."

"O-kay, it's definitely time for us to go. Who are you going to ride with, Monkey?"

(But Grace decides that she's going to stick very close to her mom since it's been such a long time since she's been able to spend any time with her and she, Caroline, and Danny get into the Camaro while Steve, devil that he is, grabs Sam's hand and heads straight to Libby's SUV, grinning broadly at her while they wait for Libby and Mike, who's carrying Emily, to join them. Once they're on the highway following Danny, Libby, trying very hard to keep a straight face, utters a calm, "I don't even want to know, Samantha" which causes Sam to blush that much more and Steve and Mike to laugh outright. As luck would have it, they arrive at Gracie's favorite restaurant and get their orders in just before the lunch crowd show up. Caroline decides that she wants to eat outside and enjoy the sunshine, and she, Sam, Grace, and Libby head outside to find a table while the guys wait for their orders. Steve and Mike take the opportunity to give Danny the short version of their conversation with Libby and Steve adds a comment of his own.)

"Sam's behavior just before we left the house pretty much confirms Libby's suspicions. It couldn't have been more than thirty minutes since Sam and Libby were involved in a fairly serious discussion about Sam talking with Capt. Stewart and then she's flirting with me in front of all of you; like she's two different people in the same body."

"Libby did an amazing job of 'playing along', but she's worried."

"She's not the only one, Mike."

"You know, Steve, now that I really think about it, this denial, or whatever it is that's going on with Sam, could explain a lot of things; the way she was always driven to make excellent grades at the Academy, making sure she was at the top of her class at flight school, taking on extra duty assignments, . . the way she ran from you all those years."

"Yeah, Mike, that thought crossed my mind, too. It's almost like Sam has never really allowed herself to have any time to, I don't know, spare a thought for her parents' deaths?"

"Yes, but you didn't let her run from you, Steve, and, now that the two of you have Emily, it's even more important that Sam come to terms with what happened to Anne and Jonathan, for all your sakes."

"I know that, Mike. I'm just not looking forward to what Sam's going to have to go through before she can put this behind her."

"I know you're not, Son, but it's got to be done. You may have to move Heaven and Earth to do it, but Sam needs to talk with Capt. Stewart and the sooner that happens the better."


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 16, 2012**

**A/N: Just wanted to let you all know that Caroline's and Danny's part of this story is NOT over as they still have some issues to be resolved. Those of you who know my writing style know that I throw several plot lines into most of my stories and this one is no exception. Please keep those suggestions coming; I'm doing my best to incorporate as many of them into this story as possible and hope I'm doing them justice. If not, please send me a p/m and let me know. Thank you all so very much for reading and reviewing my work; I truly appreciate all of you and consider myself very fortunate to have such dedicated and loyal readers! Michelle**

(For the remainder of the day, everyone seems to be in a relaxed mood for the first time in months, Caroline in particular. Grace, as usual, keeps them all on their toes. After lunch, they return to the McGarrett's and break out their swimsuits so they can head down to the beach behind Sam's and Steve's house and spend the day playing in the water. Watching Sam and Steve laughing as they play in the surf with Emily, Caroline experiences a moment or two of pain, but she has promised herself that she's going to do her best to stay positive so that she and Danny can work through their grief over the loss of their son. By the time they've all gone back up to the house, showered off and changed, Libby decides that, all things considered, the day has turned out much better than she expected. Caroline and Grace are sitting on the sofa talking quietly when Danny spots a bag from the infants and children's store the two visited just before they left the mall earlier in the day. Both his wife and daughter are very aware of the fact that he stops and is completely still for a few moments, and they stand up and, hand in hand, walk over to where he is standing. Ever so gently, Caroline touches his arm to get his attention and Grace reaches for the bag at the same time. Sam and Steve and Libby and Mike have been talking about how quickly Emily is learning to swim, but Steve notices what's happening a few feet away and their conversation comes to a halt when they follow the direction of his gaze.)

"Mom and I went shopping for Gabe, too, Danno. Since neither one of us ever got to see him, we thought we'd get something special, just for him from the two of us, and we could take it to him. Can we, Danno? Please?"

(Danny's vision starts to blur as he looks first at Caroline and then down at Grace. In her hands, the little girl is holding a stuffed angel. Danny quickly drops to the sofa and Caroline drops down beside him as he hugs his daughter tightly and then puts one arm around his wife. Surprisingly, Caroline is not crying although there are unshed tears in her eyes as she, too, slips an arm around Grace and the other around her husband and adds her voice to Grace's.)

"Grace told me you put Gus . . In the casket with Gabe, Danny. She picked this out and we thought the three of us could take it to the cemetery this afternoon."

"Yes. We can absolutely do that, and . . Grace? You're a very special young lady and Danno loves you very much."

"I love you, too, Danno."

"Okay, then, let's go visit Gabe and then we can stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things and I'm going to make my homemade lasagna tonight, Grace; just for you."

(And a great, big grin spreads across Grace's little face because Caroline's lasagna is one of her all-time favorite things. Quickly bouncing around the room to give her aunt and uncle, her cousin, and her grandparents hugs and kisses, Grace helps Caroline gather up their things and they are ready to go. Danny has pulled himself together and he and Caroline also get hugs before they head out the door. Libby, moved to tears by what just happened, gently takes Emily from Steve and hugs the little girl tightly as she walks over to sit on the sofa and sits down to spend time with one grandchild while remembering the loss of another. Sam invites Libby and Mike to stay for dinner, but Libby quickly declines saying that she's tired after the enjoyable, but long day they've all had and she and Mike soon take their leave. After they've eaten and are waiting for one of Emily's favorite DVDs to load as they sit on the sofa with Emily in her Daddy's lap, Sam sends Steve a look that makes him uneasy. Sam doesn't say anything, though, until Emily has gone to sleep lying on her Daddy's chest and Steve has carried their daughter upstairs and put her to bed. When he turns to go back into his and Sam's bedroom, his unease increases considerably because Sam is standing at the foot of their bed with her arms crossed in front of her and the expression on her face is one that puts Steve on immediate alert. Sam's quietly spoken question only confirms his suspicion that she is thinking about finding him and her parents in their driveway after the girls got back from their shopping trip earlier in the day and he starts getting a really bad feeling.)

"What were you and my parents talking about this morning out in the driveway, Steve?"

"We're all worried about you, Sam."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. The three of you were talking about me _behind my back_. We've all been under a lot of stress lately, Steve, and I had a bad dream."

"It's more than that, Sam, and you know it."

"My sister's come back from the oblivion she lived in for two months, I've had my little meltdown after my nightmare, things are getting back to normal; I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Sam!"

"Of course, I am, Steve."

"Sam, both your mother and I have noticed that, emotionally, you seem to be going from one extreme to the other in the space of a few minutes; almost like you're two different people. You are not fine! You told me you thought it was time you talked to someone about your parents' deaths and I think you need to call Capt. Stewart first thing Monday morning and make an appointment."

"I don't need to talk to Capt. Stewart, Steve, everything is fine now that Caroline's snapped out of whatever it was that had a hold of her."

"No, Sam, everything is _not_ fine and you _do_ need to talk to Capt. Stewart. Baby, please, just talk to him. If you won't do it for yourself or for me, do it for Emily."


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 17, 2012**

(Libby and Mike have just gone upstairs to bed when Libby's cellular phone rings and Steve's name and number pop up on her caller i.d. Glancing at Mike with a slight frown on her face, Libby answers the call.)

"Steve? Is everything all right?"

"Sam did exactly what you said she would, Libby. She told me she didn't need to talk to Capt. Stewart or anyone else about her parent's deaths."

"What happened, Son?"

"She waited until Emily went to sleep and then she asked me what you and Mike and I were talking about out in the driveway this morning. She didn't need to ask me, though, 'cause she already knew; said we were talking about her behind her back. Then she said she'd had her little 'meltdown' and was over it, and everything was fine, _she_ was fine. I told her she _wasn't_ fine and then I asked her to call Capt. Stewart first thing Monday morning; if not for herself or me, for Emily."

"What did Sam say, dear?"

"She just looked at me for a minute, mumbled something about needing to work on some reports, took her laptop, and went downstairs. The woman standing in our bedroom a little while ago was not my wife or your daughter, Libby. I'm beginning to understand just how upset you were this morning because, honestly? . . . I'm pretty upset myself at the moment."

"I'm sure she's angry that we were talking about her out in the driveway this morning; we _were_ doing exactly what she accused her us of, Steve. Maybe once she's gotten over her initial anger and had a chance to sleep on it, she'll realize that we're only concerned because we love her. Sam's always been a reasonable person; I'm sure she'll be more agreeable in the morning."

"I hope so, Libby, because I don't know who Sam is right now and _that_ scares the Hell out of me."

(Sam, furious with her husband and parents, is sitting at the kitchen table attempting to review the reports Lt. Cmdr. Monroe has filed for the past couple of days but she is so upset that she's read the same sentence three tines and _still_ doesn't know what it says. After Caroline and Danny and Grace left, Sam wasn't as distracted as she had been earlier and, after thinking about it for a little while, she finally figured out what Steve, Libby, and Mike were doing out in the driveway after the ladies got back from the mall. The conversation she had with her mother ran through her head and she had no trouble putting two and two together. Stress, that's what caused her to have the nightmare and get sick, and now her husband and her parents are trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill. Realizing that she's not going to get any work done tonight, Sam shuts down her laptop and heads upstairs. Just as she steps into their bedroom, her cellular phone rings and she quickly snags it from her bedside table before it wakes Emily. Steve walks into the bedroom from their bathroom as Sam answers the phone but he doesn't miss the glint of anger in her eyes.)

"Cmdr. McGarrett . . . Fatalities? . . . Thank you, Lieutenant; I'll be there in twenty. . . . I have to go, Steve. An F/16 coming in from San Diego, N.A.S. declared an in-air emergency about five minutes out of Pearl and then crashed hitting a fuel truck in the process. The pilot's dead and the RIO's in critical condition, there were injuries to some of our personnel on the ground, and all Hell's broken loose at the base. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone."

"Go. Just call me when you can, Beautiful."

(After getting dressed, Sam pauses only long enough to step into the nursery and kiss her sleeping baby and then kisses her husband quickly before heading downstairs and out the door. Knowing that the situation at the base is going to take a while to deal with, Steve climbs into bed and turns off the lamp on his bedside table but sleep eludes him and he lies there with his hands behind his head as he replays what Libby told him earlier in the day as well as his conversation with Sam. Something is definitely not right with Sam and it's scaring him. There's not a lot he can do about it, however, if Sam isn't willing to talk with a therapist and it looks like that's not going to happen. Twenty minutes later, Steve is still wide awake so he snags Sam's laptop from their dresser, heads into Emily's room and sits down in the rocker, boots up the computer and logs onto the internet. Five minutes later, he's reading the obituaries for Anne and Jonathan Murdock and a couple of minutes later, he's logged onto the Five-0 secure server and is contacting the Sheriff's Department who worked the accident requesting they email him the case file. Sam's never gone into any detail about what happened to her parents, but, one way or the other, Steve is about to become intimately acquainted with every, single detail of the official reports. He also uses his naval security clearance to access the records department at the naval hospital in Bethesda, Md. and requests copies of the autopsy reports on both of Sam's parents. He then logs onto the website for Arlington National Cemetery and uses the site's search engine to locate the grave sites for the Murdocks and sends the information to the printer in his and Sam's bedroom. Emily begins to whimper in her sleep and Steve quickly sets Sam's laptop on the chest of drawers and checks on the baby. Realizing that Emily needs her diaper changed, Steve quickly scoops his daughter from her bed and takes care of getting her clean and dry in a matter of minutes. Once Emily is back in her baby bed and sleeping peacefully once again, Steve crawls back into the bed he shares with Sam and tries to think of the best way to get her to talk Capt. Stewart as soon as possible. It is quite some time before Steve falls asleep.)


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 17, 2012**

(Because both Caroline and Grace were doing such a good job in keeping it together when they left Sam's and Steve's, Danny can do no less. Although the three of them are quiet as they drive out to the cemetery, there is no tension in the car. When they park, there is just a brief moment when Caroline turns a little pale and hesitates before getting out of the car, but Grace's little hand on her shoulder and, when Caroline turns to look back at the little girl, the love on Grace's sweet face give her the courage to open the door and step out of the Camaro. Grace is right behind her and firmly grips Caroline's hand as they wait for Danny to come around the car. When they reach the grave site, not a one of them moves or speaks for several minutes because Caroline can't and both Danny and Grace know she needs a little time to adjust. Finally, Caroline takes a couple of steps and kneels down so that she can reach out with a shaking hand and touch the granite grave marker of her son. She slowly traces his name and then the inscription which reads, "Though we never knew you, you will live in our hearts and we will love you forever", and a lone tear slowly slides down her face as she bows her head and closes her eyes. Both Danny and Grace join her and Grace gently lays the stuffed angel on top of the marker above Caroline's hand. A few moments later, Caroline raises tear-filled eyes to her husband and her heart clinches at the pain she sees in Danny's expression.)

"Tell me about him, Danny. Tell me about our son."

"He . . He was perfect, Caroline. So tiny, so precious, and, maybe I'm imagining it, but I . . I think he looked like both of us."

"I don't think you're imagining anything; after all, Gabe was our son. . . I'm so very sorry I wasn't there for you, Danny. I'm so very sorry you had to go through losing our son alone."

"I wasn't alone. I had Grace and our family and friends, Caroline. I . . I was afraid that you would . . That you would be angry with me because . . Because I had named our baby and because you weren't at Gabe's funeral."

"Oh, Danny. . ."

"Cmdr. Shelton thought . . ."

"Danny. . You did what you had to do and what the doctor was telling you was best for me at the time."

"I know."

"I wish _I_ could have been here for you, Romeo."

"You're here now, Caroline, and now we can be here for each other."

"Me, too, Danno."

"You, too, Monkey."

(They spend a good bit of time at Gabe's grave and, by the time they leave, both Caroline and Danny are experiencing the pain of their loss but also the first, faint feelings of hope either of them have known in quite some time. . .

Caroline has been working on her homemade lasagna for about ten minutes and Danny is helping when Grace, walks into the kitchen with a solemn expression on her little face.)

"What are we going to do with all of Gabe's stuff?"

"Mom and I have talked about that, Monkey, and we've got an idea."

"But we'd like to know what you think, Grace; after all, Gabe was your brother."

"We thought we'd give Gabe's things to a shelter for battered women and children."

"What's 'battered' mean, Danno?"

"Do you remember your friend Jill from before you moved to Hawaii?"

"Um hmm. Her father hit her and her mother and you arrested him and put him in jail."

"That's right, Monkey; Jill's father 'battered' them. Jill and her mom went to live with her grandparents, but there are a lot of women and children who have husbands and fathers like Jill's and they don't have any where else to go so they go to shelters where people take care of them until they can take care of themselves. They're safe when they go to these shelters because the people who hurt them don't know where they are and they have lots of security there, too."

"But sometimes, Grace, these women and their children have to leave their homes very quickly. Sometimes, they don't even have time to take any of their own clothes, so people in the community have donated money and volunteered their time to build and staff these shelters, and other people donate clothes and furniture for the women and children to use while they're there."

"And that's what you and Danno want to do with Gabe's things."

"Yes, Sweetie, it is, but we want to know what you think about our idea, too."

(Grace looks at both Caroline and Danny for several minutes while she thinks over everything they've told her. Finally, she puts one little arm around Caroline and the other around Danny and smiles up at them both.)

"I think Gabe would like your idea a lot and so do I."

"I'm going to need your help, Grace, because it's going to be very hard for me to do."

"I'll help you, Mom. It's something I can do for you and my brother."

"Thank you, Sweetheart. I'm going to call the shelter on Monday and find out what their procedures are for donations. I'll let you know when I'm ready to start. . To start packing everything, all right?"

(And Grace gives Caroline a hug and kiss and makes sure that she stays close to her Mom for the remainder of the evening. Danny, his emotions running high, watches as Caroline patiently explains everything she is doing to Grace and lets the little girl have some hands-on experience in the kitchen. It's going to take some time but they're all going to get through their grief and they're going to do it together.)


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 17, 2012**

(The sun is just beginning to rise when Sam quietly lets herself in to the house. She is completely exhausted after being up all night with the emergency at the base and, since she didn't get a great deal of sleep the night before and then spent the day with her family, all she wants at the moment is to crawl into bed and sleep for a few hours. Moving quietly up the stairs, she eases into the master bedroom to find Steve asleep and moves into the nursery to check on their daughter. Emily is sleeping like an angel and Sam leans over to gently touch her baby's silky, dark hair and gently kiss her forehead. After the horror of the past several hours, Emily's sweet face is like a healing balm to Sam. Her heart swelling with love for her precious child, Sam has a small smile on her beautiful face when she straightens up. Ten seconds later, however, the smile is gone and has been replaced by a slight frown as her eyes land on her laptop which is sitting on top of Emily's chest of drawers. As tired as she is, Sam distinctly remembers putting her laptop on the dresser the night before when she came upstairs just before she got the call from the base. Taking the two steps necessary to reach her laptop, Sam lifts the top and finds that the computer is on and a strange feeling begins to take hold of her. Checking the search history tells Sam all she needs to know and she grabs her laptop and strides to Steve's side of their bed. Not wanting to wake Emily, Sam keeps her voice down but there is pure, raw anger dripping from her every word.)

"Steve! Steve, wake up!"

"Hey, Beautiful, you just get home?"

"Don't you dare, 'Hey, Beautiful' me! How. Dare. You?"

(Steve's brain finally wakes fully, he instantly sees Sam's laptop in her hands, and realizes that he is completely screwed; especially when he sees the anger in her eyes and, something else; hurt. In a heartbeat Steve is out of the bed and standing in front of his extremely pissed off wife.)

"I dare, Sam, because I love you! Something's not right with you, Sweetheart, and we need to figure out what that something is and do whatever we have to do to fix it!"

"The only thing that's 'not right' with me, Steve, is the fact that you and my parents are obsessed with finding something wrong with me! What the Hell is wrong with all of you?"

"Why haven't you ever told me about your biological parents, Sam?"

"What?"

"You heard me! Other than some very basic information, you've never talked about your biological parents. Hell, I didn't even know their first names until I was shot before we got married. You've never talked about them, never told me what your life was like before you met Caroline. Why is that, Sam? What is it you don't want me to know?"

(But Sam is getting madder by the minute and angrily strides over to the sitting area to put her laptop on the desk in the corner. As soon as she puts it down, her eyes land on the tray of the printer and she stops dead still as she realizes that Steve has printed out a diagram of the location of her biological parents' graves at Arlington. She pales considerably and Steve moves closer.)

"Did they abuse you, Sam? Did your father abuse your mother?"

(Sam whirls around and she slaps Steve hard enough to leave a handprint on his face. They angrily square off with a muscle working furiously in Steve's jaw and Sam glaring daggers, but before either of them can say another word, Emily's cries reach their ears and Sam immediately goes to her child. When she has changed Emily's diaper, Sam brings her back into the bedroom and gently lays her in the middle of the bed while she jerkily takes off her uniform and slips into a nightgown. Steve, several different emotions sweeping through him at the moment, runs a hand through his hair in frustration and turns to face his wife as she slips into the bed and pulls their daughter close; his voice much softer.)

"That was uncalled for, Sam; I'm sorry. You would have told me if . . . Baby, I'm just trying to help you here. Please, Sweetheart, don't shut me out."

"I don't need help, Steve, from you or anyone else. What I need is sleep. I've had a horrible night; I've got a dead pilot and a dead RIO in the morgue at the base hospital, five of my ground crew members injured, and a huge hole in one of my runways. I've been on the phone a good bit of the night with San Diego N.A.S. as well as Washington, and I'm exhausted. I have to be back at the base in six hours to meet with the investigators from San Diego. All I want to do right now is sleep."

(Steve, realizing that Sam truly is exhausted and knowing that she has to go back to the base in a few hours, expels a heavy sigh and speaks very quietly.)

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Will you let me hold you?"

(Sam doesn't say a word but she does gently move Emily and turns on her side. Lifting the covers, Steve slides in the bed and moves as close to Sam as he can get, putting his arm around her slender waist and pulling her close. In spite of her anger, Sam quickly falls asleep feeling safe in Steve's arms and knowing that will protect her no matter what.)


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 18, 2012**

(After Sam has gotten a few hours of much needed sleep, she gets up in time to spend some time with her daughter, eat something and take a shower and get dressed to head back to the base. She is extremely upset that she slapped Steve and remorse is eating her up; especially since Steve _asked_ if he could hold her immediately after she did it. She makes sure that she wastes no time in getting ready and finds Steve down on the floor in their living room playing with Emily when she comes down the stairs. The sight of her big, bad Navy SEAL husband crawling around on the floor with their baby girl crawling all over her Daddy and the sound of Emily's laughter mixed with that of Steve's causes Sam's heart to swell with love and she is filled with shame at her earlier actions. Steve sees her from the corner of his eye and picks Emily up so they can meet Mommy at the door and tell her bye. Seeing the love in Steve's eyes when he moves to stand directly in front of her brings tears to Sam's emerald green eyes.)

"Steve, I . . I'm so sorry I slapped you earlier; there's no excuse for that. Forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Sam. I said some pretty awful things to you and didn't stop to think that you'd been up all night dealing with some awful things. I'm the one who should be asking for your forgiveness. I'm sorry."

"I love you more than my next breath, Steve. You and Emily are my life; I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know how long I'm going to be tied up at the base, but, when I get home, we need to sit down and talk."

"Sounds like a plan, Beautiful."

" 'Kay. I'll call you when I have a better idea of how long I'm going to be at the base. . . Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Are we. . Are we okay?"

"We're good. I love you very much, Sam."

(Steve and Emily walk outside and watch as Sam gets into her Porsche and wave at her until she turns out of the driveway. Kissing his daughter's silky, dark curls, Steve carries her back inside and they settle down on the sofa to channel surf finally settling on an animated movie that captures Emily's attention. Steve's mind is not on the movie but his wife and what's going on with her. Thirty minutes later, he grabs his cellular phone and punches a speed dial.)

"Please don't tell me you're calling because we have a case."

"Well, no, Kono, but would that be a problem?"

"Of course not, and you know it, but Tony and Eric and I are having such a wonderful day and I really don't want to have to interrupt it to go chase bad guys. What's up?"

"An F-16 crashed at the base last night and Sam was at the base until early-thirty this morning and had to go back a little while ago. Not sure what time she's going to be home but I thought I'd surprise her and take her out to dinner. I know it's kind of last minute, but . . Know what? Never mind. Don't want to intrude."

"You're not intruding and, yes, we'd love to have Emily spend the night with us."

"Really? 'Cause, you know, we could take Emily with us."

"Steve, bring Emily over here and take your wife out to dinner. Eric will be thrilled to have his BFF spend the night."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. After everything that's gone on for the past couple of months, and especially the last couple of days, you and Sam deserve a night out; just the two of you."

"Thanks, Kono, I really appreciate it. Listen, I'm not sure what time we'll be dropping Emily off, but I'll call you as soon as I hear from Sam."

(Emily has fallen asleep on her Daddy's chest while watching the movie and Steve carries her upstairs and puts down in her bed and then proceeds to pack an overnight bag for her. Once he's finished that, he heads downstairs to check and see if they have a few essentials for the op he has planned and, finding that they do, heads back upstairs and heads into the master bathroom to take care of a few things in there. He has just finished and is surveying his work with satisfaction when his cellular phone rings.)

"Hey, Beautiful, how's it going?"

"It's getting there. Adm. Henderson and I just got back from the base hospital and it looks like all our personnel are going to be just fine. The two officers from San Diego as part of the joint investigation into the crash arrived right on time and we've gotten quite a bit accomplished. If all goes well, we should be able to start repairs on the damaged runway in a few days. Looks like I'm going to be home around 1900 hours. What's Baby Girl up to?"

"Taking a nap. Think you'll be up for going out to dinner when you get home?"

"Going out to dinner sounds heavenly. Where are you and Emily thinking about going?"

"Emily's spending the night at Kono's and Tony's, Sam. It's just going to be you and me and we can go anywhere you want."

"Really? Just the two of us?"

"Just the two of us, Beautiful. Where would you like to go?"

"Surprise me, Steve. We haven't been out, just the two of us, in forever. . I love you."

"Surprise, it is, and I love you, too, Sam; always and forever."


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 18, 2012**

(Sam walks in the front door at 1902 hours and barely has time to lay her briefcase and cover on a chair in the living room before Emily is barreling toward her at full speed. Bending down to scoop her laughing daughter up into her arms and a hug, Sam laughs in delight when the baby wraps her little arms around her mother's neck and plants a kiss on her cheek. Sam takes a moment to close her eyes, breathe in Emily's sweet baby scent and enjoy the sensation of her baby's silky hair against her cheek, and, when she opens her eyes again, feels a surge of strong, powerful love flow through her when she sees her tall, dark, and extremely sexy husband standing only inches away.)

"Hey."

"Hey. Steve, I. ."

"Hold up, Sam. As soon you and I have changed, we're dropping Emily off and then going out to dinner. We _are_ going to have that talk you mentioned earlier, but we're going to wait until after we've had some 'us' time. 'Kay?"

"Absolutely. I can be ready in ten minutes."

"Okay, then, let's go get dressed. I've already packed Baby Girl's overnight bag so we're good to go once we've changed."

(Sam carries Emily upstairs and quickly double checks the bag Steve packed for the baby while he starts changing. Steve's quick and is already tucking a dress shirt into his pants by the time Sam walks back into their bedroom. Taking Emily from her mother, Steve asks his daughter to pick out a tie for him to wear as Sam laughingly shakes her head and starts to change out of her uniform. Five minutes later, Steve emerges from their walk-in closet with Emily and holding a hangar with one of Sam's little black dresses on it and a deep red silk tie thrown around it. Sam turns from the dresser where she was brushing out her hair and smiles at the two people she loves most.)

"Emily did a good job, Steve; that tie happens to be one of my favorites."

"She also did an excellent job picking out your dress which happens to be one of _my_ favorites. Kid's got good taste."

"Of course, she does; takes after her Daddy and he's a most amazing man."

"Her Mommy's pretty amazing, too; beautiful, smart, sexy . . and the woman I love more than life."

"What did I ever do to deserve you? I am the most blessed woman on the entire planet."

"I'd say we're _both_ blessed, Beautiful."

(And Steve proceeds to kiss Sam ever so sweetly and Emily, not wanting to be left out, tries to kiss both her parents at the same time which has them all laughing. Forty minutes later, Sam and Steve are sitting at their favorite table at La Mer. There is a bottle of Sam's favorite wine chilling beside their table and a beautiful arrangement of peach colored roses and baby's breath surrounds the single white candle in a small hurricane candle holder. Sam is feeling more relaxed than she has in days but is still feeling guilt for the way she behaved with Steve earlier and decides that she really doesn't want to wait to have their talk.)

"Steve, I am so sorry that I slapped you this morning. It doesn't matter what you said to me; I should have _never_ done that, and, if I could take it back, I would."

"Again, Sam, I should have never said what I did to you. Besides, I think what happened is hurting you a lot more than it did me."

"It _is_ hurting me, Steve, because I love you so much! There's no excuse for what I did!"

"Sam, Sweetheart, it's okay. You've had a lot thrown at you lately and you certainly didn't need me interrogating you like a common criminal."

"I wouldn't hurt you for the world, Steve. Do you forgive me?"

"Tell you what, Sam . . How about we forgive each other?"

"Deal."

"Okay. Now, after dinner, Mrs. McGarrett, I was thinking that we could take a romantic stroll on the beach and then I thought we could do something we haven't done in a while."

"Yeah? What?''

"Nope, not gonna tell you. It's a surprise."

(And after a very romantic dinner and walk on the beach near Diamondhead, they return home and Steve tells Sam to wait downstairs so he can make sure her surprise is ready. Puzzled, Sam does what he asks and sits patiently on the sofa. Five minutes later, having left his jacket and tie upstairs, Steve comes back downstairs and grins at Sam as he heads to the kitchen. Thirty seconds later, he comes back into the living room, hands her a bottle of chilled wine and two glasses, sweeps her up into his arms, and heads upstairs. The scent of white gardenias wafts down from the direction of their bedroom and she's beginning to get an idea of what Steve has planned. The moment he steps through the door of their bedroom, a small gasp escapes Sam and she looks around in wonder as he eases his arm from beneath her knees and, once she's standing, takes the wine and glasses from her hands and turns her around to unzip her dress. Sam's eyes take in the many white, gardenia-scented candles sitting around the room providing the only illumination and her heart turns over at the loving gesture. Once Steve has her dress unzipped, he slowly pushes it down and over her hips to puddle at her feet kissing her bare neck and shoulders in the process. Sam's pulse rate kicks up a couple of notches at the touch of his lips on her skin and she can feel him smile as a small shiver passes through her body. Steve's not done, though, and, once he has her clothes off, picks Sam up again and kisses her as he carries her into their bathroom and straight over to the jetted tub which he already has on. A soft sigh escapes Sam as she feels the warm water envelope her in its gentle caress. Opening her eyes, she gasps again when she realizes that there are more candles lighting their bathroom. Steve just shoots her one of his sexy little grins that she loves and steps back into the bedroom only to return a couple of minutes later with the wine bottle in one hand and the glasses in the other and, more importantly, _without_ his clothes. Handing the glasses to Sam, he deftly opens the wine and pours some in both glasses before setting the bottle on the floor and stepping into the tub to sit behind his wife taking one of the glasses in one hand as he pulls her back against his solid chest with the other.)

"I _love_ my surprise, Steve. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Sam, but I'm not through."


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 22, 2012**

(Steve's words send another shiver of desire coursing through Sam and she is sorely tempted to maneuver herself around in the tub so that she is facing her very sexy husband and speed things along, but . . . She knows that Steve McGarrett cannot be rushed so she decides to finish her wine and wait. She doesn't have to wait long. As soon as Sam drinks the last of the wine in her glass, Steve takes it out of her hand and sits both glasses on the floor next to the wine bottle. His hands immediately move to her shoulders and proceed to firmly knead the muscles there and his touch causes Sam's desire to ramp up several notches and she has to bite her lip to keep from rushing things. Steve knows exactly what he's doing to Sam and he has no intention of getting in a hurry. Allowing his hands to slowly slide down her upper arms, Steve gently nips and then licks the sensitive skin where her shoulder and neck meet and Sam nearly jumps. Her hands fly out and grab the front rim of the tub and she gasps loudly before speaking through gritted teeth.)

"Steve!"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"What are you doing?"

"Seducing you, Sam."

"How long do you plan on keeping this up?"

"What's the rush, Sam?"

"_Are you kidding me?"_

"What? You _don't_ like what I'm doing?"

"Steve!"

"Yeah, okay, Sam. You win."

(And so saying, Steve hits the button to stop the jets on the tub, stands up, and sweeps Sam up into his arms all in one smooth motion. Effortlessly, he steps out of the tub and carries her into their bedroom where he lays her on top of the two, large bath towels on top of the bed. Sam nearly screams in frustration when Steve shoots her a sexy, little grin and walks away, but he's back in an instant and holding a bottle of Sam's favorite lotion in his hands. Pouring some into his hand, Steve picks up one of Sam's feet and begins to slowly massage the lotion into her skin. By the time he has rubbed the lotion into every inch of her skin, Sam has reached the point of no return, and she grabs him and pulls his head down to fuse his mouth to hers. Steve is more than happy to cooperate and slides inside of her welcoming warmth as his arms go around her and hers wrap around him. He finds that, somewhat surprisingly, he's just as desperate as Sam is and it isn't long before they both find their release. Steve shifts off of her and pulls her close while dropping soft, sweet kisses all over her face, and Sam is a boneless mass of contentment.)

"I absolutely _love_ your surprises, Steve; you're completely amazing."

"Glad you liked it, Sam, but I'm still not done."

"Oh. My. God. You're killing me, Steve!"

"Sam, I'm not sure you're going to like this next part."

"Well, that doesn't sound good."

"You wanted to talk, Sam; it's time."

"Okay, let's talk. Steve, I know you and my parents think I have a problem, but I swear to you I don't. The last couple of months have been really hard, on _all_ of us, and talking about what happened when my biological parents died triggered the nightmares. I got it out of my system; I'm fine. Why won't all of you believe that?"

"Because you're not yourself, Sam. One minute you're fine and the next. . . Baby, you're going from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in a matter of minutes, and I'm not talking about small changes; I'm talking about pretty damned big ones. Your folks and I are worried about you, Sweetheart. All we're asking you to do is talk to Capt. Stewart. Do it, Sam, please."

(Steve holds his breath as he feels his wife physically tense in his arms and the he prays that he hasn't just created a rift between them that they won't be able to overcome. Finally, Sam expels a heavy sigh and turns so that she can look directly into her husband's eyes.)

"All right, Steve. I'll call his office as soon as I get to the base in the morning and make arrangements to talk with him, _but_ . . . If Capt. Stewart says there's nothing for you to worry about, which he will because there _is_ nothing wrong, you guys stand down."

"Agreed, and Sam? . . Thank you, Beautiful."

"You're welcome, Sailor."

(And it's then that Steve knows he is forgiven because Sam never calls him "Sailor" when she's put out with him. Bending his head to claim her mouth with his, Steve deftly shifts so that he is covering her body and makes love to her again but very slowly and sweetly this time . . .

Following Sam from their house the following morning, he hits the speed dial for his father-in-law as soon as Sam makes the turn to head for the base and he heads toward the Palace. Mike answers on the second ring.)

"Morning, Steve. Everything all right?"

"Yeah, Mike, it is. I got Sam to agree to talk to Capt. Stewart. She's going to call his office as soon as she gets to the base this morning."

"That's . . Good, Son. How'd you get her to agree to talk to him?"

"Sorry, Mike, that's classified."

"Understood. I'm just glad she's going to talk to him."

"Yeah, me, too. One thing, though. . If he says nothing's wrong, I told her we'd stand down."

"Okay, then. Let me know how it goes."


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 23, 2012**

(Surprisingly, things are relatively calm when Sam arrives at the base, thanks to the long hours she and several others put in over the weekend, and Lt. Cmdr. Monroe, bless him, has everything well in hand. The two investigators from San Diego, after examining the wreckage of the downed aircraft, are fairly certain that the crash was the result of a catastrophic engine failure and Senior Chief Charlie Evans is working with them to determine the specific cause. The bodies of both the pilot and RIO have been autopsied at the base hospital and are on their way back to San Diego N.A.S., and the damaged runway is being thoroughly assessed for repairs. After receiving a sitrep from Lt. Cmdr. Monroe and dismissing him with her thanks, Sam looks at her desk phone and finally reaches for the receiver. Expelling a heavy sigh, she dials the number for Capt. Stewart's office. . .

Steve is working on some reports in his office when his cellular phone rings and Sam's name and number pop up.)

"Hey, Beautiful. How're things at the base this morning?"

"We're making progress. Senior Chief Evans and the two investigators from San Diego are in one of the maintenance hangars going over the wreckage with a microscope and there's a crew assessing the damaged runways for repairs. Lt. Cmdr. Monroe has done an amazing job, Steve; all I'm really doing is signing off on paperwork."

"Because you were right in the thick of things all night Saturday and again yesterday, Sam. Did you have a chance to call Capt. Stewart's office?"

"I did; that's why I'm calling you. I gave him the basics and he wants to see you, me, Mom, and Dad at 1400 hours in his office. That a good time for you?"

"Absolutely. Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome, Steve. Now, I have to go check on a couple of things so I'll meet you at Capt. Stewart's office at 1350."

(At 1350 hours, Sam meets her husband and parents in the waiting room outside Capt. Stewart's office at the base hospital but she can't speak to them immediately because she is on the phone with Senior Chief Evans when they arrive. The call lasts several minutes and as soon as she ends the call, they are shown into the Captain's office. Since they've been unable to greet Sam, let alone have a conversation with her, neither Steve nor Libby nor Mike has been able to get a read on her attitude but they head into the psychiatrist's office and take their seats. There are a pair of comfortable –looking sofas which face each other on either side of a functional coffee table and a pair of matching chairs on either end. Sam and Steve sit on one of the sofas and Libby and Mike sit across from them with Capt. Stewart sitting in one of the chairs.)

"When Cmdr. McGarrett called me this morning, she indicated that you all had some concerns in relation to her. I've always found it helpful to get as much first-hand information as possible so that's why I asked all of you here this afternoon. I've spoken briefly the Commander and she has assured me that she will not be angry or upset with any of you for expressing your honest concerns. (He looks straight at Steve.) I'd like to start with you, Cmdr. McGarrett. Tell me what specific concerns you have regarding your wife."

(If either Sam or Capt. Stewart were expecting any hesitation from Steve, they are disappointed because he looks straight at his wife and starts speaking, his eyes never leaving hers.)

"While we've all been under a lot of stress for the past couple of months because of the situation with my sister-in-law, I believe its affected Sam more than she thinks it has; it's brought back nightmares of when her biological parents died, it's made her physically sick, and her emotions are all over the place. I think it's directly related to something that happened when Anne and Jonathan Murdock died; something that Sam either can't or won't tell us about. Sam has _never_ gone into any detail about her parents' accident or her life with them while she was growing up. It's almost like she wants to put all thoughts of her biological parents completely out of her mind."

"Admiral? Mrs. Thrasher?"

"I agree with my son-in-law, Capt. Stewart. Sam really has not been herself lately. A couple of days ago, Sam, Caroline, their daughters and I all went shopping and . . Well, one minute Sam and I were in the middle of a fairly serious discussion and the next minute she changed right before my eyes. It was disconcerting to say the least. And, then, there's the fact that the only time Sam's been to Anne's and Jonathan's graves was the day of their funeral."

"Libby and I should have insisted that Sam talk with a therapist at the time but, because of all the publicity surrounding Anne's and Jonathan's deaths and the reporters who were constantly hounding us, we thought it was best to get the girls back to the Naval Academy as soon as possible; get Sam out of the spotlight. Now, . . Now, we realize that did Sam a grave disservice."

"Cmdr. McGarrett, how do you feel about what your husband and adoptive parents have had to say?"

"I don't think _any_ of us have been acting normally. The accident and Caroline's subsequent medical condition created a lot of stress for everyone, and my OB/GYN even said that the nightmares and nausea and vomiting I experienced were my body's way of reacting to that stress. I don't often talk about my biological parents because doing so hurts deeply, and I'm sure that you can all understand that, as a fighter pilot, I've been stationed on one carrier or another for the majority of my naval career so I've never really been able to visit my parents' graves. I'm married with a child of my own, now, and I love my husband and daughter very much. I know where my biological parents are and I believe they'd want me to devote my time and attention to Steve and Emily instead of going all the way across the country to visit their graves at Arlington. I love my family very much, Capt. Stewart, but they're off-target this time."


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: November 24, 2012**

(Since Caroline is still on leave and Steve told Danny to take whatever time he needed, the Williams' decide to take Grace to school on Monday morning and then spend the day doing whatever they feel like. A Sunday afternoon phone call from Danny to Mike takes care of a surprise for Caroline, and, once they leave Grace's school, Danny heads for the marina. The delight that is evident on Caroline's face when Danny parks the Camaro in one of the spaces reserved for the Thrashers and tells her they're going to take the boat out pleases him no end. Telling Caroline to sit back and relax, Danny expertly maneuvers the sailboat out into open water. Once they've cleared the marina, Caroline jumps right in and starts rigging sails and they're soon flying across the beautiful blue water. When Caroline says she would love to go swimming but doesn't have her suit, Danny shoots her a little grin and tells her to go below and look in the master cabin. A few minutes later, Caroline comes back topside wearing a mint green bikini and gives her husband a serious kiss.)

"Danny Williams, you are absolutely the sweetest man alive!"

"Just now figuring that out, Gorgeous?"

"Stop! What I can't figure out is how you managed to get my swim suit down to the master cabin when we've both been topside since we got on the boat."

"Remember when you and Grace ran to the grocery store yesterday afternoon?"

"Yeah."

"Your dad came by and picked up an overnight bag for us and I asked him to leave your swim suit lying on the bed."

"An overnight bag? Danny, did you just tell me we're going to spend the night out here, just the two of us?"

"I did."

"Oh. My. God! I love you so much, Danny."

"Yeah, I know. Love you, too. Mike also said he was going to stock the galley for us and said to stay out as long as we liked. . . I thought we needed some time, just you and me, away from everybody and everything."

"Yeah, Romeo, we do."

"Hey, I didn't mean to put a damper on things, Caroline. You're not to, you know, cry or anything, are you?"

"No, Danny, I'm not; at least, not right now. It's kind of weird losing two months of your life. The last thing I remember until a couple of days ago is waking up in S.I.C.U. and you telling me I'd been in an accident and then realizing I'd lost the baby."

"Caroline, do you remember the actual accident itself?"

"Yes. This car came out of nowhere, Danny, and he was flying. He was behind a truck and I didn't see him until he was almost on top of me. Maybe if I'd realized he was going to hit me a split-second sooner. ."

"Hey, don't go there, Caroline. There was nothing you could have done to prevent the accident from happening."

"What about the other driver, Danny?"

"Caroline, do you really want to talk about this right now?"

"Yes, Danny, I do. Tell me. Please."

"The other driver was killed in the accident. It . . It was Edward Powell, III, Caroline; the same guy who hit Lana."

"And because of his family he had to pay a fine and do community service and then he got drunk again and hit me killing our child in the process?"

(Caroline's voice has been getting louder and louder as she's been talking and the expression of anger on her face scares Danny a little.)

"He wasn't drunk when he hit you, Caroline. Max ran the tests three times; there was no alcohol or drugs in his system at the time of the accident. But, Max also believes that Powell was suffering from a brain disorder that's caused by constant ingestion of large amount of alcohol. . . . Caroline, your mom mentioned something to me that, at the time, I really didn't want to think about because you were . . . Well, anyway, I think she may be on to something."

"What'd she say?"

"That, because Powell died in the accident, we should file a civil suit against his estate and, if we win, use whatever financial award we receive to establish a foundation of some kind for victims of drunk drivers."

(Caroline thinks over what Danny has just said for several minutes but, finally looks at him with a determined expression.)

"I think Mom's right, Danny. As long as people like the Powells are allowed to get away with buying their way out of jail time, people are going to continue to be hurt. I think we should do it and I like the idea of establishing a fund for victims of drunk drivers."

"Okay, then, Gorgeous, we'll do it. It's not going to be easy, Caroline; some of the testimony is going to be hard to deal with."

"I know, but if we have a chance to do something that will bring the tragedy of what happened to us, and happens to thousands of other people, to the public's attention, maybe some laws providing for harsher punishments will be passed."

"You're an amazing person, Caroline, and I love you very much. We'll get through this together and, one day, we'll be able to move on with our lives."

"Do you want to try again, Danny? To have a baby?"

"Do you?"

"I . . I'm not sure what I'm feeling at the moment."

"Then let's postpone this discussion until you're. . We're both ready. Right now, it's just you and me in the middle of the ocean and we can stay out here as long as you want."

"I love you, Danny."


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: December 8, 2012**

**To all my loyal and faithful readers and those who may have started reading my stories recently . . .**

**My youngest daughter is having neurosurgery this coming Tuesday, December 11th at a large medical center an hour and-a-half from our home. We just received her diagnosis a couple of weeks ago and the surgery is quite serious. Since she is an identical twin, her sister will also need to be tested for the same condition. Needless to say, my mind is most assuredly not on writing for or anything else at the moment.**

**I apologize for having to suspend my current story, but I'm sure you will all understand why. I don't wish to offend anyone, but I would like to ask that those of you who are praying people please keep our family in your prayers in the weeks to come. As some of you know, my father died on Dec. 20th of last year and we are now facing another serious medical situation with our daughter.**

**I promise you all that I will resume my current story as soon as I am able. If any of you would like updates on the surgery and my daughter's condition, please send me a private message and I will do my best to respond in a timely manner.**

**Thank you all for your understanding and your patience. I treasure all of my fanfic readers and friends, and you all mean the world to me.**

**Michelle**


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: February 6, 2013**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: My daughter's surgery was successful and she is well on her way to a full recovery, thank God! Her sister also has the condition, but she has a very mild issue and the doctor's don't think any surgery will be required. Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement during the past couple of months, and for your patience and understanding, as well. I'm going to do my best to continue this story in a manner that will be entertaining for you all. Michelle**

(After Sam's statement that her family is "off-target", Capt. Stewart takes a few moments to quickly glance around the room and observe the facial expressions and body language of everyone present. It is quite clear that all four people are tense, and one look at Sam is all it takes to determine that she is also angry; no matter how hard she's working to try and hide that fact. Having read Sam's service record and medical files so much that he almost has them memorized, and having talked with both Libby and Mike quite extensively about the deaths of Sam's biological parents and Sam's behavior and reactions during that time, as well as talking with Adm. Henderson in regard to Sam's performance of her duties and responsibilities at the base, Capt. Stewart has formed some opinions of his own.)

"I believe that we have, at the very least, opened a dialogue today that will prove to be beneficial to everyone involved in the long run. However, I also believe that there are more questions which need to be answered by all of you, but I feel those questions would, for the time being, be better dealt with in individual sessions. I'd like to start with Adm. and Mrs. Thrasher. Will the two of you be able to meet with me tomorrow morning at 0900 hours?"

"Of course we will, Capt. Stewart. My wife and I are willing to do whatever is necessary to help our daughter."

"Good. I'll see you both tomorrow morning. Cmdr. McGarret, uh, _both_ Commanders McGarrett, I will want to speak with each of you individually, as well. Perhaps, I could meet with Cmdr. Steve McGarrett at, say, 1300 hours tomorrow and Cmdr. Samantha McGarrett at 1630 hours?"

(Both Sam and Steve agree to Capt. Stewart's request and the McGarretts and the Thrashers take their leave of the psychiatrist. They are all quiet as they take the elevator downstairs and exit the base hospital, and Libby, Mike, and Steve are, frankly, concerned that Sam is angry with them. Steve is dying to pull his wife into his arms and kiss her reassuringly, but he knows that, in addition to such an action being highly inappropriate out in public for anyone near the hospital to see, Sam does not want to be anywhere him at the moment. Outwardly, Sam appears calm and even offers her parents a small if somewhat stilted smile as they both kiss her cheek before getting into their car and driving out of the parking lot. Steve, however, is another matter, and Sam doesn't even so much as glance in his direction as she heads for her car. Briefly closing his eyes and running a hand over his face in frustration, Steve determinedly follows his wife's shapely form and reaches her Porsche just as she is sliding her key into the ignition.)

"Sam."

"I have to go, Steve. I have a meeting with Adm. Henderson."

"Sam, Baby, I know you're upset with me right now, but you've got to understand that I'm worried about you."

"I don't know why you and Mom and Dad have suddenly decided that something's wrong with me, but I'm fine. Did you decide that, now that Caroline's okay, you needed to make _me_ the focus of your paranoia?"

"_Paranoia_? Really, Sam? You think I'm paranoid?"

"How else would _you_ explain your need to freak out over nothing?"

"The way you've been behaving lately isn't 'nothing', Sam; it's irrational."

"Do you hear yourself, Steve? Do you? With all the responsibilities I have, not the least of which are you and Emily, I think that in light of everything that's happened over the last couple of months I've behaved pretty damned appropriately."

"Because you can't _see_ it, Sam; you refuse to even consider that you're not your usual self. . . Damn it, Sam, you're not acting like the woman I fell in love with; you're not the woman I married!"

(As soon as the words fly out of Steve's mouth he mentally kicks himself six ways for Sunday and the stricken expression on Sam's face and the total and complete silence that follows his outburst causes his stomach to cramp. Sam has turned as white as a sheet in a matter of moments and the hurt he sees in her eyes cuts him to the quick. Steve starts to reach out to touch Sam's cheek but she jerks away from his hand and, not wanting to do anything that would embarrass her in front of any of the base personnel who might see them, Steve quickly pulls his hand back and tries his best to apologize for his thoughtless words.)

"Sam, Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You _know_ I didn't mean it. I _love_ you, Sam, with all my heart."

"I have to go."

(And the quietly spoken words cut Steve like a very sharp knife as he steps away from Sam's car and she backs out of the parking space and heads toward the Flight Operations building. Standing in the middle of the parking lot with his hands on his hips, his head down, and his eyes closed, Steve begins to experience the first sensation of true fear. Although he and Sam have been in some truly frightening situations in the past, this time is much worse because _this_ time there isn't anyone he can pursue and arrest. _This_ time, he can't "fix" anything. As icy tendrils of terror begin to wind their way from his stomach up to his throat, Steve turns around and determinedly strides back into the hospital taking the stairs, two at a time, until he reaches the floor on which Capt. Stewart's office is located. Not caring if he's rude or not, Steve doesn't even slow down as he reaches the Captain's door and pauses only long enough to turn the doorknob and step inside. Looking up from the notes he is making in Sam's file, the Captain takes one look at Steve's face and immediately lays down his pen and stands up; the stricken young man standing before him looks as if he's about to experience a "meltdown" of the worst kind.)

"Sorry, Capt. Stewart, but I can't wait until 1300 hours tomorrow; I need to talk to you right now. I'm . . . I'm scared, Doc. My wife is moving farther and farther away from me and I'm scared I'm going to lose her."


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: February 25, 2013**

**A/N: I apologize for not updating before now but it seems I was premature in telling all of you that our other daughter, although having the same condition, would not require surgery as her situation was not as severe nor urgent as her sister's. Just after I posted Chapter 32, we learned that our other daughter would require surgery, too. As her situation is ****not**** as severe nor urgent, she will be able to wait until she graduates from high school in May and then have the surgery sometime this summer. Our faith is strong, however, and I know that the Lord has His healing hands on both our girls. Writing fan fiction is a type of "mental therapy" for me so I will continue to write and promise you all that I will do my best to post quality material that is worth your time and attention. I would like to ask, again, that those of you who are praying people please include our family in your prayers and ask the Lord to be with all of us in the months to come. Thank you all so much for continuing to read and review my work and for the private messages many of you have sent me. My fan fiction friends mean the world to me and your words help so much! Michelle**

(Caroline and Danny have spent the day swimming and making love on the sailboat, and Danny begins to truly relax for the first time in what seems like an eternity. While he knows that Caroline is a long way from the person she was before losing their baby, he is still very thankful that she has finally emerged from the dark, dark place she went to after the accident. Watching her as she straightens up the galley after their late afternoon lunch, he is nearly overcome with emotion as thoughts of how desolate and empty his life would be if he had lost Caroline run through his mind. Suddenly, the few feet separating them seems like an ocean to Danny and he grabs his wife and pulls her into his arms with a ferocity that causes her to gasp.)

"Danny, what on Earth . . .?"

"I can't live without you, Caroline, so promise me you will never, _ever_ leave me again."

"Oh, Danny . . ."

"I mean it, Caroline; you're my every thought, my every breath, . . . I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere, Danny; not again. I am so very sorry that I wasn't strong enough to deal with. . With losing our baby. I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world. . . Oh, my God, are you crying? You are! What am I saying? Of course, you are! Dear God, what you must have gone through while I was out of it! Oh, Danny . . ."

"It's all right, Caroline."

"It's _not_ all right! How could I have been so selfish, so self-centered as to retreat into my own, private little never, never land and leave you to cope with losing our child _and_ worrying about me?"

"You couldn't help it, Caroline. You heard Capt. Stewart; losing our baby after wanting him for so long was just too much for your mind to deal with rationally at the time. I know you didn't deliberately leave me, Sweetheart. I just. . . I don't want to ever go through something like that again."

(Caroline reaches up to gently wipe the tears from her husband's eyes with her thumbs and pulls his face to hers to softly brush her lips across his before pulling back to meet his eyes with a steady yet loving gaze.)

"I swear to you, Danny, that I will never, ever hurt you again. Capt. Stewart helped me to realize that I just . . Gave up when I lost Gabe. I didn't think about you or Grace or Mom and Dad, or Sam and Steve, or anyone else; just myself."

"Caroline . ."

"Let me finish, Danny. Please. . . Capt. Stewart and I managed to have a rather lengthy talk after I came out of the state I was in and before I was discharged from the hospital. . . I . . have to tell you something, Danny, and it's going to be hard for me to do so . . Please just listen and let me finish, okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you remember what happened when I woke up after the accident?"

"I do. You woke up and told me you were in pain so the nurse came in and gave you something in your I.V."

"And I realized I'd lost our baby just before the pain meds kicked in."

"Yeah. The next time you woke up, you weren't . . You weren't there, but you couldn't help leaving, Caroline."

"That's just it, Danny. As soon as I realized I had lost the baby, I just . . . Gave up. I didn't think about you or Grace or Mom and Dad or Sam and Steve, or anyone . . Except myself. I didn't _want_ to think about anyone else. I . . I didn't _care_ how you felt; how any of you felt. I had lost the baby I so desperately wanted and I didn't care if anyone else was hurt by that fact or not. . . Not even you."

"Caroline, . ."

"Don't you dare say I couldn't help it again, Danny! Don't you understand? Once I realized our baby was gone, I shut all thoughts of everyone else out of my mind! I did not _care_ how any of you felt!"

"You were physically injured, Caroline; seriously enough that you required emergency surgery! You were in shock. No one can blame you for being overcome by grief."

"_**I **_blame me, Danny! If I had only thought, for even a moment, about how much losing the baby would hurt _you_. . . If I had, for once in my life, not been so selfish . . . God, Danny, can you _ever_ forgive me?"


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: February 27, 2013**

(Capt. Stewart has seen a lot of things in his years as a psychiatrist, especially as a military doctor who almost daily deals with the mental and emotional devastation of soldiers who have been involved in truly horrific combat situations, but, at this particular moment, the distraught young man touches something inside of him in a way that he's known only a few times in his career. Commander Steve McGarrett is something of a legend on the naval base and, having reviewed Steve's service record as part of his evaluation of Sam, the psychiatrist is well aware that this young man is a true hero in every sense of the word. Whatever Cmdr. McGarrett sets out to do, he usually does quickly and efficiently and then "fades into the background"; humbly choosing the satisfaction of knowing he accomplished his mission to the best of his ability rather than placing himself front and center to accept accolades and awards. The young man now standing before him, however, is a mass of raw emotion and his anxiety and fear is nearly a palpable thing. There is no doubt in Capt. Stewart's mind that Steve McGarrett would willingly walk through a blazing inferno if it were asked of him, would willingly lay his life on the line and put himself in harm's way if it were his duty to do so and would do these things with no fear, but the one thing that makes him utterly and completely vulnerable, the one thing that is his "Achilles' Heel", is the love he bears for his wife. The psychiatrist finds that _he_ is shocked by the fact that this brave young man is standing there looking for all the world like he's about to collapse. Snapping out of the momentary, slightly dazed state he finds himself in, Capt. Stewart quickly walks around his desk while inviting Steve to sit down on one of the sofas in his office. Sitting down across from Steve, the Captain mentally reaches down deep to find the right words to ease the near-terror he sees in the younger man's eyes.)

"I understand your concerns, Cmdr. McGarrett, and I want you to know that I _will_ help you, your wife, and the rest of your family work through this. I know that, at the moment, you feel out of control and I'm quite certain that, for you, that is a very unfamiliar sensation. Let me assure you, however, that I don't believe the situation is quite as dire as you may think. After reviewing your wife's medical and service records and talking with you and others who are close to her, I agree that there is some cause for concern, but I _do not_ think this is a no-win situation."

"Glad to hear it, Doc, but I've never, _never_ been this scared in my entire life! I've been in some pretty desperate situations as a SEAL, and there have been a couple of times I was sure I was going to die during an op, but I've never felt like my heart was literally going to explode the way I do now. I love Sam more than anyone or anything in this world; every beat of my heart, every breath I take is _because of_ and _for_ her. _I cannot live without her!_"

"I understand that, Commander; truly, I do. I want you to take some slow, deep breaths and _listen_ to me very carefully. . . Physically, with the exception of her recent bout insomnia and nausea and vomiting brought on by stress, your wife is in excellent health. Her service record is exemplary, her psychological evaluations are right on the money, and she is an excellent officer; well-liked by base personnel. From everything you and your in-laws have told me and from what I saw with my own eyes while your sister-in-law was a patient here, your wife is a very caring and compassionate individual and she is a wonderful mother to your daughter."

"Yeah, Doc, she is, but there's something _wrong_. Sam is one of the most level-headed people I know, but, lately, it's almost as if she's two different people. Emotionally, she goes from one end of the spectrum to the other in a matter of minutes and, while her behavior hasn't necessarily been inappropriate as of yet, I'm scared to death that she's going to lose it and lose it big at any second. Something's eating away at her, and, damn it, I don't know how to help her!"

(The psychiatrist sits up a little bit straighter and looks at Steve with a new awareness and appreciation.)

"You've hit the nail on the head, Commander. Something _is_ weighing heavily on your wife and I believe that, whatever it is, she is experiencing _guilt_ about something related to her biological parents' deaths."

"Sam has nothing to feel guilty about. Her biological parents were killed in an automobile accident, Capt. Stewart. They were hit, head on, by a drunk driver."

"Yes, an attorney by the name of Blake Moore; worked for a United States Senator at the time and married his daughter later on. I believe that, not too long ago, both you and your wife were instrumental in bringing Mr. Moore to trial on federal charges and that he is, and will be, safely locked away in a federal prison for quite some time."

"Yes. Blake Moore killed Anne and Jonathan Murdock because he was driving drunk. The Senator used his political connections and made a deal for Moore so that he only had to pay a fine and do community service; he never served any time for causing the Murdock's deaths. Do you . . Do you think Sam feels guilty because she didn't push harder to have Moore tried for her parents' deaths? Is that what you're getting at, Captain?"

"Cmdr. McGarrett was only seventeen years old when her parents died and wasn't legally in a position to force the authorities to pursue criminal charges against Blake Moore, so, no, I don't believe that is the root cause of her recent behavior. I believe it is something deeper, something much more personal, but I need to speak with your wife, in greater detail, to be certain, and I want to speak with you and your in-laws before I speak with your wife. Part of the problem, Commander, is that your wife truly doesn't believe there _is_ a problem. She honestly believes that, because of the recent and rather lengthy medical crisis with your sister-in-law, you and her parents are reacting to the stress all of you were under during Lt. Williams' illness. Your wife believes that, given time, things will return to normal if allowed to follow a natural progression."

"But _you_ believe there _is_ something going on with Sam?"

"I do, but before I can do her any good, she has to be willing to accept the fact that there is a problem. I realize that you didn't know Cmdr. McGarrett at the time her biological parents were killed and didn't meet her until several years later, but I need to know everything she has told you about them."

"Okay. Can we do this now, Doc? If I have to wait until 1300 hours tomorrow to talk about this, I'm going to explode. At least I'll feel like I'm actually _doing_ something if we talk now, and God knows I _need_ to do something to bring Sam back to me."

"Then, by all means, Commander, let's do this."


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: February 28, 2013**

**A/N: I hope this chapter will be what some of you have asked for with Caroline and Danny. If not, just send me a p/m and give me specifics and I'll do my best. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Michelle**

"I think it's time we forgave each other, Caroline. You are no more to blame for Gabe's death than I am, and I do not blame you for what happened when you realized we'd lost him. You may _think_ you just gave up and didn't care about how I or anyone else felt, but I know better. You were in pain, Caroline; physically and emotionally, and you really didn't have any control over what you were feeling."

"But, Danny . ."

"We lost our son, Caroline. We lost Gabe and there's nothing either one of us can do about that now. What we _can _do is be there for and help one another while we work through our grief. We need to be there for Grace, too, and the rest of our family. We aren't the only two people who loved Gabe and who are hurting because he's gone. And while were on the subject . . . Yes, I want us to try again. I love you with all my heart and I want to have children with you; _our_ children. I want to hold your hand and be strong for you while you're in labor and delivering our babies. I want to stand across the room and watch you while you nurse those babies because there's _nothing_ in the world any more beautiful than the sight of a mother nursing her child. I want to agonize with you over things like when we're going to let our daughters get their ears pierced and how old they should be before we let them start dating. I want to listen to you tell our sons how awesome it is to fly for the Navy and watch you roll your eyes while _I_ tell them how Hawaii can't hold a candle to New Jersey. I want to be by your side when we explain the facts of life to them, and, more importantly, when we tell them about the pure and perfect joy that's going to fill their hearts one day when they fall in love with the person they were meant to spend the rest of their lives with. I want to look into _your_ beautiful eyes when we tell them how we met and fell in love and how we'll always be in love and that they'll be damned lucky if they find anything close to what we have together. Twenty years from now I want to be able to look at our sons and daughters and see your eyes or your smile or your sweet and gentle spirit. We lost our son, Caroline, and it hurts worse than any other pain I've ever felt, but we need to work through our grief and move on with our lives. We won't ever forget Gabe, but I pray we'll have other children and we'll tell them all about the brother they'll never know and they'll never doubt they're loved. See, they'll know that, even though losing Gabe broke our hearts, we wanted children so much that we brought them into the world and we love them with everything we have in us."

(As Danny has been speaking, Caroline has been watching his face and really listening to everything he's said. She realizes that she's never seen this particular expression on her husband's face before, never heard this particular pitch nor tone in his voice, and she just wants to pull him into her arms and hold him tightly. She wants to take all his pain away. Every word Danny has uttered his reached deeply into her heart and pushed aside her grief over losing their son leaving the first, faint stirrings of hope where only desolation and pain had been. Now, as Danny lifts a hand and gently touches her face, Caroline feels the rush of many emotions; pain, heartache, grief, longing, and, yes, hope. He ever so gently brushes away the tears that are steadily streaming down her cheek and she knows that her heart is in her eyes; everything she is feeling there for him to see. Sliding her arms around his neck and pressing herself as close to him as possible, Caroline slowly nods her head.)

"I want all those things, too, Danny. You're right, we can't bring Gabe back, but we can help each other. I . .Want to try again, but I want to wait a little while before we do."

"I get that, Caroline, and I'm willing to wait until you're ready. I don't want to do anything that's going to cause you pain, Sweetheart. I wouldn't hurt you for the world."

"Nor I you, Danny. You know, Capt. Stewart told me that I wouldn't be able to fully recover until I let myself. I didn't understand what he meant at the time, but I think I do now. Danny, I'm not going to tell you that everything's going to be perfect from here on out because I can't promise you that it will. I am going to tell you that I love you very much and I will do my best to work through this. I promise you that I won't leave you again the way I did after losing the baby. We _will_ get through this together.


	36. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: February 28, 2013**

(Nearly two hours after returning to Capt. Stewart's office, Steve walks out of the base hospital feeling totally drained emotionally and the redness of his eyes is a testament to just how bad off he really is at the moment. Once the psychiatrist started asking questions about what, specifically, Sam had told him about her biological parents, Steve realized that she had told him very little. As he went all the way back to when he and Sam first met and really thought about every conversation they'd ever had about Anne and Jonathan Murdock, Steve became aware that Sam had never been very forthcoming about her biological parents and he now sees that she was almost defensive anytime they were brought up. He told Capt. Stewart how he had recently suggested that Sam was hiding something; that perhaps Anne and Jonathan weren't the wonderful, loving parents he had assumed they'd been and how Sam had reacted by slapping him. Now, after talking with the Captain, Steve is wondering just exactly how close he really was to the truth. One thing is certain; Sam _is_ harboring guilty feelings about something connected to the Murdocks and Steve is determined to find out just what that something might be. Pulling out his cellular phone, he sees that it is nearly 1700 hours. He hits the speed dial for Sam but her voicemail picks up. He leaves a sweet, loving message asking her to call him when she has a chance and then hits the speed dial for Libby. After a brief conversation with his mother-in-law, Steve calls Rosa and asks her to keep an eye on Emily for a little while longer, and then drives to his in-law's beach house. Libby and Mike are sitting on their back deck when their son-in-law arrives and one look at him has them both on alert. Wordlessly, Mike steps inside the house and returns with a tumbler of whiskey he hands to Steve as soon as the younger man is seated across from him and Libby.)

"Here, Son, you look like you could use this."

"Thanks, Mike. . . I went back upstairs and had a long talk with Capt. Stewart after you left this afternoon. He's convinced, as am I, that whatever it is that's eating at Sam is connected to Anne and Jonathan; specifically, something to do with their deaths. Do either of you know of anything, anything at all, that was out of the ordinary, in any way, about Sam's relationship with them?"

"Anne and Jonathan were two of the nicest people I've ever known, Steve, and they both loved Sam very much. I can promise you that there was absolutely no possibility that either of them every abused Sam or behaved in any way that was inappropriate with her."

"They were your friends, Libby; your _close_ friends. Are you absolutely sure that, because of your friendship with them, you didn't . . Overlook or miss something?"

"Yes, Steve, I'm absolutely positive. One of the reasons Anne and I were so close is because we shared a very painful bond; we both wanted a houseful of children, but we were both unable to have more than one. You see, Anne was unable to conceive after Sam was born. The doctors said it was a miracle that they had Sam to begin with because Anne's egg production was unusually low. She and Jonathan doted on Sam. Neither of them would have ever done anything to hurt her in any way. She was the only child they would ever have, so she was the center of their world."

"Just what are you getting at, Steve?"

"I'm not sure I know, Mike, but Capt. Stewart is convinced that the reason for Sam's behavior lately, the reason she's been acting so strangely, is directly related to Anne and Jonathan; specifically, to their deaths."

(Steve is becoming more emotional as he speaks and, after carefully placing the tumbler of whiskey on a table beside the loveseat on which he is sitting, Steve lifts tear-filled eyes to his in-laws and his voice breaks.)

"I need you both to think really hard and try to remember everything that happened when the Murdocks died, I need you both to try and remember if Sam said or did anything that might give me some idea of why she feels guilty about their deaths. _I need you to help me help Sam because I'm scared to death that I'm losing her and that will kill me!_"

(Libby moves quickly to enfold Steve in her motherly embrace and she understands just how deeply this young man she has come to think of as a son is hurting. Tears fill her eyes as she casts a desperate glance in her husband's direction.)

"You are _not_ going to lose her, Steve! Sam loves you too much to ever deliberately hurt you. Surely you know that?"

"I _thought_ I knew her, Libby, but . . . She's never hidden anything from me; at least, not until now."

"I don't think Sam's hiding anything from you now, Steve. I'm not convinced that there's anything for her to hide."

"Then what is _wrong_ with her, Mike? I need my wife and Emily needs her mother. You can see how this is affecting me and it won't be long before Emily realizes that something's wrong with her Mommy. We need to get to the bottom of this _now_ before it hurts our daughter!"

"What did Captain Stewart suggest?"

"He wants to talk to the two of you and to Sam just as he said when we were all in his office. I've already told him everything I know about Sam's biological parents, which isn't a Hell of a lot, and he said he needed more information. Maybe, when the two of you talk with him in the morning, something will come up that will at least give us a clue as to what's eating at Sam."

"Where's Sam right now, Steve?"

"She said she had a meeting with Adm. Henderson when she left the base hospital earlier. I tried calling her when I finally left Capt. Stewart's office but her phone went to voicemail and Rosa said she hadn't heard from her when I called to ask her to watch Emily for a little while longer. I'm assuming Sam's still at the base, Mike."

"Go home, pack an overnight bag for Emily, and bring her back here. I believe it's time that young lady spent a little time with her grandparents and you and Sam need to have a long talk. You need to tell her exactly how you feel, Son. You need to let her know how much you're hurting right now."


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 3, 2013**

(At the same time Steve is sitting on his in-law's back deck talking to them, Sam is sitting in her office staring at her flat-screen computer monitor. Everyone else has left for the day and Sam has been sitting at her desk staring at the same thing on her monitor all by herself for over half an hour. Although she would rather cut off her right arm than admit it to her husband or anyone else, Sam has finally admitted to _herself_ that she does, indeed, have a problem. She has been carrying around a boatload of guilt since she was seventeen years old, and she is finding it increasingly difficult to deal with what she did all those years ago. Thinking back, Sam realizes that it was probably the stress and worry she experienced on a daily basis while Caroline was so sick, as well as little Gabe's death, that brought her unforgivable actions back to the forefront of her mind. Lifting one hand to the computer monitor, Sam gingerly touches the screen on which is displayed the section of Arlington National Cemetery where her biological parents are buried. As her fingers come into contact with the screen, her mind drifts back to the bitterly cold December day when her parents were buried.

_The sky is gray and filled with dark, heavy clouds, the wind blowing forlornly, and snow is lightly but steadily falling as the long procession of cars makes its way from the Washington National Cathedral to Arlington. Sam is sitting in the back of a black limousine, courtesy of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, between Libby and Mike Thrasher and Caroline is sitting across from them. Mike is in his dress uniform but Sam, Caroline, and Libby are all wearing black dresses beneath their dark coats. The funeral service at the church was a little lengthy, filled with military precision and several VIPs, including the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, the Secretary of Defense, and the Vice-President of the United States, all personal friends of Anne and Jonathan Murdock, spoke during the service,. Her father's brilliant military career was discussed, the many numerous medals he had been awarded were mentioned, his loyalty and honor to his country cited, and his deep love for his wife and daughter expressed. Her mother's unwavering love and support for her husband was mentioned as well as what a caring and kind Officer's wife Anne Murdock was and how all the other SEAL wives strove to emulate her in word and deed. And then Mike had spoken so eloquently about how, in his humble opinion, Anne and Jonathan Murdock were more than a Navy SEAL and a Navy wife; they were loyal and caring friends who were always ready and willing to be there for others in bad times as well as good, and, perhaps most importantly, they were devoted parents who had raised their only child in a house filled with love and had instilled in their daughter a sense of duty, honor, and honesty. His voice had broken when he had talked about what good and close friends Anne and Jonathan had been to him and his Libby and how much they were going to be missed. Looking at Sam through tear-filled eyes, Mike had promised her, there in the National Cathedral in front of all those present, that he and Libby would love and care for her as if she were their own. It was then that Sam had been filled with guilt for the first time and she suddenly found that she was having a difficult time breathing. _

_The burial at Arlington was with full military honors and, although she was bundled warmly in a heavy coat and gloves, icy tendrils of shame wrapped around Sam's heart and invaded her soul as she was presented with the flag from her father's casket, the volley of gunshots filled the air, and Taps was played by the lone bugler. Back at the house, Sam stood between Libby and Mike for what seemed like hours while friends and acquaintances of her parents came to pay their respects. Somehow, she managed to respond appropriately to the comments that were addressed directly to her and, when everyone but the family was gone and she had changed out of the black dress she had worn to her parents' funeral and into a pair of comfortable jeans and her favorite sweater and gone downstairs to the kitchen where Libby was preparing their dinner, she had felt emotionally drained and like she was simply "going through the motions". Caroline and Mike were conspicuously absent from the kitchen and Sam had quietly seated herself on one of the stools at the breakfast bar separating the kitchen from the eating area and watched Libby as she sliced fresh vegetables and added them to the salad bowl._

"_Where are Caroline and Uncle Mike?"_

"_I sent them to the bakery to get one of those strawberry cakes you like so much for dessert."_

"_Will the bakery have any strawberry cakes, Aunt Libby? I mean, it's December."_

"_I called Mrs. Magee and asked her if she would locate some hothouse strawberries and make you one, Sweetie."_

"_That's very thoughtful of you, Aunt Libby, but you didn't have to go to all that trouble."_

"_It wasn't any trouble, Sam. I know how much pain you're in right now, and I wanted to do something to help you feel better; even if it's only for a few moments."_

_And before Sam could respond, could tell Libby that she didn't deserve any kindness because of what she'd done, Caroline and Mike had come back with the strawberry cake and the moment had passed. For the next several days, Libby and Mike had made sure that Sam was never alone for any extended length of time and they did everything within their power to protect her from the media. Realizing that she couldn't stay in Washington any longer, Sam had begged Libby and Mike to allow her to return to the Naval Academy and her studies. Finally, after enlisting Caroline to join her in convincing Libby and Mike to allow them to return to school, the two girls found themselves back in their dorm in Annapolis. Sam threw herself in to her studies and excelled beyond her expectations. She graduated summa cum laude, immediately went to Flight School in Pensacola, FL, gradated from there at the top of her class, and went on with her life._

Hearing several people in the hallway outside her office saying goodnight to others, Sam gives herself a mental shake and sighs heavily as she shuts down her computer, grabs her briefcase and cover, and heads out to the parking lot. As she is driving home from the base, the thought that she has been living a lie since her parents died drums steadily through Sam's mind and, by the time she pulls into her driveway, she is almost physically sick to her stomach.)


	38. Chapter 38

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 3, 2013**

(Sam's anxiety level only increases when she sees Steve's truck already in the driveway because of the way they parted company earlier in the afternoon. Sitting in her car a moment after shutting off the ignition, Sam rests her head against the headrest, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath in an effort to get herself under some semblance of control. In her mind's eye, she clearly sees the hurt that was present in her husband's eyes as she drove away from him outside the base hospital and tears spring to her own eyes as her heart twists painfully at the knowledge that _she _caused that hurt. That she deliberately inflicted pain on the man she loves only intensifies her feelings of guilt and causes the knot that has formed in her stomach to grow. Knowing that she can't sit in her car all night, Sam grabs her cover and briefcase and heads into the house. Closing the front door behind her, Sam drops her cover and briefcase on a chair just inside the door and heads upstairs to change. The house is silent and she wonders why because Emily usually comes running to meet her Mommy as soon as the little girl hears the door open. Deciding that Emily and Steve are either out on the back deck or down at the beach, Sam quickly goes into her and Steve's bedroom, changes into a pair of jeans and a sleeveless tee shirt and heads downstairs and outside. Emily is nowhere in sight, but Steve is standing at the deck railing looking out at the sun dropping down over the ocean. Cautiously, Sam walks up beside him but keeps a couple of feet between them. Steve doesn't say anything for a few minutes and Sam feels fear begin to invade her senses. Finally, when she is just about to come out of her skin, he acknowledges her presence.)

"Emily is at your parents' house, Sam; she's spending the night there. You and I are going to talk. I have questions that you are going to answer; no evading the issue and no changing the subject."

"Sounds more like an interrogation to me, Steve."

"Call it what you want, but I have questions that I need answers to and you are the only person who can give me those answers."

"And if I don't?"

"If you won't talk to me, Sam, and honestly answer the questions I need answered, then I guess you don't really love me after all. People who truly love each other are open and honest with one another and they don't hide things. You're hiding something from me, Sam, and I want, I _need_ to know what that something is before it destroys both of us; before it destroys our daughter."

(Steve finally turns to face Sam as he utters these last words and she sees a look in his eyes that causes sheer panic to race along her spine. Her heart is in her throat because she has no doubt that Steve is deadly serious about everything he's said to her. As Sam begins to tremble and turn several shades paler, Steve wants desperately to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly. He desperately wants to tell her that everything will be all right. He wants to wipe the fear and uncertainty he sees in her eyes away, but he knows that, as much as it's killing him to put her through this, he has to do it for all their sakes.)

"What is it you want to know, Steve?"

"I want to know why you feel guilty about your parent's deaths."

"Does Capt. Stewart know about this? Does he know that you're demanding answers to questions I'm not ready to give?"

"Why aren't you ready, Sam?"

"Does. Capt. Stewart. Know?"

"No. I did go back up to his office and talk with him after you left the hospital this afternoon, but he doesn't know we're having this conversation right now."

"I distinctly remember Capt. Stewart telling us, and Mom and Dad, that he wanted to talk with them tomorrow morning, you at 1300 hours, and then me when I got off-duty tomorrow afternoon. I also remember hearing him clearly say that, although he had more questions, he thought those questions would be better dealt with in individual sessions. Why are you doing this, Steve? Why aren't you willing to wait until we've all talked with Capt. Stewart individually?"

"Because I've been existing in a living Hell lately, Sam, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you hurt Emily, too!"

(Steve's vehemently uttered words cut Sam to the core and she visibly flinches as if he'd slapped her. She has turned completely white and is shaking like a leaf as pain and fear, far worse than any she has ever felt before, seize her heart. Steve, apparently realizing that he's, perhaps, gone too far in his quest to get to the bottom of what's wrong with his wife, takes a step in Sam's direction, but she takes several steps back and throws both her hands palm up in a defensive manner. Then, before he can say a word, Sam spins around and runs into the house. Steve is right behind her, but she beats him to their bedroom, races into their walk-in closet, grabs a small suitcase, and begins to throw some clothes and her toiletries into it without sparing him a glance. Standing in the middle of their bedroom with his hands on his hips, Steve watches in disbelief as she quickly steps into the bathroom and returns with her toothbrush and a few more necessary items and tosses them into the suitcase, as well. Finally, she zips the suitcase closed, grabs it and a clean uniform out of the closet, and nearly runs down the stairs. Snatching her cover and briefcase from the chair where she'd left them only minutes earlier, Sam throws open the front door and strides determinedly to her car. Having followed her downstairs asking her what she was doing numerous times without receiving a reply, Steve feels icy tendrils of fear start to slither up _his_ spine as it finally sinks into his brain that his wife is leaving him. Catching up to her as she tosses her things into the car, Steve gently grabs her arm and pulls her around to face him."

"What are you doing, Sam? Where are you going?"

"Take you hand off my arm, Steve! Now!"

"Sam, don't do this!"

"Now, Steve!"

(And not wanting to make the situation any worse than it already is, Steve releases her arm and watches helplessly as Sam gets into her car and leaves without saying another word. His first impulse is to get in his truck and follow her, but he's pretty sure he knows where she's headed. Besides, he's now shaking so badly himself that he's incapable of driving anywhere safely. Flying back into the house, he grabs his cellular phone from the kitchen counter and hits a speed dial desperately trying to slow his breathing to a point where he won't pass out while waiting for his call to be answered.)


	39. Chapter 39

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 4, 2013**

(Libby is smiling as she watches Mike sitting on one of the sofas in their den telling Emily an outrageous story about her Mommy and her Aunt Caroline. Her granddaughter is completely enthralled by what Mike is saying although she probably doesn't understand most of what is coming out of her "Ganpa's" mouth. Laughing out loud at one of Mike's more creative facial expressions, Libby doesn't even glance at the caller I.D. as her cellular phone rings and she grabs it off the kitchen counter.)

"Hello?"

"Libby, I've screwed up royally and I need your help!"

"Steve? What on Earth is the matter, Son?"

"I decided to take a hard-line approach with Sam to get her to tell me what was going on, and I overdid things. She . . She left me, Libby! She packed a suitcase, got in her car, and left me! I'm pretty sure she's on her way to your house, but, God, I have so totally screwed up! Help me, Libby, please!"

"Calm down, Son, I can barely understand what you're saying! Did you say Sam _left_ you?"

"I pushed her too hard, too far. I couldn't leave well enough alone and wait for Capt. Stewart to talk to her tomorrow, and she left me! _Sam left me!_"

"Oh, my God, Steve! Son, what got into you?"

"I thought that, if I played hardball with her I could get some answers. I've made a terrible mistake, Libby, and I need to fix it and fix it now! Please, God, you've got to help me!"

(By now, Mike has determined that something is terribly wrong and, carrying Emily, he walks over to his wife with a concerned expression on his face. Libby has turned somewhat pale but is determined that Steve's near hysteria is not going to rub off on her and she knows she needs to keep her wits about her if she's going to be of any use to him at all.)

"Listen to me, Steve. I need you to take some slow, deep breaths and try to calm down. If I'm going to be of any help to you at all, I need to understand exactly what happened between you and Sam. Do you understand?"

(Sam has driven several blocks from the house before she begins to cry so hard that she can no longer see well enough to drive. Pulling over to the shoulder of the road, Sam drapes both arms on the steering wheel and rests her head on her arms as sobs wrack her body. Never in her entire life, not even when her parents died, has she felt such intense pain. Never has she felt so completely alone nor so completely lost. Never, in a million years, would she have ever, _ever_ thought that she would find herself in this position. The stark realization of what she has done hits her full-force and, along with that awareness is the understanding that, once again, her actions have resulted in tragedy. Once again, she has lost someone she loves and there is no one to blame but herself. Steve hit the nail on the head; he _has_ been living in Hell lately and it's all her fault, but she hasn't yet hurt Emily and she's not going to, either. Several minutes later, Sam has pulled herself together enough to drive and eases back onto the highway heading to a destination other than the one she had intended to go to when she left the house.

Libby has managed to calm Steve down somewhat and puts her phone on speaker before again asking him to tell her exactly what happened between him and Sam. She and Mike listen in horror as he describes everything that took place from the time Sam got home until she left, and they exchange several pained glances as they listen to the raw anguish in Steve's voice. He is crying unashamedly by the time he finishes and is literally begging them to tell him how to fix his screw up. Unfortunately, neither Libby nor Mike has the slightest idea of what to say to Steve at the moment. Promising him that they will call him just as soon as Sam gets to their house so he will know she got there okay, Libby tells Steve the first thing he should do is try to calm down and get himself under control because he's definitely in no shape to try and talk with Sam at the moment. After the call ends, Libby looks helplessly at her husband but he can offer her no words of wisdom. They are both, quite frankly, stunned speechless by what Steve has told them and need some time to absorb everything. Taking Emily from Mike, Libby holds her granddaughter close and sends up a silent prayer that Emily's Mommy and Daddy will get their heads out of their sixes and stop acting like idiots before they pass the point of no return. Asking Mike to let her know as soon as Sam arrives, Libby heads upstairs to give Emily a bath.

After talking with his in-laws, Steve does his best to follow Libby's instructions and calm down. Thinking back over their conversation, Steve understands just how big a bastard he was to Sam and knows exactly why she packed a bag and left him. He realizes that what he did may make it impossible for Sam to ever forgive him and that scares him. Badly.)


	40. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER FORTY**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 5, 2013**

**A/N: Thank you all so much for all the reviews and private messages! I had received several p/ms from readers wanting to see some serious Sam and Steve issues and even got a couple of suggestions along the lines of what's currently going on in the story right now. Hopefully, I am doing justice to those suggestions. If not, please p/m me and let me know. You guys are simply amazing and I love each and every one of you. BTW, the Caroline and Danny storyline isn't done yet, so please be patient. Thanks! Michelle**

(Libby is somewhat surprised to find that Sam has not yet arrived when she comes back downstairs carrying a sleepy, but clean and sweet-smelling Emily. Glancing at the clock, Libby sendsa worried look in her husband's direction. Mike, more than a little concerned about their daughter's absence himself, reaches for his cellular phone just as it starts to ring. His frown only deepens when he sees his son-in-law's name and number pop up on the caller I.D. Mike has no idea of what to say to Steve but he doesn't have to worry because Steve launches into rapid-fire questions before Mike can say a word.)

"Do you think Sam will talk to me, Mike, or is she still totally and completely pissed at me? Not that I blame her; she has every right to be pissed at me, but . . . Damn! Will it help if I come over there, get down on my knees, and _beg_ her to forgive me?"

"Steve, Son, Sam's not here."

"She's not there?"

"No, Son, Sam hasn't been here."

"She hasn't . . . Oh, my God, Mike, you don't think she's been in an accident, do you?"

"No, Steve, I don't and, if you were thinking clearly, neither would you. Don't you think H.P.D. would have notified you if your wife had been involved in an accident?"

(And Steve, feeling extremely sheepish and, to be honest, pretty damned stupid at the moment, takes a deep breath, counts to ten, and _finally_ gets his head out of his six and starts acting like the responsible and capable adult his is.)

"I'm so, so sorry Mike; I've been behaving like an idiot."

"Glad you finally realized that, Son; although, my daughter is about the only person I can think of that could cause you to act that way. Of course, _Sam's _been behaving pretty idiotically herself. Now, Sam isn't there and she isn't here. Let's just slow down a minute and think about this logically and rationally, shall we?"

"Yeah, okay."

"First thing I want you to do, Steve, is explain to me exactly why you thought you needed to treat Sam like a suspect in one of Five-0's interrogation rooms."

(There is silence on the other end of the call and Mike isn't certain Steve knows the answer to that question himself. Finally, Steve's voice comes across the phone line but he sounds extremely remorseful and slightly defeated.)

"I'm not really sure, Mike. With the accident and everything that went on with Caroline and the baby and then what Sam put herself through emotionally in order to bring Caroline back from wherever it was she went mentally, I just . . . Damn it!"

(Another long silence stretches between the two men while Steve is mentally beating himself over the head and Mike is letting the younger man figure out for himself what Mike already knows; that Sam and Steve are so in tune with one another, that they are so in love with one another, that they are each other's perfect match in every possible way that, just as they love so fiercely, so will they fight fiercely. When one of them is extremely upset about something and the other doesn't know what that something is, they each come close to sheer insanity in their need to find out what that something is and eliminate it from the other's life as quickly as possible. This time, the thing that has come between them is something that isn't going away quickly and they have temporarily "lost" their ability to know what the other is thinking and how the other is truly feeling, and this "_disconnect"_ is driving both of them over the edge and making them both act completely out of character. Sighing heavily, Mike tries gently nudging his son-in-law in the right direction and speaks very quietly.)

"You can't help her this way, Son, and you can't help yourself, either."

"I know that, Mike. I just went a little . . Crazy after I talked with Capt. Stewart earlier. The more we talked, the more I thought about the fact that Sam had shared very little with me about her biological parents, and . . How can you love someone if you don't share _everything_ with them, Mike? How can you _not_ be honest with them about every aspect of your life? How can you _lie_ to them? I thought I knew Sam, but . . ."

"Steve, I'm fairly certain that you know Sam better than Libby and I will ever know her, and we've known her a lot longer than you have, and I don't, for one second, believe Sam has ever lied to you. You don't really believe that, either. She isn't capable of lying to you, Son, she loves you too much."

"Then why won't she tell me what happened when the Murdock's died that has her so upset it's nearly paralyzed her?"

"Maybe she can't. Maybe whatever it is scares her so badly that she can't talk about it."

"Sam's never been scared of anything in her life."

"That we know of . . Steve, neither you, nor me, nor Libby knows what happened when Anne and Jonathan died, not really, and we don't know what happened in the days leading up to the accident."

"What are you getting at, Mike?"

"I'm not sure myself, Steve, but I want to talk to Capt., Stewart again as soon as possible. Maybe he can get Sam to tell him what she won't tell us."

"Yeah, Mike, maybe, but, right now, I just want to find Sam and tell her I'm sorry, tell her I love her, and beg her to forgive me."


	41. Chapter 41

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 6, 2013**

(Being second in command of the entire naval base awards Sam a good bit of power and she doesn't hesitate to use that power as she drives toward her destination. If there was ever an honest-to-God emergency situation on which the rest of her life depended, it is now. Surprisingly, she finds that she is extremely calm and in control once she complete her phone call and, if she's honest, she feels a certain sense of relief. Finally, after carrying around all the guilt she has been harboring for years, the truth is going to come out. The possibility that Steve, Libby, Mike, and Caroline are going to think much less of her after her revelations causes her pain, but she can no longer live with herself, let alone anyone else, if she doesn't get the truth out in the open. . .

Steve's admission that he's totally screwed up and is willing to do whatever it takes to get Sam to forgive him gives Mike hope that his daughter and son-in-law can work through this situation and get their relationship back on track. Of course, Sam has also got to be willing to work things out. Mike is just about to suggest that, since Steve has tried calling Sam's cellular phone numerous times without getting an answer, _he_ try to reach her when Steve tells him he has a call waiting. Praying that it is his missing daughter, Mike waits patiently while Steve checks his caller I.D. The number, however, is not one Steve recognizes and he ignores it to return to his conversation with Mike. Then Mike tells Steve that _he_ has a call waiting and he, too, finds he doesn't recognize the number. Libby's cellular phone rings and, when Mike glances down at the counter as sees the very same number on her phone, he realizes that the same someone, is trying to get in touch with all three of them.)

"Steve, Libby's getting a call on her cellular phone and it's the same number that popped up on mine. Let me see what's going on and I'll call you back in just a minute."

(But Libby has already figured out what is going on and grabs her cellular phone off the counter while handing Emily off to her grandfather. Three minutes and a rather cryptic conversation on Libby's end later, she looks up at Mike with a strange expression on her face. She is just about to tell him who the call was from when Steve calls back on Mike's cellular phone and Libby's rings again with Caroline's cellular number popping up on the caller I.D. Both Thrashers take the calls and, minutes later, look anxiously at one another. Five minutes later, they are in the car and headed to the naval base as are Steve and Caroline and Danny. They all get to the parking lot at the base hospital about the same time but not a one of them has any idea what specifically is happening. Emily spies her father and starts reaching for him as soon as Libby takes her out of her car seat, and Steve, fervently praying that whatever is about to happen will be for the good of everyone involved, takes his precious baby into his strong arms and cuddles her closely. A quick walk inside the building, an elevator ride upstairs, and the group is walking into Capt. Stewart's office where the psychiatrist is waiting. Sam, pale and trembling and obviously having been crying, is sitting in a chair on one end of the two sofas looking for all the world like a lost little girl. When Emily spies her mother, she starts saying, "Mommy, Mommy!", and Steve gently puts her down so she can run into Sam's waiting arms. Sam cuddles her daughter close and returns her kisses as fresh tears start sliding down her face. Capt. Stewart invites Steve, Libby and Mike, and Caroline and Danny to sit down on the two sofas and then sits in the chair opposite Sam explaining that he summoned them all to his office at Sam's request and that this is her meeting. The expressions on the faces of Sam's family are curious and concerned and they are all aware that something important is about to be revealed. Steve, his heart clenching at the obvious distress he sees in Sam's eyes, is doing his damnedest to tell her how very much he loves her and how very sorry he is for his earlier actions with only his eyes. If he and Sam can't work things out between them, it will kill him. Libby, motherly concern oozing from her every pore, is also gazing at Sam as if she wants to leave her seat on the sofa, grab her daughter to her and hold her close, and make whatever it is that has upset her daughter go far, far away, and Mike is right there with her. Caroline's expression is one of mixed confusion and worry and she's also upset that she doesn't know what's wrong with her sister. They've always been close and have always known what was bother each other but, this time, Caroline is drawing a blank and she doesn't like it one bit. Danny, having just been through the worst nightmare of his entire life, glances from Sam to Steve and back again and realizes that something is very, very wrong and his empathy for Steve grows by the second. Once all eyes are looking expectantly in her direction and Emily is pacified by simply being held by her mother, Sam takes a deep breath and begins.)


	42. Chapter 42

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 6, 2013**

"Capt. Stewart has no idea what I'm about to say, but he was kind enough to come back here to the base to meet me and call all of you to come here, as well. I need to tell you all something. . . Something that's going to be very . . Hard for me, but I'm asking you not to say anything until I'm finished because, when I'm done, I'm scared to death you're all going to hate me."

(Sam's cryptic words affect her family and Libby looks as if she wants to say something but abides by Sam's wishes and remains quiet. If possible, Sam has turned even paler and tears are starting to slowly slide down her face. Steve is doing his best to remain perfectly still and quiet and do as Sam asked, but a muscle is jumping in his jaw because he so desperately wants to go to his wife and enfold her in his strong arms. Sam looks first at Caroline and then Libby and Mike and finally Steve as she speaks with sorrow in her eyes.)

"Caroline, I am so sorry that you were forced to share your parents with me when mine died. I know that if would have been different if you had biological brothers or sisters, but you really didn't have any choice in the matter with me. Suddenly, after having them all to yourself for seventeen years, you were stuck with me. . . Mom, Dad, . . Although I really don't have the right to call you that, you lost the best friends you had in the world. I know the four of you were close and because of my selfishness, you lost them and were saddled with me. . . Steve . . ."

(And now Sam is sobbing so hard that, not only can she barely speak coherently, but Emily has become distressed and toddles toward her father but Danny quickly scoops her up and comforts her as Sam swipes at her eyes and tries to slow her breathing.)

"Steve, I love you more than I thought I was capable of loving anyone. You were made for me and I have never, _never_ known a love as perfect and pure as what we shared. But you were right this afternoon when you said you had been existing in a living Hell lately and that you didn't want Emily to be hurt by what had been happening. I am so, _so_ sorry for everything I've put you through and I swear to you that I don't want our precious baby girl to be touched by what I did. . . I'm sorry for everything I've put you all through. You see, it's my fault my parents died in that accident. I'm responsible for their deaths."

(There isn't a sound in the room as they are all, with the possible exception of Capt. Stewart, shocked to the core by Sam's words and, at the moment, are incapable of speech. Sam is struggling mightily to control her emotions because she doesn't want to upset her daughter any more than she already is but she's having a very hard time. Having been over all available records regarding the accident that claimed the Murdock's lives as well as all of Sam's medical and personnel files, Capt. Stewart is very well aware that Sam is in no way responsible for her parent's deaths but a glimmer of understanding is beginning to take shape in his mind. He carefully leans slightly forward in his chair and sends what he hopes is a comforting glance in Sam's direction.)

"Cmdr. McGarrett . . Sam, what makes you think you were responsible for your parents' deaths? Why is it is your fault they died in the accident? You were at the Naval Academy when the accident happened."

"Exactly! I was at the Academy when I should have been with them!"

"They had gone to southern Virginia to look at some property they were thinking of buying because your father was thinking about retiring from the Navy. You were a few, short years away from embarking on your own naval career. You had no reason to be with them. Why are you so convinced that you should have been with your parents that night?"

"Because they asked, no, they _begged_ me to make that trip with them and I refused!"

"When did they ask you to go with them?"

(Things have been getting more intense and the conversation between Sam and Capt. Stewart has been pretty much rapid fire since the psychiatrist started speaking but Libby looks like she wants to slap the man for badgering Sam. Steve and Mike, however, are beginning to suspect the same thing Capt. Stewart is thinking and they both unconsciously move closer to the edge of their seats, their eyes locked on Sam.)

"My . . My mother called me on Tuesday . . Three days before the accident. She said they were going to look at some property they were interested in and, since it would be the place I came . . Ho . . Home to whenever I was on leave, they wanted my opinion. . . I told her that whatever they decided was fine because I wouldn't be spending as much time there as they would. She tried to talk me into going and I gave her some lame excuse about wanting to study over the weekend. She finally asked me to think about it and said she'd call me later."

"Go on."

(But Sam, lost in the past, is crying out a good deal of the grief she has been holding within herself all these years and it takes her a few moments before she can follow Capt. Stewart's instructions. Steve starts to move toward her, but the Captain motions for him to remain where he is for the moment.)


	43. Chapter 43

**CHAPTER FORTY-THREE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 6, 2013**

(Steve sends a look in Capt. Stewart's direction that has made many other people, including some of the deadliest terrorists on the planet shake in their boots, but the Captain is so focused on Sam at the moment that he totally ignores her husband. Mike, having caught the look Steve sent toward the psychiatrist, catches his son-in-law's eye and shakes his head ever so slightly but he realizes that Steve is "on an extremely short leash" right now and it's not going to be long before, regardless of whether Capt. Stewart likes it or not, Steve is going to have Sam in his arms. Sitting next to Steve, Caroline looks like she's been struck by lightning by Sam's words and Mike certainly understands her confusion; he's fairly confused himself. How could they have missed what was going on with Sam for so long? As for Libby, her heart is breaking at the thought of what Sam has been living with for all this time and she is angry with herself for not seeing that Sam was still living in agony over the deaths of Anne and Jonathan. And, much like Steve, Libby very much wants to be able to hug her child who appears more vulnerable than Libby has ever seen her. Libby's ire only increases when Capt. Stewart again urges Sam to continue.)

"What happened then, Sam?"

"Dad called me later that night. He said Mom really wanted me to go with them to look at the property and so did he. He . . He said. . . He said that, in a few more years, he and Mom wou. . . wouldn't be seeing me nearly as mu. . much as they wanted."

"And what did you tell your father, Sam?"

"I . . I told him . . . I told him I really nee . . needed to st. . stay in Annapolis and study."

"Did you talk with your parents after the phone conversation on Tuesday?"

"Ye . . yes. I spoke with both of them again on Friday morning before they left Washington."

"And did either of them again ask you to go with them?"

"Bo. . both of them did."

"And, again, you told them you didn't want to go."

(Capt. Stewart is not asking a question but stating fact and all Sam has to do is agree with him. Steve and Mike are now quite sure that Sam is suffering from survivor's guilt and everything is starting to fall into place; from Sam's excelling at every, single thing she's ever attempted, always being at the top of her class and pursuing several advanced degrees to running away from Steve for years before he simply would not allow her to run any longer. Sam, for whatever reasons, feels responsible for her parents' deaths and she has, subconsciously, been trying to accomplish everything and anything she could that she has thought would have pleased her mother and father. As SEALs, both men have seen men they've fought with suffer from survivor's guilt and they both know how very dangerous it can be; some people are so affected by it that they end up committing suicide. That Sam has lived with it for so long scares the Hell out of them; especially Steve, and he's determined to do whatever he can to help her put it behind her. But right now, Capt. Stewart seems to have Sam's attention and Steve focuses on what the doctor is saying.)

"Was the conversation you had with your parents on that Friday morning the last one you had with them, Sam?"

"Yes. It was the last time I ever heard their voices."

"Sam, you are _not _responsible for what happened to your parents. Blake Moore, the man who hit them, went to a party, got drunk, deliberately got behind the wheel of a car, and then proceeded to hit them head on. Their deaths are _not_ your fault!"

(But guilt has been eating away at Sam for a very long time and she is convinced that she is to blame for killing the two people who, at that time, she loved more than anyone else in the world. Her eyes snap up to meet Capt. Stewart's, her face is a mask of raw pain, tears fill her eyes and spill over onto her pale cheeks, and she raises her voice as she shoots to her feet.)

"I. Killed. My. Parents! I didn't really need to study that weekend; I just didn't want to go look at a piece of property that would never be my home! If I had been with them, they wouldn't have started driving back to Washington! I would have convinced them to stay at the Inn near the property! They wouldn't have even been on that road that night!"

"You don't know that, Sam. If you had gone with them, you would have been killed, too, and then you would have never married Steve and you wouldn't have that precious little girl Danny's holding."

"I don't _deserve_ Steve or Emily! Don't you understand? My parents died because of me, I took Caroline's parents away from her and their best friends away from them, and I've hurt the man I love with all my heart, but I will not hurt my daughter!"

"You've done none of those things, Sam, but even if you had, Emily is your child. Are you just going to abandon her? Walk away from her, desert her?"

"I'm not fit to be Emily's mother!"

(Capt. Stewart never gets the chance to reply because Steve has had enough and can't stand it any longer. In less than a heartbeat he is on his feet and in two strides has yanked Sam up against his hard body and is holding her tightly. His voice is shaky as tears fall from his eyes, too, but his arms never loosen around his wife.)

"Sam, baby, _please_ listen to me! . . If you never believe another word I say, please believe this . . What happened to Anne and Jonathan was horrible but there was nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening. Capt. Stewart is right; if you had been with them, you would have died in that accident right along with them and I would have never met you or fallen in love with you or been able to create one of God's true miracles with you by the name of Emily Anne McGarrett. Look at me, Sam. . .I've told you this before but I'm going to tell you again. I _know _in my heart that God created me for you and you for me and no one will ever convince me otherwise. You told me that you believed that, too. Do you, Sam? Do you still believe that God made us for one another?"

(And through her tears, Sam manages to look into Steve's eyes and slowly nods her head. He gently reaches up with one hand to touch her face and drops a soft kiss on her mouth before he goes on.)

"I love you, Sweetheart; I can't live without you and neither can Emily. She needs her mother, Sam. We both need you. You aren't responsible for what happened to your parents, Sam; your being with them that night wouldn't have changed things . . . Except for the fact that you might have died."

"Steve . ."

"Sam, _listen_ to me. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you're not to blame. You can't be the reason your parents died that night, Sam, because you believe, as do I, that God made us for one another and if you had died that night, we would have never met. Let this go, Sam, please."

(And as they stand there holding one another and looking into one another's eyes while Steve tries to help Sam understand the truth, the other people in the room quietly slip out the door and close it behind them leaving Sam and Steve alone.)


	44. Chapter 44

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 7, 2013**

**A/N: Wow! This storyline has obviously made an impact on a good many of you based on the p/ms I've received and reviews, as well. Thank you all so much for your positive feedback and suggestions and, please, keep them coming! Michelle**

(Capt. Stewart has taken Libby and Mike and Caroline and Danny into a small conference room across the hall from his office to allow Sam and Steve some time together. Libby is in shock and Mike gently directs her to a chair and then perches on the arm with his arm around her shoulders while Caroline begins to pace from one end of the long table to the other. Emily is upset. She didn't see either of her parents all day and then her Mommy was crying loudly and then her Daddy and Mommy were both crying and then Uncle Danny carried her out of the room. Well, now it's time for Emily to cry and she does; loudly. Danny, realizing that he seems to be the only one capable of dealing with Emily at the moment, begins talking to the little girl in soft tones as he carries her to the opposite end of the room, and soon has Emily smiling. Capt. Stewart, having settled himself in a chair at one end of the conference table, watches as Caroline and her parents struggle to come to terms with what they've just heard. Finally, with a frown on her beautiful face, Caroline stops pacing and whirls around to face the Captain and her parents.)

"Sam doesn't really believe that I resent her, does she? I mean, one of the best days of my life was the day you guys told me you were going to adopt her. Surely she knows that we love her; that _I_ love her and that I _really_ did . . _DO_ want her to be my sister in every sense of the word? How, for one second, could she _ever_ think we don't love her? How can she even begin to think she is in any way responsible for the Murdock's deaths? Oh, my God, what is _wrong_ with her?"

"Caroline, Sweetheart, your sister is suffering from Survivor's Guilt. I don't know why I didn't see this happening a long time ago."

"Why didn't _I_ see it, Mike? That sweet child has been suffering silently all these years! Were we so caught up in our lives that we didn't notice that one of our girls was hurting?"

"You and Dad can't take all the blame, Mom. Sam and I have been thick as thieves since shortly after we met. We always knew what the other was thinking and feeling, and I didn't see it, either. For God's sake, _Steve_ had no idea!"

(Deciding to try and allay Sam's family's fears, Capt. Stewart chooses this particular moment to interrupt them.)

"If I may . . . I'm a psychiatrist and a military psychiatrist, at that, and I didn't realize until a few minutes ago that Cmdr. McGarrett, . . Sam, was a victim of Survivor's Guilt. I've seen many soldiers come home from deployments suffering from this syndrome because they had lost friends in combat, but . . We all tend to forget that _any_ kind of traumatic loss can cause Survivor's Guilt. Although, from everything I've read in her service record and been told Sam was very mature for her age, she was, after all, only seventeen when her parents were killed; for all intents and purposes, she was still a child. Her subconscious self felt that, because she had not gone with her parents when they'd both asked her to, she could have, perhaps, prevented their deaths. So, she proceeded to try to "make it up to them" by excelling in her studies and her career. I'm convinced that she wouldn't make as commitment to Steve for so long because she couldn't allow herself to be happy. Thank God that young man refused to give up on her and finally convinced her to marry him else we might not have this chance to help her overcome this. For a while after their marriage, Sam was able to put these feelings of culpability away and enjoy her life, but when she lost her first baby, the one she wasn't aware she was carrying, the guilt began to resurface. Over time, these feelings grew until you, Lt. Williams, were involved in the accident and went into the catatonic state. When Sam talked to you in an effort to bring you out of it and talked about her parents, it brought everything back to the point we're at now. But, she finally realized that she needed to face this problem and stop pushing it away, so, in a sense, you have helped her take the first step toward recovery."

(Caroline takes a few moments to digest what the doctor has just told her and her expression changes from one of despair to one of determination. Taking the few steps necessary to place her directly in front of Capt. Stewart, Caroline looks him straight in the eye.)

"Okay, then, tell me, tell us, what we need to do to help my sister, Capt. Stewart. Tell us how to take away Sam's pain and help her be happy again."

"You're already doing it, Lieutenant. Sam's 'confession' to all of you tonight is the first step in the recovery process. She has, in effect, admitted that she is aware she has a problem. What you all need to do now is tell her that you love her; _show_ her how much she means to each of you just as you have done in the past. She's not going to recover from this overnight; it's going to take some time, and there will be times when she's going to . . Falter, but you all need to remain determined. Now, I'm not saying that you should tip-toe around her and only provide her with positive reinforcement. Much as with you, Lieutenant, she needs to hear the bad as well as the good. If she says or does something that angers you, let her know. If you don't agree with her about something, tell her; but do not treat her with kid gloves. Her husband is going to be a huge part of her recovery, but I don't think any of us have to worry about his willingness to help her. And, of course, I will be seeing Sam for a while to help her, as well. Sam is going to have to forgive herself before she will be able to move forward. Just as it has taken years for her feelings to manifest themselves to the point where she lost rational control this afternoon, it's going to take time for her to reach a point where she can put this behind her and move on with her life."

"Wow, guess I'm going to have to develop some serious patience fairly quickly, and, I gotta tell you, Capt. Stewart, patience is _not_ one of my strong suits."

"Well, then, Lt. Williams, consider this a form of extended therapy for yourself as well as your sister."

(Neither Sam nor Steve has noticed that the others have left the room and neither of them cares. Steve has never been more scared in his entire life and he's urgently trying to get through to Sam. So many thoughts are crashing together in his mind in rapid succession at the moment as a lot of things that Sam has said and done in the past make much more sense now than they did just a few minutes ago. Emotionally, Steve feels like he is hanging on by a very thin thread and he still doesn't know if he's gotten through to Sam. She is trembling in his arms and he's never seen her so tired, so emotionally, mentally, and physically drained in all the time he's known her. It's killing him to see her this way and he doesn't know how to help her so he does the only thing he can think of; he asks for her forgiveness.)

"Sam, Sweetheart, I need to apologize for the way I treated you this afternoon. I should never, _never _have talked to you the way I did; like you were a suspect in an investigation. My only excuse is that I was scared to death that I was losing you, Baby, and I, well, I went a little crazy. You're my life, Sam, and I thought, mistakenly, may I add, that if I took a hard line approach with you, I could make you see reason. I could get you to tell me why you were so upset. I realize now that you couldn't tell me because you really didn't understand what was wrong yourself; not then, anyway. And you were wrong, you know; when you said you didn't deserve me and Emily. I don't deserve you. You're all that's good and right in my world, Sam. You've taught me the real meaning of family and you've brought more love into my life that I ever thought possible. From you, I've learned that I don't have to carry all my worries and burdens alone because I have you to help me. Let me help you now, Sweetheart; let me carry you for a while."

(Sam desperately wants to rid herself of the negative emotions that are churning through her and lose herself in the safety of her husband's strong arms, but she just can't quite let go. She's carried this particular burden around for so long that she doesn't know how to lay it down so she tries to take what comfort she can, even if it's only a brief respite from her torment, and relaxes in Steve's embrace.)

"Hold me, Steve, and never let me go."


	45. Chapter 45

**CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 8, 2013**

(Although Emily has been his primary focus since shortly after arriving at Capt. Stewart's office, Danny hasn't missed a thing and he's heard every word Sam, Capt. Stewart, Steve, Caroline, and his in-laws have said. Danny Williams knows a thing or two about being paralyzed by fear because he came damned close to it himself when they lost little Gabe and he thought he was going to lose Caroline, too. On the surface, he's calm and collected but, inside, his heart is breaking for Steve and Sam, and also for the sweet baby girl he's now holding. Looking down into Emily's little face, Danny decides, then and there, that he's going to step up to the plate and do everything he can to help Sam "find her way home." That he's made the right decision is only reinforced when the beautiful child in his arms reaches up with her little arms and hugs her Uncle Danny. Standing up with his niece in his arms, Danny takes the few steps necessary to bring him to the other end of the room where his wife and in-laws are talking quietly.)

"Hey, Sam and Steve are going to need the rest of tonight and, probably, a good bit of tomorrow, at the very least, so they can work some things out, and this little lady is getting really sleepy. Libby, Mike, you guys have had a lot thrown at you in the past couple of hours and you two need to have a conversation of you own, so Caroline and I are taking Emily home with us. After all, we haven't seen nearly enough of her lately, and it'll be good practice for us both. That okay with you, Gorgeous?"

(His wife and in-laws all look at him in amazement for a moment but Caroline recovers quickly and gets on the same page as her husband, stepping over to take Emily from him and cuddle her as Danny's arm slips around her waist. The meaning of Danny's words _finally_ sink in with Libby and Mike and they glance at one another in concern for a moment before looking back at their daughter, son-in-law, and niece.)

"Good practice? Does this mean that the two of you have decided to try to have another child?"

"Yeah, Mom, it does. Danny and I had a good bit of uninterrupted time to talk while we were out on the boat, and, well, we've both decided that we want to try again."

"Are you two sure you're not rushing things? We've just gotten you back, Caroline, we do not want anything to happen that would upset you again."

"Dad, I promise you and Mom both that this is going to be okay; _I'm_ going to be okay. Danny and I want children of our own and, no, it's not too soon to try again. As long as I have Danny and my family, I'll be okay, promise. And, after a year or so, if we can't have children the usual way, we want to adopt. In the meantime, we have Grace and Emily and Eric to love and be loved by in return."

"Caroline. ."

"I'm not going to go off the deep end again, Daddy; _I'm not_. I'm a lot stronger person than you think I am, and I've finally figured out that I'm not the only person in this equation. Danny went through a great deal of pain and suffering because I was . . Well, a selfish, inconsiderate. . . Bitch."

"Caroline!"

"I was, Danny, and the three of you can try and sugar-coat it all you want, but, when I realized I'd lost the baby, I just gave up! I didn't care about how anyone else, _especially you_, felt. So, okay, there it is, but, I'm not that person anymore and Danny and I are going to be here for each other from now on. _Trust_ us. Please."

(Although they had all been standing, Libby abruptly sits back down, plops down, actually, into her chair again and looks from Caroline to Danny and back again.)

"Daddy and I just want you to be happy, Sweetheart; that's all we've ever wanted for you and Sam. . The two of you are going to have to forgive your father and me, this is your decision; not ours. I hope you both know that your father and I support you in whatever you decide and that we both love you very much."

"Your mother's absolutely right and we're here for you anytime you need us."

(Minutes later, after having kissed the children good night and Caroline, Danny, and Mike have left the room so Emily can say goodnight to her parents and Mike can get her bag from their car for Caroline and Danny, Libby sits alone in the conference room and finds that she feels a little out of control at the moment. Life has thrown her some fairly intense twists and turns over the years but none have been so painful and difficult to deal with than the ones that have taken place over the past couple of months. Libby sends up a quick prayer for all her children as well as one for herself and Mike. When Mike walks back into the room ten minutes later, he finds his wife lost in thought and with an odd expression on her face. Concerned, he kneels down beside the chair in which she's sitting and takes both her hands in his.)

"Libby, are you all right?"

"No, Mike. No, I'm not. I do believe that, once Sam is back on a more even keel, I'm going to schedule some time with Capt. Stewart for myself."


	46. Chapter 46

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 10, 2013**

(Capt. Stewart goes back into his office to find Samantha and Steve McGarrett haven't moved an inch; they are still standing in the same spot they were when he and their family left the room, they still have their arms around one another, and the psychiatrist is positive that the only time they moved apart was the few minutes they both spent holding their daughter and talking to her before she went home with her aunt and uncle. The doctor is encouraged to see that Sam is not crying at the moment and both McGarretts have more color in their faces that they did earlier. Although the couple moves slightly apart and sits down on one of the sofas in the room, one of Steve's arms instantly goes around Sam's shoulders and he laces the fingers of his other hand with one of hers.)

"I'm glad to see that you both appear to be feeling better; especially you, Sam."

"I am feeling better, Capt. Stewart. For the first time in quite a while, I don't feel so . . alone."

"You were never alone, Sam; you never will be because I'm always going to be here with and for you. I'm so sorry that I didn't realize what was happening with you before now."

"The rest of your family will also continue to be here for you, Commander, as will I. Your recovery isn't going to happen overnight, and I will be meeting with you until I am satisfied that you no longer need my services."

"I appreciate that, Capt. Stewart, because, as much as I'd like to think I'm strong enough to get through this on my own, I know better. I came very close to completely destroying my marriage . . . My _life_ this afternoon and I don't ever again want to do anything that would put me in danger of losing Steve."

"You have nothing to worry about, Beautiful. I won't let you push me away; ever. And we will get through this, Sam."

"Well, it's getting late, and I can see that the two of you don't need me to help you sort through your feelings for one another. I want to see you in my office tomorrow at . . . 0900 hours, Cmdr. McGarrett. Is that a good time for you?"

"It is. I'll be flying out to the Coral Seas at 1300 hours to observe some of my new pilots executing "touch and gos", but I'll clear anything I need to from my schedule so that I can be here at 0900. . . I'm going to have to talk with Adm. Henderson about this, so I'll do that first thing in the morning."

"Adm. Henderson is already aware of this situation, Commander. I spoke with him right after I called your family and asked them to come to the base tonight."

"Yeah, I should have realized that, Captain. So, maybe I need to call the Admiral tonight; he probably wants to put me on leave."

"On the contrary, Commander. Adm. Henderson was very understanding about everything and all he asked is that I keep him updated on your progress."

"He's . . He's not placing me on medical leave pending the outcome of the psych evals I'm sure are coming my way?"

"No, he isn't, and, the only psych evaluation that's coming your way is mine. If I believe you are incapable of carrying out your duties and responsibilities as CAG and 2IC of this base, I'll let the Admiral know immediately. You've been doing an admirable job thus far, however, and I see no need to relieve you of duty as this point. Now, I'll see you in the morning, Commander, but feel free to call me before then should you need me for anything."

"Capt. Stewart, I can't begin to tell you how very much I appreciate you agreeing to come back to your office tonight. Thank you, Sir."

"You're welcome, Cmdr. McGarrett. I'm just glad that you made the decision to share what was upsetting you with your family. You have a lot of people who care about you, Commander, don't be afraid to talk to them; about anything."

"I won't, Sir."

"I'd also like to thank you, Capt. Stewart, and I want to assure you that, now that we know why Sam's been acting so out of character lately, we'll definitely do whatever we can to help her work through this."

"I know you will, Commander. I also hope you know that my door is open anytime _you_ want or need to talk. Situations like this take a lot out of people so don't hesitate to call me if you feel I can help."

"I won't, Capt. Stewart. Thank you."

"Good. Now, I'll make your excuses to Adm. and Mrs. Thrasher so you two just go right on home. I'm sure you probably have a great deal to discus and you both need some rest. I'll see you in the morning, Commander."

(Neither Sam nor Steve needs to be told twice and they are soon on their way home. . . Stepping back across the hall to the small conference room, Capt. Stewart finds Mike Thrasher squatting down beside a chair in which his wife is sitting with a somewhat troubled expression on his face. As for Libby, she looks a little "shell-shocked" and the psychiatrist has no trouble understanding why. Putting what he hopes is an encouraging expression on his face, Capt. Stewart invites Mike to take a seat next to his wife while he, himself, slides into a chair directly opposite Libby.)

"Well, Mrs. Thrasher, I'm certain you and the Admiral have some questions for me and, perhaps, a few things you'd like to discuss, as well. I know it's late, but I think you'll both sleep better if we get some of this out of the way now, so . . Fire away."


	47. Chapter 47

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 10, 2013**

(The drive home is quiet for Sam and Steve, but he holds her hand all the way and sends reassuring glances in her direction every chance he gets to do so safely. Sam expresses a desire to take a blanket and go down to the beach for a while and Steve, knowing that the beach behind their house is one of his wife's favorite places to go when she's stressed, willingly agrees. Five minutes later, they are sitting quietly just absorbing the peaceful sound of waves gently washing upon the shore. Though they are sitting close, they are not touching, and Steve knows Sam wants to talk although he also knows he needs to be patient until she's ready to begin. His patience is rewarded a few minutes later.)

"I'm sorry, Steve. I know that's a pretty lame apology, but . . . Do you know how precious you and Emily are to me? I would rather die than hurt either one of you. When I think of what I've put you through since the day I met you, I could . . . Right now, I don't understand myself. I know that, logically, I'm not responsible for my parents' deaths, but, in my heart, I can't help but feel that they would still be alive if I had just gone with them to look at that property."

"Sam, there's no guarantee they would have lived. For all we know, you could have died that night, too. Let me ask you something, Sam. . . Do you believe your parents would have wanted you to die? Do you think they would have wanted you to blame yourself for what happened? They loved you, Baby; they would only want good things for you. Do you remember the dream I told you about when I was shot, the one where I 'saw' your parents talking to mine and to me while I was unconscious?"

"Yeah, Steve, I remember."

"Your mom told me that you were a very special young woman, and your dad said you were very precious and unique. Sounds like to me they loved you very much and were very proud of the woman you had become. If your parents don't blame you for what happened, Sam, how can you blame yourself?"

"You had a dream, Steve."

"Yes, I had a dream, but I think it was more than that, Sam. I didn't know your parents' names until I had that dream, and later, when I saw pictures of your parents, they were the people I saw in my dream."

"Steve."

"You did nothing wrong, Sam, you did nothing to cause your parents to die, and you've got to believe that because it's the truth. Blake Moore is the person who is responsible for killing Anne and Jonathan Murdock and, while he's never been charged with their deaths, he is serving a life sentence in federal prison for the conspiracy he was involved in with Thorne. He is being punished, Sam, and you've got to stop punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. Emily and I need you, Baby, and so do Libby and Mike and Caroline. Not one of them thinks you're to blame for what happened to your parents and they all love you very much. _I_ love you, Sam, forever and always."

"This isn't easy for me, Steve. For so many years, I've felt guilty about not agreeing to go with them on that trip. I . . I can't just . . Let it go. It's going to take some time."

"Yeah, I get that, Sam, and I'm going to be right here with you no matter how long it takes. All I ask is that you tell me anytime, no matter what time of the day or night, if you start to feel like you're losing control. I can't help you if you won't let me, Sam, so, please . . Promise me."

(Sam turns her head to look into Steve's beautiful eyes and she sees as the love and concern he has in his heart for her visible there. For the first time in a very long time, Sam actually feels the first stirrings of hope that all will be right with her world again and she reaches out to gently touch his face.)

"I promise. I don't know what I'd do without you, Steve; you and Emily. I hope I never have to find out."

"You won't."

"Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Can we just sit out here for a while?"

"Yeah, Sam. We can do whatever you want."

(And for the next hour or so they simply enjoy the moonlight, soft breeze, and the love they share. When they finally do go back up to the house, Steve holds Sam tightly when they go to bed and prays that Sam can put all this behind her and they can move on with their lives. . .

When Libby and Mike get home, it is Libby who takes a glass of Scotch outside and stands on their back deck sipping it slowly as she looks out the waves crashing on the shore. Feeling it a little strange that their roles are reversed on this particular occasion, Mike isn't quite sure what to do. Finally, he decides to do what his wife would do and, after stepping outside to give Libby a hug and kiss and tell her he's there for her, he heads upstairs to bed. Libby sends her husband off to bed with a small smile before strolling over to sit down on the loveseat and think back over every, single detail of what happened when Anne and Jonathan Murdock died and every, single conversation she's had with Sam since then. An hour or so later, Libby has decided that she isn't going to find any answers to the questions she has this way and heads up to bed herself.)


	48. Chapter 48

**CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 10, 2013**

(Danny leans in the doorway of the nursery he and Caroline had prepared for their baby and watches his wife as she stands at the baby bed and gazes lovingly down at her sleeping niece. For a moment, pain slices through him when he thinks of the son they lost, but he pushes his sadness away. He and Caroline have decided that, while they will always love and miss the child they lost, they aren't going to allow themselves to drift apart. They are going to do their best to recover from the loss of their son and pray that they will have a child of their own soon. Taking the few steps necessary to bring him to Caroline's side, Danny slips an arm around her slender waist and he, too, gazes down at Emily's sleeping form with a smile on his face.)

"I'm glad we didn't get in a big hurry to donate this furniture to the domestic shelter, Danny. I'm ashamed to admit that I hadn't thought about where Emily was going to sleep when she stayed with us, and well, now that we've decided to try and have another baby, we really need to keep everything. Unless, you don't want to . . ."

"I want to, Caroline. I mean, we already have everything so, yeah, we should keep it."

"Emily is so beautiful."

"Yeah, she is. Looks just like her mother."

"She does look like Sam, but I think she looks a lot like Steve, too. 'Course, it would probably kill you to admit that you see anything of Steve in Emily."

"No, it wouldn't and she looks a little like her Daddy, too. I just think that, because Emily is a girl, she looks more like Sam."

"Unbelievable."

(Danny takes a good look at his wife and he sees a touch of sadness in her eyes as she looks at their niece.)

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Danny. I'm worried about my sister, but I know that she has Steve and he's not about to let her do anything to screw up, so, yeah, I'm good. How about you?"

"I'm good. I have you back, Gorgeous."

"Yes, you do, Danny, and I promise you I'm not going to leave you ever again."

"Good. . . . So, Mrs. Williams, what do you say we leave the little Princess here to her sweet dreams and go make some of our own?"

"Danny, really? What if Emily wakes up and hears. ."

"Caroline, Emily is way too young to understand what, if anything, she might hear should she wake up and, besides, when we do have another child, what's your plan for keeping our baby from hearing something?"

"Good point, Romeo. 'Kay, then, head on into our bedroom so we can make sure the baby monitor is working. I'm right behind you."

(Libby still can't sleep when she goes up to bed and, after ten minutes of her tossing and turning, Mike can't stand it any longer and turns on the lamp on his bedside table.)

"All right, Libby, out with it."

"Out with what, Mike?"

"Don't you dare try to pull that 'Out with what, Mike' crap on me, Libby Thrasher. Something's on your mind and it's obviously bothering you to the point you can't sleep, which means _I'm_ not going to sleep, so . . Out with it."

"Fine. If you must know, Michael, I'm furious with myself for not seeing what Sam was going through all these years. I've gone over everything that happened when Anne and Jonathan died and in the years since, and I simply cannot understand why I couldn't see something was wrong with that sweet child."

"Libby, Caroline said it fairly clearly earlier. . Even _Steve_ didn't know that Sam was suffering from survivor's guilt so how were we supposed to see it? Sam wouldn't say anything to us because she thought we blamed her for losing our best friends, and she wouldn't say anything to Caroline because she thought Caroline blamed her for forcing her to share us."

"Of all the ridiculous ideas. . ."

"It wasn't ridiculous to Sam, Libby."

(Libby hears the same remorse she's feeling in Mike's quietly spoken words and turns her head to meet his eyes. Now Libby is feeling guilty for upsetting her husband more than he already is and she turns on her side to face him, smiling when he does the very same thing. After all these years of marriage, they know each other pretty well.)

"What do we _do_, Mike? How do we help Sam move past this?"

"By doing exactly what Capt. Stewart told us to, Libby. We simply continue loving Sam the way we always have and we reassure her that what happened to Anne and Jonathan was _not_ her fault."

"Yes, but is that going to be enough? It's not just Sam I'm worried about here, Mike, but Steve and Emily, too. Not to mention the rest of us."

"And there's your answer, Libby."

"What do you mean?"

"There are very few things I can categorically state as fact, but one of them is the fact that Sam loves Steve and Emily more than anyone or anything else in this world and she's not about to do anything that would cause her to lose them. In fact, she's going to do everything she possibly can to make sure she _doesn't_ lose them. And don't, for one second, think that Steve isn't going to do everything he possibly can to help her through this. That boy loves our girl; she's his world and he's not about to lose her, but, the reason I _know_ Sam's going to be okay is Emily."

"Emily?"

"Yes, Libby, Emily. That beautiful little bundle of energy who's the spitting image of both Sam and Steve is going to be her mother's salvation."


	49. Chapter 49

**CHAPTER FORTY-NINE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 11, 2013**

(Steve awakens just before daybreak to find that Sam is standing by their bedroom window looking out toward the ocean. The site of her slender, shapely form silhouetted by the lacy, peach-colored gown she is wearing instantly causes every nerve ending in his body to come to attention, but he eases out of their bed and slowly walks up behind his wife slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her back against the rock hard muscles of his chest. Sam's arms rest on top of his and she allows her head to fall back onto his shoulder as they both take a moment to really appreciate the chance to simply hold one another. When Steve speaks, his warm breath fans across Sam's cheek and sends shivers of desire shooting through her.)

"How long have you been awake, Beautiful?"

"Not long. I'm sorry, Steve, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay, Baby. Sleep is way overrated, anyway. I'd rather hold you."

"Yeah, I kind of like it, too, Sailor. . . Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"I want . . I want to go to Arlington. . I want, . . I _need_ to go to my parents' graves. Will you go with me?"

"Of course, I will, Sweetheart. I'd do anything for you."

" 'Kay. I was thinking that we could go this coming weekend. I get off-duty at 1500 Thursday and don't have to report back until 0700 Monday. That good for you?"

"Yeah, Sam, that works for me."

"I want Emily to go with us, Steve."

"No problem."

"I . . I can't promise you that I'm not going to, you know, freak out or anything."

"It's okay, Sam. Emily and I will be right there. Do what you have to do, Baby; it'll be okay."

"Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Beautiful."

"It's early, Sam. Come back to bed."

"Not enough time to go back to sleep."

"There's more than enough time for me to make love to you."

(Sam turns in Steve's arms so that she can lift her face to his for the kiss she wants as desperately as he does and that's all it takes. Sweeping her up into his strong arms, he gently lays her on their bed and covers her body with his with he kisses her senseless. Sam is becoming more heated with each passing second and, when Steve shifts to one side and one of his large hands skims down her silk-clad body to encompass her breast and his thumb flicks back and forth across the nipple, she moans her approval. Not to be outdone, Sam slowly slides her palms down his broad, muscular back until she reaches his buttocks and then slips one between their bodies to touch the silken steel of his erection. His sharp gasp lets her know she has his full attention, and she uses her other hand to push him over onto his back moving with him so that she ends up straddling him. Steve's hands swiftly move to lift the gown over her head and Sam is right there to help him. Once she has thrown the offending garment to the floor, Sam looks down at Steve and a slow, sensual smile curves her full lips as she gazes at the expression on his face. From her vantage point, Steve looks like a man who's dying of need and she's the only person in the world who can give him what he wants. That her supposition is, in fact, the absolute truth only adds to the desire sweeping through her. Ever so slowly, Sam slides her body down until he is fully inside her and _that_ puts an expression of need on her face. Steve lets her set the pace of their lovemaking for a little while, but, when he can take no more, he flips her onto her back and increases the rhythm of their movements until they are both gasping for air, their sweat-slickened bodies moving in perfect unison, until they both fall over the edge of the abyss into sweet oblivion together. Minutes later, when they are capable of moving, Steve shifts off Sam and pulls her close while pulling the covers over them both.)

"I love you, Sam, with all my heart and I always will. I'm here for you, Sweetheart."

"I know you are, Steve. If it weren't for you, I probably would have lost it a long time ago. You're my rock . . In any storm and I love you so much."

"Sam . . Please, Baby, don't ever be afraid to talk to me about anything. You're my best friend, Sweetheart, and I'm pretty sure I'm yours. Best friends tell each other everything, so . . Tell me from now on. 'Kay?"

" 'Kay. Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Think we have enough time to make love again before we have to get ready for work?"

"Oh, yeah."

(And they proceed to do just that. When they leave the house, Sam for the base and Steve for the Palace, they are both wearing smiles and are sending each other flirty, little looks. For the first time in a long time, Steve can detect none of the shadows that were haunting Sam's beautiful emerald green eyes in weeks past, and he feels better than he has in weeks. Keeping Sam's request to go to Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia and visit her parents' graves in mind, Steve makes a call to a friend of his who happens to own a private airline. Once Steve has explained the situation, his friend, who was one of Steve's BUD/S instructors, is more than glad to grant Steve's request. Less than thirty seconds after completing that call, Steve is on the phone with his father-in-law and, once Mike understands what it is Steve is trying to do, he's fully on board with Steve's plan and is making a couple of calls of his own. Satisfied that he has things well in hand, Steve is in a very good mood when he arrives at the Five-0 offices and heads straight into Danny's office.)

"Hey, how's my daughter this morning?"

"My niece is just fine. In fact, she looked like she was going to cry when I dropped her off to Rosa at Kono's and Tony's. Emily loves her Uncle Danny."

"Emily loves everybody, Danny"

"Whatever. After everything that happened last night you seem to be in a very good mood. What's up?"

"I've got a little surprise planned for Sam and I need your help."

"I've got a little surprise of my own planned for Sam and I _don't_ need your help."

"Danny. ."

"Steven."


	50. Chapter 50

**CHAPTER FIFTY**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 13, 2013**

(For the next couple of days, everything runs smoothly for the Five-0 ohana and Steve and Mike quietly go about implementing their plans for Sam's surprise. Sam continues to see Capt. Stewart and, between the therapy sessions with him, the loving encouragement of her husband and family, and Emily being her Mommy's sweet baby girl, Sam is more relaxed and upbeat than she's been in quite some time. The only snag occurs when Sam tells Steve that she's called several airlines and can't get their flights to and from Washington scheduled within reasonable time frames. Steve finally convinces Sam that he'll take care of making their travel arrangements and she finally agrees to let him. Two days before they are supposed to leave for Washington, Danny calls Sam and invites her to go to lunch with him; just the two of them. Both Steve and Caroline are fully aware that Danny wants to take Sam to lunch and they're both more than okay with it except neither of them knows exactly _why_ Danny wants to talk to Sam alone. Sam, too, is a little baffled by Danny's invitation, but she agrees to go _and_ to take the extra hour for lunch that Danny requested. Danny picks his sister-in-law up at the base and they have lunch at a small but lovely seafood restaurant not far from the base and, once they've finished eating, Danny suggests they go for a walk on the beach. Steve isn't the only one who knows the ocean washing up on the shore in gentle waves is one of Sam's favorite things. After they've moved a short distance away from the restaurant, Danny gets to the heart of the matter.)

"So, okay, I'm sure you're dying to know why I invited you to lunch."

"Well, _'dying'_ isn't exactly the right word but I am more than a little curious, Danny. Why _did_ you ask me to have lunch with you?"

"Things haven't been easy for any of us lately, Sam, and, well, I wanted you to know that you're not alone; you don't have to try and deal with the survivor's guilt thing all by yourself."

"I know that, Danny. I'm seeing Capt. Stewart, I have Steve and Emily, and you and Caroline, and Mom and Dad, and Kono and Tony, and Lana and Chin, and . . . I have a lot of people who care about me and want to help me through this and I truly appreciate each and every one of them."

"No, Sam, you don't understand. I know exactly how you've been feeling because, well, _I_ have been through survivor's guilt myself."

"You . . What?"

"Rachel had just told me she was pregnant with Grace and I was on top of the world. I spent most of my time daydreaming about the pregnancy. Things like, would we have a girl or a boy, would the baby look like Rachel or like me or like both of us, what I was going to do if we had a boy like teach him all about football and baseball and how I was going to coach his first little league team, or, if we had a girl, I was already planning on how I was going to interrogate any little boy who came within a mile of my daughter."

(And Sam can't help it; she lets loose with a little giggle, but Danny's next words cause her to sober up pretty damned fast.)

"The point is, I was so preoccupied with our baby, that I didn't pay attention when things went south at work. At least, I _thought_ I wasn't paying attention. . . About two weeks after Rachel told me she was pregnant, my partner and I were pulling an all-night surveillance on a suspect who happened to be the right-hand man to a mob boss, a guy named Roberto Albertini, we were trying to arrest for ordering the murder of a federal judge. Around three o'clock in the morning, the guy left his apartment and headed for the warehouse district. See, we had a mole on the inside who called and gave us a 'heads up' that the guy was going to meet his boss and they were going to be finalizing plans for the murder of _another_ federal judge. We called for back-up as soon as we started following him and were told they were on the way."

(Sam and Danny have stopped walking and Danny is looking out at the ocean with a far away expression in his eyes. The expression on his face tells Sam that whatever it is he's about to tell her is going to be bad; very bad.)

"We got to the warehouse before our back-up arrived and Mac decided we'd try and get close enough to hear what was going on. We'd already checked in with dispatch and were told our back-up should be there in about five minutes, so off we went. Mac and I eased up to the building and split up. Mac went around the back and I moved closer to the front door. Sure enough, I could hear the perps inside talking. The guy we were after, along with about six of his lieutenants were in there talking about how they'd killed the first judge and what their plans were for killing the second one. . . And then, it got really quiet; too quiet. A couple of minutes later, Albertini 'invited' me to come inside and join them. To make sure I complied, he had two of his goons open the door for me. When they did, . "

"Danny."

"When they did, I saw Mac being held by two more goons and looking scared to death. Albertini was standing there in his three thousand dollar suit with a smile on his face and holding a damned big knife against Mac's throat. He told me to put my gun down slowly and carefully or he'd kill Mac. So, I did what he told me to only . . . Only he slit Mac's throat anyway and laughed while I watched my partner bleed to death."

"Oh, Danny."

"Our back-up had finally arrived by that point, along with a S.W.A.T. team, and they took out most of the other guys and wounded Albertini, but . . It was too late for Mac. . . An hour later, I went with our Captain and the Departmental Chaplain to Mac's house. I had to tell Mac's six year old son that his mother was never coming home again. See, Mac was short for MacKenzie; MacKenzie Simpson, my partner. Her husband was a Marine who had been killed in a training exercise a couple of years earlier and it was just her and her son. They lived with her mother."

(By now, Sam is crying and she grabs Danny, who also has tears in his eyes, and hugs him tightly.)

"Danny, you didn't have any choice! If you hadn't of done what this Albertini told you, he would have killed Mac while one of his goons killed _you._ Mac's death wasn't your fault, Danny!"

"Yeah, Sam, I _finally_ figured that out but it took me a Hell of a long time and I'm pretty sure that the survivor's guilt I went through is what was the beginning of the end for my marriage to Rachel. The Department shrink, my Captain, Hell, even the Chief of Detectives kept telling me that, since Mac was my supervisor, I was following the orders she gave me and it wasn't my fault that she died. It took a long, long time but I finally realized that they were right. And you're right, too, Sam; if I had tried to keep my weapon, they would have shot and killed me and Grace wouldn't have her father. . What I'm trying to say here, is I understand exactly what you've been living with for all these years, and I want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime, day or night, if you feel yourself starting to backslide. God only knows how many times I did before I was finally able to put it behind me and move on with my life."

"What finally got through to you?"

"Not 'what'; who. Grace. And just like my daughter helped me, Emily will help you, too, Sam. Just remember, I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you, Danny. I'm so sorry for what happened and that you just had to put yourself through reliving it, but I'm extremely glad you're my brother-in-law."

"We're all family, Sam, and family sticks together; no matter what."


	51. Chapter 51

**CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 14, 2013**

**A/N: Hello, everyone. I should have posted this not at the beginning of the last chapter so please forgive my "boo boo". My HF-0 stories are A/U so they are not very close to canon. Hence, in this storyline, the things about Danny's background that have been revealed in the actual series are not necessarily things that have happened in "my" Danny's background. Sorry if there was any confusion. Thank you all for continuing to read and review! Michelle**

(Sam is already at home when Steve gets there that night and the mouth-watering aroma of his wife's pot roast greets him as he opens the front door. A second later, his beautiful little daughter is screaming 'Daddy' at the top of her lungs and running, full-tilt, toward him on her sturdy little legs. Scooping Emily up into his arms and getting a couple of sweet kisses, Steve walks into the kitchen and, sliding his free arm around Sam's waist, pulls her close for more than a kiss on the cheek. Emily, one little arm around her Daddy's neck and the other around her Mommy's, "pulls" her parents apart so she can wriggle out of Steve's arms and return to the movie she was watching when he came through the door. Steve thinks this is a most excellent idea on his daughter's part because he now has both arms free to wrap around his wife and Sam complies by pulling his face down to hers for a much more welcoming kiss.)

"Hey, Sailor, have a good day?"

"I had a great day, Beautiful. How'd your lunch with Danny go? I mean, he came back to the office so you obviously didn't kill him."

"Steve, Danny . . Bared his soul to me today."

"As long as that's the only thing he bared to you."

"Steve! Pay attention; you're about to learn something about our brother-in-law that just might make you stop and think the next time you want to pick a fight with him."

(And Sam proceeds to tell Steve everything Danny told her. When she's through, the expression on Steve's face does, indeed, reflect understanding.)

"Wow. I had no idea."

"Neither did I, and I'll bet you Caroline doesn't know, either."

"Yeah, she does, Sam, or, rather, she will. Danny wouldn't tell you something like that and then not tell his own wife."

"He's a good guy, Steve. He didn't have to share any of that with me, but he did it because, and I quote, 'We're all family, Sam, and family sticks together; no matter what.'"

"Did it help?"

"Yeah, I think it did. So, lay off of Danny for a while, okay?"

"I'll try, Beautiful, but I'm not making any promises."

"Speaking of promises, have you got our flight arrangements handled yet?"

"Actually, Sam, I have. Remember Rob Stanton?"

"Yeah, he was one of your BUD/S instructors and now he owns a private airline. Oh my God, Steve, did you arrange for us to fly to Washington on one of his private jets?"

"Sort of. We _are _going to be flying on one of Rob's jets, but we have to provide the pilots."

"Well, duh, you're married to one, but who else can we get on such short notice?"

"Your Dad's taken care of that, Sam. He called in a favor and Lt. Cmdr. Monroe is going to be your co-pilot."

"Steve McGarrett, you are absolutely the sweetest, most considerate man alive."

"I love you, too, Sam. We're good to take off Thursday at 1600 hours, fly to Denver arriving there around 2300 hours. We'll spend the night in Denver, take off from there at 0700 hours Friday morning, and arrive in D.C. at 1030 hours. Mike's already taken care of overnight accommodations for us and Merlin and he's also got us all in the Visiting Officer's Quarters at Fort Meyer and he's taken care of a rental car, too."

"You and my father have been busy boys. Anything else I should know about?"

Nope, I think that about covers it. Except, of course, for the fact that I love you very much, Mrs. McGarrett."

(Danny finds that Caroline has beaten him home and already has dinner started when he gets there. Caroline, adding some spices to the stew she's cooking, glances up and immediately senses that something's a little "off" with her husband. Putting the lid back on the pot and setting down the spoon she was using, she turns and takes the three steps necessary to give Danny a hug and kiss.)

"Uh oh. . I know that look."

"What look?"

"_That_ look."

"Okay, Caroline, you're going to have to a teensy bit more specific here."

"Fine. The look that says, 'I've got something important on my mind.' It's on your face right now, Danny. Give."

(And Danny proceeds to tell Caroline exactly what he told Sam earlier in the day. By the time he's through, Caroline is looking at her husband in a totally different way and hugging him tightly.)

"Oh my God, Danny, I don't think I could love you anymore if I tried. I'm so, so sorry that you had to go through that experience, but . . . Thank you so very much for telling me and for telling Sam. Now she knows she has someone close she can talk to who's been exactly where she is right now."

"I want to help Sam if I can, but I did it for you, Caroline. After I almost lost you . . I hope you know that I will do anything for you. If it means I have to remember some things in my life that were . . Difficult, well, then so be it."

"Yeah, Romeo, I get that. Me, too."


	52. Chapter 52

**CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 17, 2013**

(The night before the McGarretts are supposed to leave for Washington, Libby and Mike host a family dinner at their house and they've invited the entire family. Sam seems to be more like her old self as she laughs along with Kono as they watch Emily and Eric chasing one another and Grace around the Thrasher's den while Steve and Tony are out on the back deck with Mike, Danny, and Chin. Caroline and Lana are helping in the kitchen, and Libby is at peace for the first time in a long time. Although Rosa was invited, too, she graciously declined the invitation as she had a date with a very nice gentleman who happens to be the pharmacist at Rosa's drugstore. Of course, Steve checked the guy out, at Rosa's request as she is still not too trusting, and was glad he could tell the lady they've all become so fond of that the man really was a good guy. Looking around the den and out the kitchen window and seeing all her children and grandchildren, laughing and relaxed, gives Libby a very happy inner calm. Deciding that it's time for the steaks she's had marinating to go on the grill, she grabs the container and threads her way through three giggling children to the deck. Once there, she gives the steaks to her husband and then hugs Steve.)

"I think what you're doing for Sam is wonderful, Steve. I'm so very glad you're my son-in-law."

"I love her, Libby."

"I know you do, Son, but there are a lot of people, a lot of men who wouldn't understand what Sam's been going through. Most of them would just walk away."

"I'm not most men, Libby, and I will never walk away from Sam. Ever. I can't."

"I know. I also heard about what Danny did. My girls are the luckiest two women on Earth to have you and Danny. Think I'll go over there and tell him how much I appreciate what he did."

(And Libby does just that while Steve helps Mike get the steaks on the grill.)

"She's right, you know. You boys are exceptional; we couldn't have asked for better husbands for our girls."

"Your daughters are pretty exceptional, too, Mike. I'd say Danny and I got the better end of the deal."

"Not according to our girls. 'Course, the four of you are blindsided by love, so . . . "

"And you're not, Mike?"

"Now that was a stupid question, wasn't it, Son?"

(After a wonderful dinner that is completely free of anything negative, the McGarretts tell everyone goodnight, with Sam hugging both Libby and Mike very tightly, and head home. The next afternoon, they are at the terminal of the Honolulu airport reserved for private flights at 1430 hours so that Sam and Merlin can file their flight plan, check the weather reports, run their pre-flight, and be ready to take off at 1600 hours. Emily quickly feel asleep once they were in Steve's truck and on the way to the airport, and she is sleeping like a little dark-haired angel in her Daddy's arms while her Mommy takes care of business. Sitting in the plush terminal while Sam and Lt. Cmdr. Monroe get everything taken care of, Steve looks down at his daughter and smiles as she sighs in her sleep. Although she has his dark hair and eye color, she is pure Sam in Steve's opinion and he couldn't be happier. He remembers Danny teasing him in Sam's hospital room the night Emily was born about Steve now having a daughter of his own to worry about. At the time, Steve knew Danny was just trying to get a rise out of him, but, as he gazes at Emily's long, dark lashes lying against the soft skin of her cheek, her nose that is a miniature of Sam's, and her sweet little mouth that is also his wife's, he realizes that he will do whatever it takes to protect his child. A small pang of fear darts through him as he also realizes that there are going to be boys in his daughter's future and some of them are going to break her heart; a thought which sends a fierce sense of protectiveness through him as well. Placing a soft kiss on Emily's silky hair, Steve sends up a quick prayer that his daughter will, one day, have a brave and honorable man in her life who loves her as much as he loves her mother. Sam and Lt. Cmdr. Monroe walk up just in time to see Steve cuddle Emily closer, and a sweet smile spreads across Sam's face.)

"Hey, Sailor, you ready to board?"

"Yeah, I have a feeling Emily is going to sleep all the way to Denver."

"She'd better not else she'll keep us awake all night. The plane Rob's letting us use has a couple of jump seats in the cockpit and I think we'll be able to secure Emily's carrier to one of them, so you guys can spend some time with us if you want."

"Sounds like a plan, Beautiful. How about we do that now? I can always take Emily back to the passenger cabin when she wakes up if she wants to do a little running around."

"Okay, then, I guess we're ready to board so Merlin and I can run the pre-flight."

"Go ahead, Beautiful. Merlin can help me with Emily's carrier since the ground crew already loaded our luggage."

(Steve waits until Sam is through the door leading from the terminal to the tarmac before he looks over at Lt. Cmdr. Monroe who is just reaching for Emily's carrier.)

"I know Mike and Sam have probably already said this, but I want to thank you for being Sam's co-pilot on this trip. After all, this is a personal trip completely unrelated to anything military, and you're not getting paid, so . . I really appreciate you going."

"You're welcome, Sir. I hope you know I'd do anything for your wife. She's the best C.O. I've ever served under. And you're wrong, you know. . Adm. Thrasher is covering my meals and lodging for this trip, but the most important 'payment' I'm getting is the fact that I can _do_ something to help Cmdr. McGarrett get through this 'rough spot'. Anyone on the base would do anything for her, Sir; we all think the world of her."

"So do I. And, since this _is_ a personal trip, how about you drop the 'Sir' and call me Steve."

"Done, Si. . Steve; if you'll call me Joe."

"Agreed. Now, I think we'd better get ourselves on board that aircraft so we can get in the air."

(Everything goes very smoothly on the flight and, once awake from her nap, Emily has taken to flying like a duck to water. Steve has a strong feeling that she's going to follow in her mother's footsteps one day judging by the absolute delight she displayed when he took her back to the passenger cabin and they spent some time looking out the plane's windows. They are in luck with some good tailwinds and land in Denver a little ahead of schedule. Mike has done his job well, and it isn't long before Sam, Steve, Emily, and Joe Monroe are settled in comfortable rooms at a motel not too far from the airport. Emily is the only one who's eaten anything since Rob Stanton made sure the plane's galley was well-stocked with foods Emily particularly likes after talking with Steve. Emily fell asleep on the ride from the airport to the hotel and is now sleeping peacefully in her portable baby bed in Sam's and Steve's room and Steve and Joe make a quick run to a Mexican restaurant for take-out for themselves and Sam. Their dinner conversation consists of Sam and Joe telling Steve some interesting and amusing stories about some of their newer pilots but they don't linger because they have an early flight in the morning and a long day ahead of them.)


	53. Chapter 53

**CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 17, 2013**

**A/N: I would like to give a huge "Thank You!" to Runner043 for the main idea for this chapter. Runner and I have been exchanging private messages and her idea was WAY, WAY, WAY, better than mine! Thank you very much, Ma'am; you are awesome! I hope I can do justice to your suggestion! Michelle**

(The flight from Denver to Washington goes as smoothly as the one from Honolulu to Denver and there is a rental car waiting when they arrive in D.C. They head out to Ft. Meyer and find that, once again, Mike has done his job well. The McGarretts have a suite and Lt. Cmdr. Monroe has a very nice, large room and they get settled in relatively quickly. When Sam unzips their hanging bag and starts moving the clothes to the closet in their bedroom, she pauses a moment when she finds Steve's service dress blues in the bag and further investigation finds his cover at the bottom. Puzzled, she turns to walk into the living room of their suite to ask him why he brought his uniform and finds that he's standing in the doorway of the bedroom holding their daughter with a somewhat serious expression on his face.)

"I brought it because your dad was a naval officer, your parents are buried at Arlington, and, well, I just wanted to pay them the proper amount of respect, Sam. Joe brought his, as well. If you keep digging, you'll find yours in there, too, and your cover is beneath mine, although, as their daughter, I think the black dress you put in there will work. It's up to you what you decide to wear when we go out to Arlington."

(Sam is deeply touched by Steve's thoughtfulness and she has to take a moment to compose herself before she can speak. Walking over to him, she first kisses Emily and receives a smile and a kiss in return. When she looks up to meet her husband's eyes, she sees the love he has for her there and reaches up to gently touch his face.)

"What did I ever do to deserve you, Steve?"

"I'm the one who should be asking that question, Sam. My life was pretty messed up before I met you. You've made it possible for me to know that I'm not alone in this world and won't ever be. You and Emily are my life, and I will love you forever and then some."

"I love you, too, Steve; always and forever."

(And Steve leans down and kisses Sam in a manner that leaves no doubt in her mind that she is one lucky woman. Their moment is interrupted by a knock on the door to their suite and Steve and Emily let Joe Monroe in while Sam continues to hang up their clothes. A few minutes later, Sam joins them and they discuss their schedule for the day. Sam takes Emily from Steve and is so involved with playing with her beautiful little girl that she misses the look he and Joe Monroe exchange.)

"I think the first thing we should do is decide where we're going to eat lunch. Emily's going to be getting hungry in an hour or so and she's one cranky young lady when she gets hungry."

"No, Sam, Emily does not get cranky; she gets down right difficult. How about we grab some lunch, come back here and change, and head on over to Arlington?"

"Sounds like a plan. That okay with you, Merlin?"

"Yes, Ma'am, that works for me."

"Okay, first of all, none of us are on duty so drop the 'Ma'am', and, secondly, I agree with Steve. While we're on this trip, it's 'Sam'; not 'Commander', not 'Ma'am'. Deal?"

"Deal."

(All during lunch, Steve watches as Sam gets more and more quiet as the time to visit her parents' graves draws nearer; not even Emily's antics can keep her mother smiling for too long. Steve knows this visit is going to be very painful for Sam, but he also realizes that it is necessary and he's praying that what he has planned will help ease her pain somewhat. . .

A little before two o'clock that afternoon, Steve drives their rental car onto the grounds at Arlington National Cemetery and, having already looked up and memorized the route to the Murdock's graves, heads to that section. Even though he and Joe Monroe are wearing their uniforms, Sam opted for the simple, sleeveless, black dress she brought. Joe is doing a great job keeping Emily distracted in the back seat which is a good thing because Steve can practically see Sam getting more and more tense the closer they get to their destination. Sam is holding two long-stemmed white roses in her hands and her knuckles are almost white from gripping the stems so tightly. As they draw near to the section where her parents are buried, Sam sees that there are several cars parked on the side of the road and a group of people standing about twenty yards away. As Steve parks the car, she turns her head with a look of shock on her face. Turning off the ignition, he turns to face his wife.)

"Steve?"

"I knew this was going to be hard for you, Sam, and I wanted to do whatever I could to ease your pain. I asked our family to join us here today and the same Navy Chaplain who officiated at your parents' funerals is also with them. I thought that having a memorial service might help give you some closure. If you're upset about this, be upset with me; everyone here came here because _I_ asked them."

(Joe Monroe has gotten out of the car and has unbuckled Emily from her car seat and takes her with him to join the group at the grave site leaving Sam and Steve alone in the car. Tears have pooled in Sam's emerald green eyes and are slowly sliding down her cheeks as she looks at her husband.)

"I'm not upset, Steve. I . . Thank you for this."


	54. Chapter 54

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 18, 2013**

**A/N: I would like to give a huge "Thank You!" to Runner043 for the main idea for this chapter. Runner and I have been exchanging private messages and her idea was WAY, WAY, WAY, better than mine! Thank you very much, Ma'am; you are awesome! I hope I can do justice to your suggestion! Michelle**

(Joe Monroe carries Emily toward the group of people standing near the graves of Anne and Jonathan Murdock and hands her off to Chin before moving to stand near the Chaplain. Emily is perfectly happy to be held by her Uncle Chin especially since her Aunt Lana leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Libby, standing slightly in front of Caroline, Danny, Grace, Kono, Tony, and the Kellys, grabs Mike's arm as she gazes worriedly toward the car. Sam and Steve have yet to get out and she's worried.)

"Why aren't they getting out of the car, Mike?"

"They will, Libby."

"I'm not so sure about that. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all."

"It will be fine, Libby. I'm sure the sight of us standing here when she thought we were all still in Hawaii was quite a shock for Sam. She just needs a few minutes to pull herself together."

"I just don't want her to be any more upset than she already is, Mike."

"Sam will be fine, Libby. Steve will see to that. Just give them a few minutes."

(In the car, Sam turns to gaze at the group standing on the green lawn of the cemetery and is, once again, amazed at what Steve has done for her. Mike and Tony are, like Steve and Joe Monroe wearing their service dress blues, but Caroline is, like Sam, wearing a black dress and the thought that this is almost exactly the way things were when her parents were killed flits through Sam's mind. Almost. This time, Steve, Emily, and the rest of her ohana are with her, and this time, she _knows_ that the deaths of her mother and father were not her fault. Steve gets out of the car and walks around to open her door, reaching out to take her hand and help her out; his eyes and the small smile on his face encouraging. Sam lets him pull her out of the car and gifts him with a small smile of her own as she takes his arm and they walk toward their family. When they get closer, Sam realizes that there are folding chairs sitting before her parents' graves and everyone else is taking their seats. Once she and Steve are seated, Chin steps over to them and hands Emily to her mother. With Sam's arms around Emily and Steve's arm around Sam's shoulders, the Chaplain begins the service. When the man has read some passages of scripture that were among Anne Murdock's favorites, he calls on Mike who talks about the outstanding officer Jonathan Murdock was and how much he loved his wife and daughter. Then Libby speaks about what wonderful friends Anne and Jonathan were and how close she and Mike were to them. And then, her eyes focusing on Sam, she talks about how much both Anne and Jonathan loved their only child.)

"Anne and I shared something that, while it bonded to two of us closer together, it was also very difficult for us to accept. Although Anne and Jonathan and Mike and I wanted several children, they, and we, were only able to have one. Samantha, your parents loved you very much and they would be exceedingly proud of the young woman you've become. They would absolutely love the man you've chosen as your husband, and they would be completely delighted with their granddaughter. They would want you to be happy, Sweetheart."

(Tears have been escaping from Sam's eyes throughout Libby's and Mike's comments, and she has been steadily swiping them away with one hand. Emily, who knows her Mommy is sad, has been pressing sweet, little kisses on Sam's face and neck every so often and her little hand has been "catching" her mother's tears when Sam would miss one. When Libby finishes and sits back down next to Sam she leans over and kisses Sam's cheek. To Sam's surprise, Caroline stands up and turns to face the group but she is looking straight at her sister.)

"Anne and Jonathan Murdock were like another set of parents to me because Sam and I are so close. She was either at my house or I was at hers; we were inseparable. Not long ago, Sam apologized to me for 'forcing' me to share my parents with her. Sam, you couldn't have been more wrong. You didn't force me to do anything. You and I 'shared our parents' from the day we met. You've been my best friend since that day, too, and even though our folks have that little piece of paper somewhere that makes it legal, you know in your heart that we've always been and always will be sisters. 'Course, that doesn't mean that we haven't and won't fight like cats and dogs sometimes because we have and we will, but . . If we didn't care about each other so much, we _wouldn't_ have those fights. I'm _still_ so mad that Aunt Anne and Uncle Jonathan were taken away from _all_ of us I don't know what to do! But, I love you Sam, very much."

(Caroline doesn't get a chance to say anything else because Sam has handed Emily to Steve and is on her feet in mere seconds. She and Caroline hug each other tightly and tears are flowing freely from the eyes of both young women as they have a quiet discussion between themselves for a few moments. When they have both regained their composure somewhat, the Chaplain quietly asks everyone to bow their heads for a closing prayer and Sam and Caroline don't move. Emily wiggles out of her father's lap and heads toward her mother and aunt and Steve lets her go. . .

When the prayer is concluded and everyone raises their heads, the sight that greets their eyes brings tears to even the most stoic of the group. Little Emily McGarrett didn't stop where Sam and Caroline were standing. Instead, both of the white roses in hand, she has made her way to the grassy area between the headstones of Anne and Jonathan Murdock, plopped down on her little bottom, and, while the Chaplain was praying, Emily has pulled the petals from the roses and dropped them on top of both markers. When she looks up and sees her mother looking down at her, she smiles ever so sweetly and says, "Love you, Mommy." Sam's intention had been to lay a rose on each of her parents' headstones, but Emily's efforts have decorated the markers beautifully, and Sam takes it as a sign that Emily, even at her young age, somehow knows how important the two people buried beneath the markers are to her mother. Sweeping her daughter up and into her arms, Sam holds her close and allows cleansing tears to fall. Wordlessly, Steve steps over and pulls Sam and Emily into his strong arms and lets Sam rid herself of the grief she's been keeping inside. Very quietly, everyone else moves back toward the cars and leaves the three of them alone. The last words Libby hears as she and Mike walk away are from Sam . . )

"Emily, I need to tell you about two very, very special people. Two people who I dearly wish you could have known . . . "


	55. Chapter 55

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 20, 2013**

(Libby is pacing back and forth in the suite she and Mike are occupying at Ft. Meyer and, every so often, she steps to the window to look for any sign of Sam and Steve. It has been nearly two hours since their ohana left Sam, Steve, and Emily at the cemetery and Libby is starting to get concerned. Mike, who is on the phone with Tony coordinating everyone's dinner plans, glances at his wife and shakes his head. Once Tony confirms that he's spoken with everyone else, except Sam and Steve, and they're all in agreement on which restaurant they want to go to for dinner, Mike ends the call, tosses his cellular phone on the bed, and steps in front of his wife effectively stopping her pacing.)

"You're going to wear a hole in the carpet, Libby."

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm just worried about Sam."

"Sam is just fine. She's with Steve and Emily and that's exactly who she needs to be with right now."

"It's been two hours, Mike! What on Earth could they be doing for this long?"

"Libby, Sam didn't fly all the way across the country to spend an hour at Anne's and Jonathan's graves and then just walk away. Besides, you heard what she said to Emily as we were leaving. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if all three of them aren't sitting on the ground right now with Steve and Emily listening as Sam tells them all about Anne and Jonathan. They may not be back for a while, so you might as well quit worrying and get dressed for dinner."

"Do you think this trip helped her, Mike?"

"I do."

"Lord, I hope so. I want both our girls to be happy; completely happy without any dark clouds hanging over their heads. . . And, I want more grandchildren."

"I think that's up to our daughters and sons-in-law, Libby."

"Well, of course, it is, Michael. But it wouldn't hurt my feelings one, little bit if one or both of the girls were to find themselves in the 'family way' in the not too distant future."

" 'The family way', Libby. Really?"

"Just wanted to see if you were paying attention, dear. Oh well, I'm not going to make them appear simply by standing at this window and wishing them here. . . . I'm going to take a quick shower and start getting dressed."

"You do that, Libby, and I'll keep an eye out for the children."

"Knew you were worried about her, too."

(As it turns out, Mike is not far from the truth. After Sam started to tell Emily all about her other grandparents, Steve grabbed two of the folding chairs and, after he and Sam both sat down, he leaned back and listened to his wife's voice as she described both her parents in vivid detail as well as many events that took place in her life while she was growing up. For well over an hour, Steve simply listens as Sam's voice and words weave magical spells of a loving family for him and Emily, and, in the process, he learns more about Sam's early years. Sam ends by telling him and Emily how much her biological parents would have loved them if they had lived to know them, and Steve leans forward to gently wipe away Sam's tears with his thumbs before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. When Sam and Steve look around them, they realize that they have been sitting there a lot longer than they thought, and the sun is beginning to fall in the western sky. There is no need for words as Steve lifts his baby girl from her mother's arms and then slides his free arm around Sam's waist as they walk back to the car. After he straightens up from buckling Emily in her car seat, he finds Sam standing very close with a sweet expression on her face. She steps forward and slides her arms around his neck before giving him a sweet kiss which he willingly returns. . .

Libby has just finished brushing her long, red-gold hair when she hears Mike mutter a 'finally' under his breath. Walking to the window, she sees that Sam, Steve, and Emily are back and steps out the door to meet them, reaching for Emily as soon as Steve has her out of the car seat.)

"Are you all right, Sweetheart?"

"I'm . . Better than I've been in a long time, Mom. Thank you for what you said today."

"Does that extend to me, too?"

"Of course, it does, Daddy. Thank you so much for what you did to help Steve pull this off. This afternoon meant a great deal to me."

"You're welcome, Sweetheart. Now, how about your mother and I take Emily while you and Steve head to your suite and get changed? Everyone's agreed they'd like to go to Nick's Riverside Grill in Georgetown for dinner and we've all had a head start on getting ready to go, so you two need to move your sixes."

"Aye, aye, Admiral."

"Don't be impertinent, young lady!"

(Steve deftly hands Mike Emily's bag and steers Sam in the direction of their suite before she can make a smart-assed comment back to her father and, because Steve's got that sexy, little grin on his face that she totally loves, Sam starts _giggling_ like a teenager. Steve finally gives up, grabs her hand, and practically yanks her to the door of their suite while Libby and Mike carry Emily into theirs.)

"See? Told you Sam was all right, Libby."

"Yes, well, while I'm very glad that she seems to be more like her old self, I hope those giggles and that look on Steve's face do not mean that we're all going to be having a _late_ dinner,"

(And _that_ comment makes Mike pause for a moment as the meaning of Libby's words sink into his brain. He just smiles, though, and takes his granddaughter from his wife.)

"Emily, how would you like to have a brother or sister?"


	56. Chapter 56

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 23, 2013**

**A/N: Hi, guys! Okay, things have been pretty serious up to this point so I've decided that I need to "lighten up" a little bit. (Actually, I started thinking about "Danny-rants"!) So, here goes. Enjoy! Michelle**

(As soon as he gets the door to their suite open, Steve yanks Sam inside, slams the door, and jerks her up against him so he can kiss her senseless. When he _finally_ lets her up for air, Sam is slightly breathless, but still has the giggles. However, she doesn't let that stop her from pulling his head back down to hers and kissing him again. Steve is truly caught between a rock and, well, a hard place, and reaches down deep to find the strength to grab Sam by the upper arms and pull away from her although it's just about killing him to do so.)

"Sam! Your dad just got through telling us that everyone wants to go to dinner and they're way ahead of us in getting dressed!"

"Yeah, Steve, I heard him."

(And she pushes his hands away, grabs his face with both hands, and pulls him in for another kiss. Beads of sweat begin to break out on Steve's face as he, once again, sets his extremely amorous wife away from him.)

"Sam! We need to change our clothes so we can go eat! The room will still be here when we get back from dinner!"

"Good point, and I'm sure Emily can spend the night with Mom and Dad or Caroline and Danny."

"Sam, Sweetheart, . . ."

"I _want_ you, Steve!"

"Yeah, Sam, I got that. _Believe me_, I got that, . . What brought this on?"

"What you did for me this afternoon was so amazing. You helped free me from the awful guilt I was carrying around for all those years, and, although I'm going to continue my therapy sessions with Capt. Stewart for a while longer, _you_ are far better for me than anyone or anything in this world. You're the man I'm spending the rest of my life with, you're the father of my child, and I'm in love with you. Any more questions?"

"No, Beautiful. I get it. I love you, Sam; forever and always."

(And this time, Steve is the one who pulls Sam into his arms and kisses her until her knees get weak. Finally, he reluctantly ends the oh _so _sweet kiss and sends a rueful glance at the door.)

"We really _do_ need to change, Sam."

(And to punctuate Steve's words, someone pounds on the door to their suite and then Danny's voice comes through loud and clear followed by Caroline's.)

"Hey, some of us want to go have dinner! You two need to get a move on!"

"Leave them alone, Danny! They'll be ready to go in a few minutes!"

"You know, if it were just Danny waiting on us, I'd throw the deadbolt on that door and. . ."

(And that sets Sam off into another fit of giggles, but she decides that it would totally unfair to the rest of their family for her and Steve to indulge themselves at the moment, so she forces herself to behave; at least, as much as she possibly can at the moment.)

"Okay, then, let's change, go eat, and get back here. I have plans for you, Mister!"

"Damn, maybe we should just meet them there."

(But Sam is already kicking off her black heels and pulling the zipper down on her dress. As she drops it to the floor and steps out of it, leaving her only in a pair of lacy black bikinis and bra, Steve's pulse rate picks up and he actually takes a step in her direction before she throws a wicked little grin over her shoulder and heads into the suite's bedroom. Closing his eyes and expelling a deep breath, because now _he's_ feeling pretty frisky, Steve starts unbuttoning his uniform jacket as he follows his wife into the bedroom. . .

Eight minutes later the McGarretts emerge from their suite looking extremely well put together. The restaurant they're going to is upscale and calls for dressier clothes. Sam is wearing a mint-green, halter top dress that hugs her curves enticingly and pairs it with white, strappy heels and a matching clutch. Steve is wearing a dark suite with a white dress shirt and black tie. Together, they make a very striking couple, indeed. Steve's hand rests possessively at Sam's waist as they join everyone else in the parking lot, and Danny has a look of utter and complete surprise on his face.)

"And here I thought the two of you would be meeting us at the restaurant."

"Why would you think that, Danny?"

"Because, Steven, I saw the two of you going into your room a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, and?"

"And? _And?_ Sam was _giggling_ and the look on your face was . ."

"Was what, Danny?"

(Danny realizes that, instead of catching Sam and Steve in a compromising position, _he's_ the one dangling on the end of the hook. Naturally, being Danny, he forges ahead anyway.)

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Steven!"

"No, Danny, I don't. Do you have any idea what Danny's talking about, Sam?"

"No, Steve, I can't possibly imagine."

(And several snickers are heard as both Sam and Steve have perfectly innocent expressions on their faces but Danny looks as if he's about to pop a blood vessel. Taking a deep breath and expelling it slowly, Danny sends an apologetic, little smile in the direction of everyone except Sam and Steve and then turns back to them.)

"I'm very glad that the two of you decided to delay your, um, discussion until later so that we'll all be on time for our dinner reservations. Thank you."

(Steve lifts an eyebrow and looks like he really wants to make a smart-assed retort to Danny's comment, but Mike quickly jumps in and starts herding everyone to their cars. He informs Sam and Steve that he's already switched Emily's car seat from their rental car to his and Libby's and they will be taking her with them and Grace, as well. That leaves Joe Monroe to ride with Kono, Tony, and little Eric Montgomery, and Lana and Chin with Caroline and Danny. Steve, being the highly intelligent Navy SEAL that he is, immediately steps forward and opens the passenger door for his wife and then quickly walks around to get in the car himself, exchanging a quick look with his father-in-law that expresses his thanks for Mike's neat handling of the situation. Mike smiles with satisfaction as everyone else scrambles to follow his directions without question; by now, they _all_ know when Adm. Thrasher issues an order! Mike has taken all of two steps toward his rental car to open the door for Libby when he hears Grace's sweet voice ask her father a question.)

"What were Aunt Sam and Uncle Steve going to have a discussion about, Danno?"

"Get in the car, Grace. We don't want to be late for our reservations."

"But Danno . ."

"I'm so going to kill Pineapple Boy!"

"Why are you going to kill Uncle Steve?"

(And Mike simply cannot help himself and gives in to the unrestrained laughter that bubbles up; especially when snickers and snorts erupt from the rest of their ohana. Mike's laughter stops very quickly, however, when they are on the way to the restaurant and Grace's voice comes from the backseat.)

"Grandpa, why were Aunt Sam and Uncle Steve going to have a discussion and why is Danno going to kill Uncle Steve?"


	57. Chapter 57

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 27, 2013**

**A/N: I have never been to Washington, D.C. but a friend of mine who lived there for several years asked me to mention Nick's Riverside Grille in Georgetown as it was one of her favorite restaurants. In reality, Nick's dress code is casual/business, but, for the purposes of my storyline, I made it more upscale. My apologies for any confusion any of you who have actually been there may have had; it's that "dramatic license" thing again! Thank you to G.E. for sharing your memories with me; I would love to visit our nation's capitol one day! Michelle**

(They arrive at the restaurant right on time and are shown to their table. Libby and Lana have decided that they will take care of Emily and Eric during dinner so the sweet babies' parents can enjoy their meal without having to worry about feeding their children. Sam finds herself seated between her husband and Joe Monroe with Caroline and Danny directly across from them. Grace is sitting between her grandparents and keeps casting inquisitive glances between Caroline and Danny and Sam and Steve. Her Grandpa had answered her last question in the car about Aunt Sam's and Uncle Steve's "discussion" and why Danno was going to kill Uncle Steve by mumbling something about them playing a joke on each other, but Grace Williams is _not_ stupid and she is still not satisfied with the answers she's been given. Aunt Sam and Uncle Steve are acting particularly "sugary" tonight and Danno has a small frown on his face while Mom is trying really hard to keep from laughing. Deciding that she will wait and see what happens, Grace turns her attention to her Grandpa who engages her in a discussion about what she might like for dinner. Sam and Steve have their heads together as they quietly discuss the menu choices but they're not fooling anyone; they're actually using the oversized menus to hide the fact that Steve is taking every possible opportunity to drop a soft kiss on Sam's cheek and then whisper something in her ear that has her blushing prettily. Tony has apparently decided that Steve is running a pretty good op and he begins to do the very same thing with Kono. Chin looks up from watching Lana playing with little Eric and catches the frown that has taken up permanent residence on Danny's face. Caroline catches Chin's attention, points to her husband, and rolls her eyes which causes Chin to laugh out loud and now Danny's glowering at _him_. Joe Monroe, getting his first up close and personal look at the Five-0 ohana, is enjoying himself immensely as he watches the interactions and reactions all around the table. Mike watches Lt. Cmdr. Monroe watching everyone else for a while before leaning over toward the younger man.)

"We're quite the handful, Commander. Some days are worse than others."

"Admiral, you have a wonderful family. I've known and worked with Cmdr. McGarrett and Lt. Williams for a while and consider it an honor to serve with them both, and, now, I have the opportunity to get to know everyone else, as well. You don't find this kind of supportive dynamic in all families, Sir. In fact, I'd say support systems like the one you all have is rare; you're all very fortunate to have one another."

"Well, Son, now that you've been in on one of our little 'family ops', you're part of the family, too. When we get back to Hawaii, Libby and I would like to have you and your wife over for dinner one evening. We'd like to express our appreciation to Mrs. Monroe for your assistance with this op."

"Thank you, Sir, but you and Mrs. Thrasher don't have to go to all that trouble. I was glad to help out, and Deana, well, Sam's been there a time or two for her, so she had no problem with me accompanying you on this trip."

"Even more reason for the two of you to have dinner with us, Commander. Libby and I are very glad that both our girls have so many people in their lives who care about them and we consider their friends to be part of our family."

"Thank you, Sir; I'm honored."

(Danny's scowling gaze is now bouncing back and forth between Sam and Steve and Kono and Tony and Caroline and Chin are doing their best not to laugh. Finally, having had enough, Caroline leans over and whispers something in Danny's ear that changes not only the expression on his face but his whole attitude, as well which causes Chin to give it up and actually laugh out loud. Grace is, by now, completely confused and she thinks, again, that grown-ups surely can act silly sometimes. Her Uncle  
Steve has caught on to her confusion and leans toward her with an understanding smile on his handsome face.

"I know you think grown-ups are silly, but you'll understand one day, Gracie."

"I'm not sure I _want_ to understand, Uncle Steve."

"Being in love is the most wonderful thing ever, Nugget; as long as the person you're in love with is also in love with you."

"I don't know about that, Aunt Sam, I've seen you and Uncle Steve and Mom and Danno fight sometimes and it doesn't look too wonderful then."

"That's true, Grace, but the wonderful part comes when you kiss and make up."

"And that, Monkey, really is wonderful."

(Grace looks at the smiling faces of her Mom and Danno and aunt an uncle and decides she wants another opinion.)

"Are they telling me the truth, Uncle Chin?"

"They are, Grace, but you have quite a bit of time before you have to start worrying about falling in love with someone."

.


	58. Chapter 58

**CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 28, 2013**

**A/N: Hello, all. Got the idea for this chapter from a friend who thought that, as long as I was making things a little "lighter" at this point, I should take the opportunity to allow the ladies to get the upper hand. Just couldn't resist! Don't worry, although this story is coming to a close, I'm not through with our ohana just yet, and Caroline and Danny have some unresolved issues to be dealt with, as well. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, and, please, keep those suggestions coming! Michelle**

(Somehow, the large group manages to order their dinner without confusing their servers too much and it isn't long before their food arrives. All throughout dinner, Sam and Steve and Kono and Tony take every opportunity to "accidentally" touch one another and the looks the ladies are sending their husbands are coming through loud and clear. Lana whispers something in her husband's ear and, a few minutes later, Tony and Chin step outside so they can move Eric's car seat from Kono's and Tony's rental car to Lana's and Chin's. When they return to the table, Tony stops next to Steve's chair and, after a brief conversation, drops the keys to his rental car next to Joe Monroe's plate explaining that he and Kono are going back to the hotel with Sam and Steve. Five minutes later, the two couples make their escape while everyone else orders dessert. Since they are all going to the Smithsonian tomorrow, Grace is too caught up in a discussion of what they're going to be seeing at the museum with her Uncle Chin to even notice the two couples have left. Although both her parents stopped and kissed her before they left, Emily Anne McGarrett is _not_ at all happy. She's learned that, when her parents kiss her and then disappear, they are usually gone for a very long time. Emily loves her grandparents, but they're not her Mommy and Daddy, and now she's grumpy. Mike recognizes the mutinous expression on his granddaughter's face because it's exactly like one of her father's with a good dash of her mother thrown in for good measure. Deciding to head things off before Emily goes into full whining and crying mode, Mike takes Emily out of the high chair and sits her in his lap.)

"Now, Miss McGarrett, your Mommy and Daddy went back to the hotel so you're just going to have to be satisfied with Grandma and me and that's that. How would you like some of Grandpa's ice cream, hmmm?"

(The McGarretts and the Montgomerys are on their way back to the hotel and Sam and Kono are talking and giggling like teenage girls while Steve and Tony are _quietly_ laughing at their wives' exuberance for their impromptu escape. _Quietly _being the operative word because neither young man wants to say or do anything to distract Sam or Kono from their objective. They are about halfway back to the hotel when the women's conversation touches on the _only_ topic that could possibly put a halt to things; their children.)

"Eric didn't look too happy when we left. I hope he doesn't give Lana and Chin _too_ much trouble."

"Yeah, Emily wasn't looking too pleased, either, and she can be a real handful when she wants to be."

"Libby and Mike will take care of Emily, Sam; she'll be just fine."

"And so will Eric, K."

"It has been a while since Emily spent the night with Mom and Dad, but . . . Things have been really. . Weird for her lately, Steve. Maybe we shouldn't have left her."

"She's with your folks, Sam, and she loves Libby and Mike."

"I know, but . . . Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all."

(And just that quick, Steve begins to panic! Not more than two hours ago, Sam was all over him and he put the brakes on things so they could go out to eat. Now, _she's_ the one who's re-thinking things and Steve knows he has to think fast. There is only one thing, one _person_, who can successfully come between him and Sam at times like this and that person is their daughter. If Sam starts feeling guilty for leaving Emily with her parents while they go back to the hotel to . . . Okay, McGarrett, think! But Kono is also starting to feel the first stirrings of guilt for leaving Eric with Lana and Chin and she and Sam are trading concerned glances. Tony sends a desperate look in Steve's direction as they are stopped at a traffic light and both young men can almost see their plans for the evening going straight down the drain. Tony's expression is just as pained as is Steve's and he, too, is scrambling to come up with an op plan that will ensure a happy outcome for all concerned. Finally, just as Steve parks the car in the hotel lot, he turns to face Sam and Kono, who are sitting in the back, with what he hopes is a convincing smile on his handsome face, and Tony quickly follows his lead.)

"Come on, ladies, you know that Emily and Eric are in excellent hands and they'll be just fine."

"Absolutely. Besides, they'll only be a couple of rooms away from us, so if there's any problem we can be there in no time."

"Tony's right, and I think you'll both agree that we deserve some time for ourselves. After all, it's not often that our kids spend the night away from home so we should take advantage of this opportunity while we can."

"Wow. Who would've ever thought we'd have not one, but _two_ big, bad Navy SEALs practically on their knees begging."

"Yeah, Kono, no one's going to believe this."

"No one's going to . . . You two aren't actually thinking about _telling_ anyone about this, are you, Sam?"

"Are you kidding me, Steve? This is entirely too good _not_ to share!"

"Whoa, if this gets out, Steve and I are pretty much done."

"Let me get this straight, you two think you're 'done' if Sam and I tell Caroline and Lana. . . "

"And the wives of the guys on your SEAL team . . ."

"And maybe Libby and Rosa that the two of you were begging?"

(And it's then that both Steve and Tony realize that their wives have been playing them and they actually fell for it. Exchanging a look that says they're thoroughly disgusted with each other, Steve and Tony get out of the car, help their very amused wives out, and say goodnight as they head to their own rooms with Sam's and Kono's laughter fading as the doors to their rooms firmly close.)


	59. Chapter 59

**CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 29, 2013**

(Sam is still trying to control her amusement when she walks out of the bathroom after having changed into an ice blue silk gown and brushing her teeth. Steve, passing Sam on his way into the bathroom as she comes out, has a small frown on his handsome face which only heightens Sam's amusement. The sound of his wife's soft laughter makes Steve that much more determined to make _Sam_ beg before he's through, and he quickly brushes his teeth and heads back into the bedroom. Sam has turned out all the lights in the suite's master bedroom except one, small table lamp that sits on a table on the opposite side of the large room from the king-sized bed lending a soft, muted glow to the room. Standing next to the table, she straightens from turning on the lamp just as her husband steps into the room and her eyes lock with his as a slow smile spreads across her beautiful face. The light from the lamp is just bright enough to outline Sam's curves beneath the ice blue silk, and Steve stops in his tracks and his breath hitches; all thoughts of getting back at Sam disappearing completely as he takes a good look at his wife. Walking toward him, Sam slowly pulls first one and then the other tiny strap from her shoulders but catches the silk in front of her with one hand just before it drops. Sliding her other hand up behind Steve's neck, she pulls his mouth down to hers and then allows the gown to fall to the floor as the hand which had been holding it up slides around Steve's neck. Steve snaps out of the state of momentary paralysis that had a hold of him and both of his strong arms immediately go around Sam's slender form. Effortlessly swinging her up and into his arms, he takes the two strides necessary to bring them to the bed and gently lays Sam down in the middle; his mouth never leaving hers. Sam wastes no time in hooking her thumbs in the waistband of Steve's shorts and pushing them down and he finishes the task so that they are skin to skin. As much as Sam was in a hurry earlier in the evening, now she is quite content to take things slowly. It seems that Steve is, too, and he lifts his mouth from hers and lets his gaze roam slowly over his wife's beautiful face. Ever so gently, he touches her cheek and she takes his hand in hers and places a soft kiss on his palm.)

"I know I've already told you this, Steve, but I really do appreciate what you did for me today."

"You were hurting, Sam, and I can't stand to see you in pain; especially when I can do something about it. I just hope that, now, you can put this behind you. Emily and I need you, Sweetheart, and we both love you very much."

"I know you do; I love the two of you very much, too, and I need both of you every bit as much as you need me. . . Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"We haven't really talked about this, but . . Emily is going to be two in a few months and I was wondering if . . ."

"I would love to have another baby with you, Sam, but I want you to be sure you're ready. I mean, you'll be grounded again, and I know how much flying means to you."

"Steve, having your children, our children, means way more to me than flying!"

"Yeah, I knew that; I just . . . I just want you to be happy, Sam."

"And if I told you that having another baby would make me happy?"

"Then, I'm all for it and I'll gladly do my part to make it happen."

"Of course, you will. Seriously, Steve, I don't want Emily to be an only child, but I don't want you to feel pressured about this."

"Sam. Sweetheart, I don't feel the least bit pressured, and I want Emily to have brothers and sisters, too. You know, we have plenty of time, Sam; we don't have to make a decision about whether or not to have another baby right now."

"I know. I guess I just wanted to get a feel for how _you_ felt about it, Steve."

"Well, now you know; I'll be ready when you're ready. 'Kay?"

" 'Kay. You know, Steve, when we do have another baby, it's going to be interesting to see how Emily reacts."

"Emily will be just fine with having a little brother or sister, Sam. She and Eric are BFFs so she'll be good with another baby in the house."

"You sure about that? I mean, yeah, Em and Eric are really close, but Eric has his own Mommy and Daddy and she doesn't have to share _us_ with him or anyone else."

"You think Emily would be jealous of a new baby?"

"No, I mean, she's _our_ daughter, Steve, and we definitely do not spoil her, but it's going to be an adjustment for her all the same."

"So, maybe we should wait until she's a little older."

"Maybe we should. . . Steve?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"You ready for round one?"

"Round one?"

"Well, yeah. Emily's sleeping in Mom's and Dad's room so we have the entire night all to ourselves, Steve."

"I like the way you think, Beautiful. Round one it is."

(And Steve proceeds to kiss Sam so sweetly that tears actually spring to her eyes, but then he deepens the kiss and his hands begin to move, ever so slowly, over Sam's curves, and all rational thought disappears because Sam's pulse rate has kicked up several notches and her mind, body, and soul are completely centered on her husband.)


	60. Chapter 60

**CHAPTER SIXTY**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 30, 2013**

(By the time everyone has finished their dessert, Grace announces that they need to go back to the hotel and go to bed so they'll all be able to get up early the next morning so they can go to the Smithsonian. Not one of the adults argues with her because, after the very delicious but large meal they've just eaten, they're all ready to go back to the hotel and get a good night's sleep. Both Emily and Eric are starting to nod off and Libby and Lana are praying that the babies will fall asleep on the way back to the hotel and stay asleep until morning. Mike was able to distract Emily earlier with ice cream, although Libby cautioned him not to give her too much or she'd be awake all night, and now the little girl is too sleepy to be upset because her parents aren't there. Since they are visiting the Air and Space Museum at the Smithsonian, Grace has engaged Joe Monroe in a conversation about the different types of aircraft they'll be seeing and the young man is more than happy to answer Grace's questions. Since Libby and Mike have Emily and Grace, and Lana and Chin have Eric, Joe rides back to the hotel with Caroline and Danny and just can't resist the opportunity to mess with Danny.)

"You know, Danny, I would have thought you'd have learned by now not to try and mess with Steve or Sam; but both of them at the same time?"

"You'd _think_ he would have learned, Joe, but my husband can be quite hard-headed at times."

"Yeah, yeah, if Grace hadn't of been standing there earlier, I'd have embarrassed them both."

"Really, Danny? You honestly think Sam or Steve would have been the least bit embarrassed if you had accused them of delaying everyone's dinner so they could . . . You know?"

" 'You know'? Here we go again, Caroline. What? Are we like twelve?"

"Of course not, but . ."

"No, no, no! We're all adults so we can have an adult conversation."

"Fine, Danny! Do you honestly believe that either Sam or Steve would have been embarrassed if you'd accused them of delaying everyone's dinner so they could have sex?"

"Wow, Caroline, you actually said that out loud and in front of Joe. I'm impressed."

"Why not? Did you not hear my father tell Joe that he was now a part of our family?"

"Yeah, I heard Mike, but I don't think this conversation was exactly what he had in mind."

"Well, you're the one who called _me_ out for using the term, 'you know', Danny!"

(But Joe Monroe's laughter fills the car before Danny can answer and it isn't long before he and Caroline join him.)

"I gotta tell you that I haven't had this much fun in quite some time."

"Just don't let Sam know you were privy to this conversation, Joe. She'll have a coronary!"

"Yeah, I can see where it wouldn't be in my best interest to think about this when we're in the middle of a pre-flight briefing."

(And after they all have a good laugh at Joe's statement, Caroline gets a little more serious.)

"Thank you for agreeing to come on this trip, Joe. I know it meant a lot to Sam and Steve, and it means a lot to us, as well. I love my sister very much so I really appreciate you helping us out with this trip."

"It was my pleasure, Caroline. I have a lot of respect for Sam; I'm just glad I could help."

"We _all_ appreciate your help, Joe. I like to give Steve, and sometimes Sam, a hard time, but . . . We're all family and family looks out for one another, no matter what. Sam's an angel and Steve . . Well, Steve's one of the good guys and I know that he'd do anything for any of his family or friends if they needed help. He was there for me after the accident and I honestly don't know what I would've done if he hadn't of been there a couple of times."

"Wow, Danny, that was so . . Sweet."

"Yeah, well, Caroline, don't get carried away. If either of you tell Steve I said that I'll have to kill you."

"I won't say a word, Danny; promise."

"Thank you, Joe. Caroline?"

"I'm still thinking, Romeo. You're not going to kill me, no matter what."

(Joe Monroe heads to his room after telling Caroline and Danny goodnight and Danny sees an assessing expression on his wife's beautiful face when he turns toward her as they walk to their room. The little smile on her face stays in place as he unlocks the door and allows her to precede him into the room.)

"You're just a big softie beneath all that bluster, Danny Williams, and I love you for it."

"What? Just because I said Steve was around for me to vent to a couple of times? Anyone would've worked; I just needed a warm body to listen."

"That's not true and you know it! You and Steve have this . . . Dynamic going on but you're both to stubborn to admit you might actually care about each other."

"Not true, Caroline. Pineapple Boy and I both want to keep our wives happy and the easiest way to do that is to try and keep our arguments to a minimum."

"Okay, Romeo, tell that to someone else 'cause I don't believe it for a second."

"Fine. Whatever."

"Would it actually hurt you to admit the two of you _like_ each other?"

"I never said I didn't _like_ him."

"Oh, good. Now you're going to go all obtuse on me."

"Hey!"


	61. Chapter 61

**CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: March 31, 2013**

(Caroline just smirks as she unzips her dress and slips out of her heels. Once she has hung the dress in the closet and slipped into an emerald green gown, she steps into the bathroom to brush her teeth and finds Danny's already there. They continue to trade glances in the bathroom mirror, Caroline's all-knowing and Danny's slightly suspicious and then they head into the bedroom and slip into bed. Caroline turns toward Danny and props her head in one hand while tracing tiny circles on her husband's muscular shoulder with the other.)

"Come on, Danny, you and Steve are closer than a lot of brothers. Why can't the two of you just admit it and be done with it?"

"What, and take all the mystery out of our relationship?"

"Danny!"

"Caroline, neither Steve nor I are 'touchy, feely' kind of guys."

"Oh, yes, you are; both of you. Neither you nor Steve have the least bit of trouble telling me and Sam exactly how much you love us no matter where we are or who's around, and I haven't noticed either of you keeping your hands to yourselves when we're out in public, either."

"That's different, Gorgeous."

"Okay. Neither of you have a problem expressing affection to our parents."

"Also different, Caroline."

"For goodness' sake, Danny, why can't the two of you just admit you love each other like brothers?"

"It's not that easy."

"Why the Hell not?"

"It just . . Isn't."

"Danny Williams you can be the most frustrating man on Earth sometimes!"

"Yeah, but you still love me."

"Yes, Danny, I still love you."

"Wanna show me how much?"

"How about _you_ show _me_?"

(Kono Montgomery, her body thoroughly sated and humming with sweet afterglow, turns her head and offers her handsome husband a lazy smile. Tony's response is to lift his wife's hand to his mouth and drop a soft kiss on the back of her hand before placing it over his heart and covering it with his.)

"I think, K, that we should let Lana and Chin have Eric overnight more often."

"Do you now?"

"Yeah, I mean, Chin said they've talked about having a baby of their own, so having Eric is good practice for them."

"Tony, you silly man, Eric is going to be two in a few weeks! Taking care of a two year old is a lot different than taking care of a newborn!"

"_I_ know that, but, you've go to admit that it's nice to be able to make love without having to keep an ear open for little man."

"There is that. . . Remember when we were looking for a house and you said you wanted one with four or five bedrooms?"

"Yeah."

"Well, maybe we should start thinking about redoing one of the guest rooms for Eric; get him a big boy bed and furniture so that he can have his own 'space'."

"He has his own 'space', K; it's called the nursery."

"And where is Eric going to sleep when we have another baby, Tony?"

"I see your point. Okay, we can start looking for 'big boy' furniture for Eric and move him into one of the guest rooms. . . . Um, K, does this mean you're ready to think about having another baby?"

" 'Think' is the operative word, Tony, and _we_ need to talk about it, but, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm ready. Question is, are you?"

"You know I want a houseful, Babe, but I don't want to rush you into another pregnancy if you're not ready for it. There's a good chance that I'll be deployed again, at least part of the time, and I know how hard it was on you when you were carrying Eric."

"It's going to be hard on me anytime you're deployed, Tony, whether I'm pregnant or not."

"Yeah, K, I know. . .

(Lana and Chin stand next to one another as they gaze down at little Eric Montgomery sleeping like a little angel in the portable playpen Kono and Tony brought with them from Hawaii. Eric fell asleep as soon as they left the restaurant and not once did he stir while Lana changed him into his pajamas except to emit a soft, sweet little sigh. Chin glances over at his wife and sees the somewhat wistful expression on her face as she watches the precious child sleep and slips an arm around her shoulders.)

"You want one of those don't you, Lana?"

"Of course, I do, Chin. Don't you?"

(Danny is just about asleep when Caroline lifts her head from his chest and gives him a kiss on the cheek, and he smiles.)

"What was that for?"

"To thank you for helping Steve and Dad pull this whole thing off."

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did. Dad told me you were the one who contacted Arlington and set-up the memorial service."

"Only because Boy Wonder was trying to do four things at once and I knew he was going to mess something up if somebody didn't step up to the plate."

"Danny."

"What? It's the truth, and I knew how important this trip was to you, so, yeah, I volunteered to make a phone call. Big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal so stop trying to brush it off!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"You're not going to let me thank you for doing something nice, are you, Danny?"

"I can think of other ways you can thank me, Caroline."

"Hello? Thought I just did?"

"Thank me again. Please."

"Sometimes you make me want to scream or curse or rant and rave, Danny Williams."

"Yeah, but you still love me."

"I still love you."


	62. Chapter 62

**CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: April 1, 2013**

(The next day is spent at the Smithsonian Institute's National Air and Space Museum and Sam, Caroline, and Joe Monroe are in their element. Between the three of them, not only Grace, but everyone else gets a thorough education about all things aviation-related. The three are so caught up in their discussions and explanations that they fail to see the indulgent smiles that appear on several faces numerous times during the day. The only time Sam, Caroline, and Joe aren't talking a mile a minute is when Libby calls for a lunch break. Even then, the three naval aviators have their heads together in a discussion about how far aircraft engine designs have come since the Wright brothers first flew at Kitty Hawk. Steve and Mike laugh outright at the expression on Danny's face as he tries to digest everything he's heard during the course of the morning and is now discussing with Emily who is sitting on Uncle Danny's lap.)

"Your Mommy's going to drive you nuts talking about airplanes, Emily. She and your Aunt Caroline and Joe Monroe have given Uncle Danny a headache!"

"Better not let Sam or Caroline hear you say that, Danny, else they'll feel obligated to 'clear up your confusion' by telling you the same things again only more slowly."

(And Danny looks at his father-in-law with an expression of sheer horror on his face; much to the amusement of everyone else.)

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, Son, I'm not kidding. Sam and Caroline have been all over anything to do with aircraft since they first met. I'm fairly certain that there's _nothing_ those two don't know about aviation, and they both devour every new paper, theory, design, and technical manual that comes out. I'm convinced that they could take a fighter apart and put it together again blindfolded. They both know their aircraft so well that they can pinpoint a problem just by listening to the engine."

"Yeah, Mike, but that's a good thing. I know _I_ feel better knowing Sam has such intimate knowledge of her aircraft. At least she's not going to take it up if she detects something wrong _before_ she takes off."

"Yeah, okay. I can live with that. At least Caroline doesn't bring it home. Yet."

(After lunch, the group is off, again, to explore and Grace is absolutely thrilled because her Mom, Aunt Sam, and that nice Lt. Cmdr. Monroe are answering all her questions about flying and the exhibits they're seeing. By the end of the day, Grace is one happy camper and is even more pleased when everyone agrees to have dinner at a casual barbecue restaurant not far from their hotel that happens to have a huge ice cream bar with all the trimmings. While they are waiting for their orders, Libby looks around and a smile spreads across her face as her gaze moves from Caroline and Danny, with Grace in between them, talking about the museum, to Lana and Chin, talking quietly, to Sam leaning over to kiss Emily's little cheek as she sits in her father's lap and then sharing a quick but sweet kiss with Steve, to Tony leaning over and talking to his son as Kono holds Eric in her lap and laughs at whatever it was Tony said to Eric, and a feeling of peace envelops Libby as all is right with her world again. After dinner, they all return to the hotel and pile in Libby's and Mike's suite to watch a movie. Again, Libby is touched by the things she sees; Grace has her head in Caroline's lap and her feet in Danny's and Caroline is absently stroking Grace's hair, Kono and Tony hold hands as they watch Eric crawling all over Chin while Lana just laughs softly, Emily is asleep on her father's chest and Sam is asleep with her head on Steve's shoulder and Steve kisses the top of Emily's little head and then Sam's. Joe Monroe has decided to head back to his own room so he can call and talk to his wife, and Libby drops down next to Mike on the opposite end of the sofa from Sam and Steve and sends him a loving smile. By the time the movie ends, everyone is asleep except Libby and Mike, and they just smile as they move around the room gently waking the adults and sending everyone to their own rooms. . .

While Sam, Steve, Emily, and Joe Monroe flew to Washington over a two-day period, everyone else flew straight to Washington, also courtesy of Steve's friend. However, the plane they flew in on went back to Hawaii so Sam and Joe will be flying everyone home. Their plan is to take off at 11:00 a.m. the next morning. At dinner, Steve told Mike that Sam wanted to go back out to Arlington again before they left and asked Mike if he and Libby would watch Emily. Of course, Mike readily agreed and at eight the next morning, Steve carries a still sleeping Emily into his in-law's suite.)

"Emily's sleeping in this morning, I see."

"Yeah, she is. She kept waking up last night until Sam finally put her in the bed with us, but it was pretty late so Baby Girl's still out."

"Well, don't worry; we'll make sure she has breakfast when she wakes up. How long are you and Sam going to be gone, Son?"

"Don't know, Mike. Sam said she wanted to go back out to Arlington so that's what we're going to do. We've already put our luggage in the car and checked out so we'll probably meet the rest of you at the airport."

"Take all the time you need, Steve. Just because we'd planned on leaving at eleven doesn't mean we actually have to do it."

(When they reach the gravesites of Anne and Jonathan Murdock, Steve starts to get out, but Sam lays a hand on his arm and asks him to give her a few minutes by herself. Picking up her hand and kissing it softly, Steve gives Sam and encouraging smile. Getting out of the car, Sam slowly walks to her parents' graves, sits down between their headstones, and rests her folded arms on her drawn-up knees. She sits there for several minutes thinking back on her childhood, both before and after meeting Caroline, and all of the wonderful time she spent with her parents. With a hand resting on each headstone, Sam closes her eyes, bows her head and offers a prayer of thanksgiving for the time her biological parents were in her life. As she finishes her prayer and lifts her head, a cloud which had been covering the sun drifts away and the warm sunshine touches her face. A sense of peace and calm envelopes Sam and a small smile touches her lips. She opens her eyes to find her husband standing a few feet away and reaches out a hand to him. Steve pulls Sam to her feet and pulls her into his warm, strong embrace; just holding her for a few moments in silence.)

"You okay, Beautiful?"

"I am now. I've made my peace with my parents' deaths, Steve, and I know now that what happened was not my fault. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. I know my parents are still with me, here, in my heart and that they always will be."

"Yeah, Sam, they will, and Emily and I will always be here for you, too. Always and forever."


	63. Chapter 63

**CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: April 3, 2013**

(Sam and Steve are the last to arrive at the airport and Libby is standing in the terminal reserved for private planes looking out the floor to ceiling glass when Steve parks their rental car near the door. Both Sam and Steve are smiling and appear to be in the middle of a light-hearted conversation, and after parking, Steve turns toward Sam and she meets him halfway for a kiss. Steve is out of the car and helping Sam out in moments, and pulls her in for another, longer kiss when she steps out of the car. Chin steps over to join Libby just as Sam gets out of the car and he sends a smile in Libby's direction.)

"Looks like this trip did Sam a lot of good."

"I think this trip did us all a lot of good. I'm so glad everyone was able to come."

"Well, as Danny is always saying, we're all family and family sticks together no matter what. Neither Lana nor I have forgotten what everyone did for us when Lana was injured in that accident so we're going to be right here anytime someone needs us."

"Thank you, dear, I know that I appreciate that and I'm sure the rest of the family does, as well. You know, I was so very hurt when Mike and I lost those four babies before Caroline was born. I couldn't understand why God only allowed us to have one child when we both wanted a houseful. I believe I understand now. While Caroline was the only baby we had, we've been blessed over the years with more 'children'; first Sam, then Steve, then Danny, then Kono and Tony and you and Lana, and, of course, Grace and Emily and Eric. I believe the good Lord gave all of you to us; brought all of us together. So, while we didn't get a houseful of children as infants, we have a houseful now and another generation, too."

"We've all been pretty blessed, too, Libby. You and Mike are amazing people and you always put the needs of others before your own. I think we're all very fortunate to have the two of you."

"I think we're all fortunate to have each other, Chin."

(Sam and Steve, holding hands and sending one another little smiles every so often, walk into the terminal and Emily, who was being held by Mike, spies her Mommy and Daddy and starts wiggling so fiercely that Mike immediately sets her down. Once her little feet touch the floor, she runs to her parents yelling "Mommy!" and "Daddy!", and Steve scoops his daughter up and both parents kiss her little cheeks. Emily grabs her mother's face in both her little hands, kisses Sam on the forehead, and then starts giggling; which causes both Sam and Steve to start laughing and it's quite obvious that the three McGarretts are very happy and relaxed as Joe Monroe walks over to join them.)

"Everyone's luggage is already on board except yours, I've got the latest weather report, the plane has been fueled up and is ready to go, and I've filed our flight plan. All we have to do is run the pre-flight and we're good to go, Sam."

"Thanks, Joe. I really appreciate you taking care of all that."

"Not a problem. I knew you and Steve had somewhere to go this morning."

"You're a really good friend, Joe. Steve and I want to have you and Deana over for dinner soon; we appreciate Deana's help, too,"

"Like I told your Dad; you've been there for Deana a few times, so she was happy we could help you out with this trip."

"Okay, then, let's go take care of running the pre-flight so we can go home."

(Joe heads toward the door leading to the tarmac and the waiting jet, but Emily screws up her little face when Sam starts to follow him and starts to cry.)

"Mommy has to go get ready to fly us home, Emily. Daddy's going to stay right here with you, and we'll be ready to go in no time, okay?"

"Want Mommy!"

"Hey, you're going to hurt Daddy's feelings, Em. You'll be getting on the plane soon. Mommy's not going to leave you, Sweetheart."

(But Emily is still not happy and Steve picks up on Sam's first sentence and turns around so that Emily can't see her mother walk out the door.)

"Mommy's right, Baby Girl, you're hurting my feelings. Don't you love Daddy?"

"Love Daddy; want Mommy!"

(Steve, trying very hard to hide a smile, looks at Sam over Emily's dark-haired head and subtly nods toward the door silently telling Sam to go ahead and he'll deal with their daughter. Sending him a smile of thanks, Sam heads toward the door and grabs Grace's hand as she walks by the chairs where Grace is sitting with Kono and Eric.)

"Come on, Nugget. You get to sit in the cockpit with me and Joe. I promised you a couple of years ago that I'd teach you to fly when you were old enough, and I think it's about time you got an up close and personal look at exactly what's involved in flying a jet."

"I get to sit in the cockpit?"

"You do."

"Wow, this is _so_ cool, Aunt Sam!"

(And as Sam and Grace head out the door hand in hand, everyone else bursts into laughter at the look of pure fear on Danny's face. Caroline, more like herself than she's been in months, can't resist and fires a teasing comment in Danny's direction.)

"Once she masters flying, Grace will be getting her dive card and tackling rock climbing. Didn't you say you were going to teach her about rock climbing, Steve?"

"I did. Guess I need to check my climbing gear and make some time to take Gracie out."

(And _Mike_ throws in his two cents' worth.)

"Right after I help Grace get her dive card, Son."

(And as Danny turns another shade paler, Libby "ices the cake".)

"You all need to check with me before you schedule any diving or rock climbing expeditions. Just last night Grace was telling me about a boy at her school she thinks is really cute who told her she was 'hot', so I'll be helping Rachel and Caroline take Grace shopping for some outfits that are appropriate for dating. _And_ she said something about wanting to look for a new swimsuit, too."

"That's right, Mom, Grace said she wanted a bikini. Guess I need to call Rachel."

"Guess you do, Caroline."

(Danny has gone from pale to a deep, dark red, seems to be getting short of breath, and looks as if he's about to pass out. Not even Chin takes pity on him, though.)

"Hey, you knew this day was coming, Bra."

"What is _wrong_ with you people? She's. Just. A. Little. Girl!"

(But amid all the suppressed snickers, Caroline sends her husband a serious look and _really_ gets his attention with some serious statements.)

"But she's not, Danny. Grace is growing up whether you like it or not. She _is_ going to learn to fly and dive and rock climb eventually. Wouldn't you be more comfortable knowing that she's learning all these things from people you know and trust and who actually know what they're doing? And as for boys and dating. . . Sweetie, Grace is a beautiful, sweet young lady; boys are going to be lining up just to talk to her. _You_ are going to have to learn to bite your tongue, sit on your hands, and resist the urge to put any young man who so much as looks at Grace in an interrogation room and give him the third degree. Grace is a smart young lady, Danny; she's not about to waste her time on any boy who isn't worthy of her. That's not to say, however, that she's not going to get her heart broken because she will, and probably more than once. You're going to have stop yourself from rushing to lock up the boys who hurt her because, as painful as it's going to be for Grace, for all of us, it's all part of growing up. What you need to remember is that you were Grace's first hero; you'll always be her hero and she will always love you, but you have to let her go, Danny. You have to let her learn to stand on her own two feet. Just make sure she knows that you'll be there when she stumbles."

(The snickers have long since stopped and it seems as if everyone is holding their breath because Caroline has figuratively just hit Danny right between the eyes with some hard truths and none of them are sure what's going to happen in the next few minutes. Mike, however, has been right where Danny is now, and he quietly, but firmly, moves everyone to the other side of the terminal to afford Caroline and Danny what privacy he can. Caroline moves out of her chair and kneels in front of her shell-shocked husband, taking both of his slightly shaking hands in hers and looking him directly in the eye.)

"I know this is hard for you, Sweetheart. I know that you want to protect Grace from anyone or anything that could possibly hurt her, but you can't. All you can do is be there for her through all things, good or bad, and love her. Grace has a lot of people in her life who love her and will do everything humanly possible to protect her. We'll all be there for _you_, too. _I'll_ be there with you every step of the way, Danny, you _and_ Grace."

(Danny actually has tears in his eyes and he's trembling slightly but his grip on Caroline's hands is firm and he takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out before his color starts returning to normal. Leaning forward, he kisses Caroline and then leans his forehead against hers.)

"Everything you said is true. You're probably going to have to smack me quite a few times in the coming years to keep me from doing something totally stupid, not to mention illegal, where Grace is concerned. Thank you, Caroline; Grace is very lucky to have you as her mom and I'm . . I'm the luckiest man on Earth because you love me."

"I'm pretty lucky myself, Romeo. I got you _and_ Grace and I couldn't be happier."

(Steve walks over to tell them they can go ahead and board the plane and is a little wary of the expression on Danny's face when Danny looks him in the eye.)

"So, think you could maybe take me rock climbing sometime? I think I'll pass on learning to fly, but Libby says I'm close to getting my dive card and rock climbing can't be _that_ hard."

"You want to go rock climbing?"

"Yeah. I figure if I learn how to do most of the things Grace likes to do, we can spend some quality time together. At least, when she has some spare time on her social calendar which is going to be a rare occurrence since, as Caroline said, Grace is a beautiful, smart young lady and she's going to be quite popular with . . .Boys."

(A slow grin spreads across Steve's handsome face and he slaps Danny on the back as they, and Caroline, head out to the tarmac.)

"Don't worry, Danny, you've got me, Mike, Tony, and Chin for back-up where Gracie is concerned. Any boys who mess with our girl is going to have to answer to _all_ of us."


	64. Chapter 64

**CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: April 11, 2013**

**A/N: Hello, everyone. So very sorry that I haven't updated before now. Life has been a little hectic lately, but I sincerely hope to post more often. This story is ending but I hope to start #10 very soon thanks to some wonderful ideas from Runner043. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Michelle**

(Two months later, everything is back to normal with the Five-0 ohana, or as normal as it can be considering their chosen professions. On a bright, sunny Saturday afternoon right after lunch, everyone finds themselves, once again, in the terminal reserved for private planes at Honolulu International at the invitation of Sam and Steve. Although everyone has questioned Sam and Steve as to why they're there, neither of the McGarretts has so much as offered any of them the slightest clue saying only that they have a surprise for everyone. Caroline, Danny, and Grace are the last two to arrive, and, once they are seated with everyone else in the terminal's waiting area, Sam and Steve exchange mysterious, little smiles and explain their surprise with Sam starting.)

"As some of you know, my biological parents were both only children so both sets of my grandparents left everything to them and they, in turn, left everything to me. I invested the majority of my inheritance, and those investments have done pretty well over the years. A couple of months ago, when we all went to Washington, an idea started running around in my head, and I talked to Steve about it and then we talked to Rob Stanton, Steve's former BUD/S instructor and the very sweet and generous man who gave us the use of two of his private jets for the Washington trip. We did some research and, well, we bought a plane."

(Both Sam and Steve have to smile at the expressions on the faces of everyone in the room which range from stunned to shocked to the wide-eyed wonder on Grace's sweet face.)

"Samantha, did you just say that you and Steve bought a _plane_?"

"Yeah, Mom, I did. We didn't buy a jet, but we did buy a brand new, single prop, six passenger Cessna."

"Sam and I decided that, since we both like to travel, Sam's certified on _everything_ that flies and, while I'm not certified for fighters or jets, I _am_ certified for single or twin props, Emily has taken to flying like a duck to water and will probably become a pilot as soon as she's old enough, Sam's going to teach Gracie to fly, and, unless she's chickened out, Lana's going to learn to fly, too, buying our own plane just made sense in the long run."

(Now it's Chin who has an astonished look on his face as he turns to his wife.)

"_You_ want to learn to fly?"

"Yeah. I talked to Sam and I'm already halfway through ground school."

"Wow."

(Tony has a grin on his face a mile wide and now he pipes up.)

"You know, Sam, I, too am certified on single and twin props aircraft. My license's up to date, so . . . Think Kono and I might borrow your plane to go, say, to Molokai for the weekend sometime?"

"Tony!"

(But Sam just laughs at Kono's somewhat embarrassed outburst, and she turns to a grinning Steve with pure pleasure on her beautiful face.)

"I knew this was a fabulous idea!"

"You really _are_ going to teach me to fly!"

"I am, Nugget."

"I LOVE you, Aunt Sam!"

(And Grace throws her arms around her aunt and hugs her tightly. Returning Gracie's hug, Sam glances in Danny's direction but he, too, is grinning as he turns to his wife.)

"I suppose that, although you don't fly fighter jets, you're perfectly capable of flying Sam's and Steve's plane?"

"Oh, yeah, and my license is also current."

"As is mine, as is Mike's."

"Now how did I _not _know that, in addition to Super Girl and Boy Wonder, my wife and in-laws were _all_ licensed pilots?"

"You didn't ask, Romeo."

"Fine. Sign me up, Sam, or can any of you teach me to fly?"

"It's going to have to be Sam, Son; she's the only certified instructor in the bunch."

"Are you really going to let Aunt Sam teach you to fly, Danno?"

"You bet I am, Monkey. I'm going to learn to fly, get my dive card, and learn to rock climb, too."

"Cool, but . . Why?"

"So I can spend more time with you doing the things you like to do; because I love you, Grace."

(And, of course, the "awwww" moment has an appropriate effect on everyone as Grace hugs her father tightly and kisses his cheek.)

"I love you, too, Danno."

"Looks like we're the only two out of this loop, Cuz."

"Speak for yourself, Chin, if Sam and Steve decide to let us borrow their plane every now and then, you can bet your six I'm going to learn to fly it. I really don't want to be hundreds of feet up in the air and, God forbid, something should happen to Tony and I couldn't get us down safely."

"Good point. So, Sam, can I join Danny and Kono in the flying lessons?"

"Indeed, you can, Chin, but the first thing you all have to do is complete ground school. Lana and Tony and Caroline can help you guys, but it's going to take some time, so decide when you want to start and I'll get your books for you."

"Books? As in the kind you have to read and take tests on and stuff?"

"Yes, Danny. What? Did you think you were just going to get in the plane and have Sam show you the controls a few times and that's it?"

"No, Steven, I did not think anything of the sort. I just didn't realize how involved this process was, thank you very much."

"Didn't rea . . . Danny, do you ever think anything through _before_ you open your mouth and stick your foot in it?"

"Oh! You're a fine one to talk, 'Mr. Shoot First and Ask Questions Later!'"

"Would you two either shut up or take it outside, please?"

(And both Steve and Danny glare at Caroline and snap out a loud "No!" at the same time before continuing to glare at each other. Sam is giggling to the point she's about to emit a very unladylike snort, and she finally gets enough control to whistle very, very loudly effectively halting the latest installment of the "Steve and Danny Show".)

"Enough! Do you guys want to see the plane or not?"

"Of course, we do, Sam. That is, if my two sons-in-law can stop acting like two year olds."

"Trust me, Dad; they're going to straighten right up. 'Cause if they don't, Caroline will be spending the night at our house and Steve will be spending the night at Caroline's and Danny's."

"That's not a bad idea anyway, Sam. Maybe the two of them will finally get it out of their systems. Either that or they'll kill each other."

"Really, Caroline?"

"Yes, really, Danny."

"I like it, Caroline. You and Emily and I can have a spend the night party and, after Em's asleep, we can find and old horror movie and eat popcorn until we're stuffed."

"Yeah, we haven't done that since you were pregnant with Emily."

"I want to see the plane, Aunt Sam!"

(And it's only Gracie's pleading question that ends the back and forth conversation between the two sisters. They all head out to the tarmac, Steve and Danny still sending small frowns in each other's direction, and there sits a brand new Cessna. Everyone takes a few minutes to walk all the way around the plane while Tony questions Sam about some of the plane's specs and it is Grace who spots the plane's name neatly stenciled in cursive on the fuselage.)

"You named your plane 'The Nugget', Aunt Sam?"

"We did, Gracie. I've been calling you 'Nugget' for a while now and you're the person who gave me the idea to buy a plane. We named our plane for you."

"Wow, this is totally cool! Can we take it up, Aunt Sam?"

"You bet we can, Gracie. The Nugget's fueled up and I've filed a flight plan so we're good to go whenever you're ready."

"Okay, so there's four open seats, so who else is going?"

"Sorry, Danny, this first flight is going to be just me and Nugget."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. Gracie finished ground school and passed all her written tests with flying colors, no pun intended. Today, I'm going to take off and land, but Gracie's going to actually be in control once we're in the air; at least, for part of the time."

"I am?"

"You are."

"You're the best aunt in the entire world, Aunt Sam!"

"You're not really going to let Grace fly the plane, are you, Sam?"

"Yeah, Danny, I am. She needs to get a feel for the controls while the plane's actually in the air _before_ she learns how to take off and land. And she doesn't need any distractions while I'm explaining everything to her, so the rest of you are just going to have to wait your turn to go up."

(Surprisingly, Danny takes this information calmly and slowly nods his head as he glances at Sam and then at Grace.)

"Okay. Pay attention to your Aunt Sam and remember what she tells you, Monkey, 'cause if you don't, I'm going to learn to fly before you do."

"Not gonna happen, Danno! Let's go, Aunt Sam!"


	65. Chapter 65

**CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE**

**Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"**

**Author: Michelle Heath**

**Rating: MA for adult situations and language**

**Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!**

**Date Written: May 21, 2013**

(Everyone watches as Sam and Grace climb into the plane, don their headsets, and Sam starts running the pre-flight while the rest of the family steps back inside the terminal. Steve directs them to an area where they can clearly see the plane as Sam taxies to the runway and then watch it take off. They can also hear Sam's communications with the tower on speakers Steve switches on. Once they've taken off and are no longer visible, Steve switchers to another channel so that they can hear the discussion in the plane. Sam patiently and thoroughly explains everything she does to Grace and answers all of her niece's questions. About fifteen minutes after they take off, those on the ground hear Sam say she is taking her hands off the yoke and turning control of the aircraft over to Grace. Several pairs of eyes immediately dart to Danny but, while listening intently, he appears to be very calm; much to the vast relief of everyone else. As they continue listening, Sam calmly gives Grace instructions and tells her what corrections to make and they make a couple of passes by the airport. Forty minutes later, Sam lands the plane and taxies back to the tarmac near the private planes terminal. Once she has secured the aircraft, she and Grace emerge and walk toward the group waiting for them on the tarmac. Grace Williams is beaming and, now that they are back on the ground, her excitement level is through the roof. She runs straight to her father and Danny kneels down to enfold his little girl in a big hug.)

"I _flew_, Danno!"

"I know you did, Monkey; I saw you!"

"Flying is so easy! I can't wait to do it again!"

"Hold up there, Nugget. Flying isn't quite as easy as you think."

"But I was really flying the plane, Aunt Sam!"

"You were. . . _After_ I took off and _before_ I landed, Gracie."

"And take offs and landings are hard, Sweetheart; especially landings."

"I know, Uncle Steve. Aunt Sam told me, but I did okay while we were in the air, didn't I?"

"You did an outstanding job, Grace. One of these days you'll be flying your grandmother and me all over the place."

"I'll fly you and Grandma anywhere you want to go, Grandpa!"

"Hey, when do the rest of us get to go up, Sam?"

"Right now."

(A quick discussion occurs where it is decided that Caroline, Danny, Libby, Mike, Lana, and Chin will make the next flight with Libby serving as the pilot and Lana occupying the co-pilots seat so she can also get an "up close and personal" idea of what all actual piloting involves. Tony then volunteers to take Kono and Eric up with Sam, Steve, and Emily accompanying them. By the time everyone has been up in the McGarrett's new plane Danny's attitude has done a 180 and he's firing some fairly intelligent questions at all the licensed pilots present. Finally, Mike, usually completely in control of himself at all times, can't take it anymore and starts laughing so hard he has tears in his eyes. Danny, well aware that he is the object of his father-in-law's amusement, sends a frown in Mike's direction.)

"What's so funny, Mike?"

"You are, Son! . . Don't get me wrong, Danny. . . I'm laughing _with_ you; not _at_ you!"

"Could've fooled me! Do I look like I'm laughing?"

"Danny, in the space of a couple of hours, you've gone from shaking with total terror at the thought that Grace was actually flying the plane to acting like a kid on Christmas morning. Admit it . . . You can't wait to get your private pilot's license."

"You're right; I can't. The sooner I get it, the more time I can spend with Grace. I want my dive card and rock climbing equipment, too, for the very same reason. I don't want to miss out on a single opportunity to spend time with my daughter."

"You're serious, aren't you, Romeo?"

"Yes, Caroline, I'm very serious. Libby, I promise you that I will take every, single thing you tell me about scuba diving seriously from now on. Steve, any time you're ready to explain the finer points of rock climbing to me I'm ready to listen. Sam, tell me what books I need for ground school and where to go to get them, and I'll have them tomorrow."

(And for just a moment, the entire group is utterly speechless because they all realize that Danny is completely sincere. Grace breaks the silence by hurrying over to her father, a sweet smile on her beautiful, little face and hugs him tightly.)

"You'd really do all of that just for me, Danno?"

"Of course, I would, Monkey. I will always do anything I possibly can to be able to spend time with you. I love you very much, Grace, and I always will."

"I love you, too, Daddy."

"Hey, Sam, did you guys get the optional water skids, too?"

"K, do you realize what a totally unnecessary question that was?"

"It's a fair question, Tony. I mean, yeah, Sam and Steve have the Pacific Ocean a few yards from their back door, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to keep their plane there."

"Why wouldn't they, Kono? Be really convenient."

"I can think of several reasons they wouldn't want to keep the plane at their house, Tony. Keeping it in one piece should a rough storm come up and having to worry about the Nugget being battered beyond repair for one."

"How often to we get storms bad enough to mess up a plane like the Nugget, K?"

"That's _not _the point, Tony. The point is that it _could_ happen. Why should they keep the plane at the house and have to worry about it when there's a perfectly good airport close to home?"

"Kono, are you and Tony fighting over Aunt Sam's and Uncle Steve's plane?"

"No, Gracie, we aren't. We're have a . . Healthy debate."

"Sounds like you're fighting to me. Uncle Steve, what are 'water skids'?"

(And, having "hit the nail squarely on the head" in regard to Kono's and Tony's "healthy debate", much to the chagrin of the Montgomerys and the amusement of everyone else, Grace proceeds to "take control" once again.)

"Water skids are really big water skis, Gracie. You can replace the wheels of the plane with them and then you can take off and land on water."

"That is soooo cool! Did you get them, Aunt Sam? Did you get the water skids?"

"We sure did, Nugget. And to answer your question, Kono . . . We plan to keep the plane here at the airport part of the time and docked behind the house part of the time. We've already applied for all the necessary permits and we'll be good to go when we get them."

"When can I learn to take off and land on water, Aunt Sam?"

"_After_ you learn how to do it, and do it well, on land, Nugget."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, Gracie; you'll learn to fly before Danno does."

"Hey!"

"What, Danny? I'm only stating fact. Gracie's way ahead of you on ground school."

"Like I can't catch up."

"Really, Danny? You're going to start this "one up on" crap with _Gracie_?"

"I'm not trying to "one up" my daughter, Pineapple Boy!"

"Really? 'Cause that's what it sounds like, Moron!"

(And Sam calmly takes Grace's hand in hers and starts explaining what they need to do to secure the plane as they walk back out to the tarmac and everyone else, amid various snickers and bursts of laughter, head outside leaving Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams arguing yet again. Things seem to be back to normal with the Five-O ohana.)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello, everyone. Again, I apologize for the very long period of time between posts. As some of you may remember, I have identical twin daughters, and the youngest had neurosurgery last December. We've just learned that her sister will require the exact same surgery and it's scheduled for the first part of July. Needless to say, I haven't exactly been in the right frame of mind to write anything worth reading. However, I have faith in God's mercy and healing grace, and I know that the best thing I can do right now is to maintain my normal routine as much as possible or go crazy with worry. BTW, our youngest has "bounced back" from the surgery remarkably well and was even able to play her last year of high school softball starting ten weeks after her surgery! God is truly merciful! Again, I apologize for the long "dry spell" between this, the last chapter of this installment in the "Salvation" series and the previous one. I hope to post the first chapter or two of a new story in the next few days. As always, I welcome your ideas and suggestions for storylines, and I truly appreciate your reviews. Thank you all so very much for reading and reviewing my work; your input means the world to me! Michelle **


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